Breastmilks

I've had a good day today. It's so good I feel compelled to write a blog about it. I can't remember the last time I blogged, but I know it will be at least two years before I do it again.

I arrived at my first class today 20 minutes late. I normally only allow myself to be five minutes late to a class, because I wait until the last minute to do any assignment for any class. This usually leads to me being late by a minute or two. Today, however, I was quite sure I had an annotated bibliography due. I needed to have at least five sources listed on this bibliography, and finding sources and keeping up on MLA citation format (I also had to decide what I would write my paper over) took longer than I expected. Instead of spending ten minutes on the process, I spent 30.

I'm drinking a Samuel Adams Noble Pils. It's hoppy as shit, but (I mean and) I like it.

Anyway, I got that shit done, and Google Docs made my margins too big. I wasn't all that upset about it; it's never gotten me in trouble in the past. By the time I got that shit printed out I was already 19 minutes late. I don't know why, but I just haven't been getting worried about shit lately, so I didn't really mind being late for class. I ran down the stairs and made my entrance. No one seemed to notice. I pulled out my syllabus to find out what we were doing in class, and I noticed that it said the annotated bibliography wasn't due until goddamn Thursday. Boy did I feel like a dick loushe.

I had trouble staying awake through the movie we watched in class, and I felt as though it would never end. Finally, it did end, and the professor announced he had finished grading our midterm exams. I was nervous, as I always am, because I always go into exams without really having any knowledge of what is going on. Usually my fantastic writing skill are enough to earn me an A or a B, but I still feel every time that I am going to fuck up big time (sometimes I do). Boy was I surprised to find that he had left me several comments in the margins of my essays stating, "Very good," and, "Good," and "Excellent!" At the end I was even more surprised to find, "100% Excellent!" I've never received a 100 percent on an exam in any of this professors courses. I was very happy about this shit. I left that class hoping my midterm that I was likely to get back in my next class wouldn't ruin my good day.

My next class was logic. To make up for my tardiness in Film History, I arrived 50 minutes early. I spent my time tweeting and reading emails and blog posts on ZDNet. When the teacher walked in, he announced that there were 11 As on the test and only one 100 percent. This was very sad to me, because I was hoping to get a 100 percent on the test, and there is one girl in the class who does slightly better than me. I think that's hot and I want to fuck her, even if she isn't that attractive physically. I got my second surprise of the day when my test had a 48 with a circle around it on the last page. There were only two Fs in the class on this test, and I told the gild sitting next to me that it was my first F in the class. I explained that the 48 was probably my percentage. I was only kidding, and I knew for a fact that the test was out of 48 points. I thought about asking him who got the 100 percent so he could tell me I was the one to get it in front of the whole class. I decided against this mode of action because there are several stupid people in my class, and I don't think I could take them all at once (sexually) if I were to trod on their freedom as Americans.

Walking out of class, I decided to call my dear friend Jessica to tell her the good news. She didn't answer, and I hope it wasn't because she had died before I could talk to her. That would be sad. I decided in stead to blog about it with block paragraphs.

The sad thing is, I'm only going to get a B on my next returned midterm exam, because it was take-home, and the two hours I left myself before it was due wasn't long enough to answer every question and span the required eight pages. Oh well. I guess a B will have to do. I'm just going to kill myself now is all.

Get Down On Your Knees and Tell Me You Love Me

I've been meaning to get this out for awhile. I hope you can read his comments.


My printer doesn't always work so well.




I also came across an old batch of Cotton Candy today. I'm expecting some big things to happen with that in these next few weeks.

Sister's Myspace Bulletin Post

The person who wrote this is a genius. It may be true that I am a genius, but I didn't write it.




. . . . .HERE IS THE POST

young teenager

about 13 or 14

she thought this guy she adored

was a harmless handsome prince that would never hurt her

Jeff said he was 16

he asked her out one night to go to a party

she thought yesss finnaly a night with Jeff what more can i ask for

he said its a long ride so we will be getting back late

so you should tell ur parents u r sleeping over at ur friends house

she told her parents and left ==it was 6:13PM

::::: 4 hours later 10:13pm:::::
_Jeff is drunk and high he offered Bethany but she said no_

beth: wow u r right this is a long ride

Jeff: look i just want to let u know im 19 and we arent going to a
party

beth: (in a screaming way ) omg than where r we going

Jeff: look i just wanted to have our own life together .. u know like
run away u can lie about ur age get married have kids

beth: MARRIED ?? KIDS?? O HELL NO .. stop this car

jeff: nope ..

_beth tried opening the door and window but they wouldnt open_

jeff: child lock and window broke ... sorry baby

_beth spit on jeff_

beth: im not ur baby

_jeff reached over and slapped her_

jeff: i love you bitch

beth: (crying) ur drunk and high

_jeff stopped the car immediately ... he got out and opened the trunk ... he got out rope, tape, cocain, bottle water, large eye drop looking tube, knife, and a pipe ... _

jeff: (yelling) get out ... lets go !!! ... go over there...

beth: what did u get out of the trunk ??

jeff: ull see

_beth started screamming while jeff taped her mouth shut ..._

jeff: i knew i would need that

_jeff used the rope and tied beths legs to 2 different trees and
her arms ... jeff raped beth and beth passed out ... _

jeff: o you want to sleep now do ya maybe this will help u wake up ...

_jeff opened the bottle of water and poured a quarter pound of cocain in it ... he shook up the bottle .... then he took the medicine dropper and sucked up some of the mixture ... then he injected the tube into beths vagina ... she woke up spazzing from the cocain ... jeff took the rusty 12 inch pipe and shoved it up her vagina till she bled pulled it back out then shoved it up her butt til he couldnt see it no more ... then he jumped in his car and left .. _


bethany died from internal bleeding and drug over dose... if u have feelings for her and would never want this to happen to u then repost this story as "GIRLS PLEASE READ" so you can let all the girls be alerted off who they choose and what they should be aware of ... please we need to be strong girls....we need to know what we're doing

if your a girl repost this as "girls read this and boys dont ever do this ever"

if your a guy repost this as "id kill a muthafucka

"It's called check mate!"-Bread

Sometimes I get mentioned in the media, and it makes it easier for me to write a blog (something I'm terrible at keeping up on). I can simply link to the article and be done with it. Thank you, cancer.

"Brutally witty. . . .

So the picture upload thing would not work last night. I'll just do this and then try again.

Thousands have taken it.......let's see if you can handle it, you drunken bastard! If you answer 'no' to number one, then there is no need to keep going. But if it's 'yes', then let the answers roll!!!!!

1. Have you even been drunk? No

2. How old were you the first time you got drunk? I was fourteen the first time I got high on marijuana. I think I was fifteen the first time I drank.

3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated? Like on the phone?

4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'? I've drunk speed-dialed.

5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members? Not really. Wait. Yes. My sister. And my mom. And dad. And brother.

6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk? Once. I came home after my first time. My mom followed me into my room, because I almost fell when I took my shoes off. And I tried to take my pants off so I could take a shower. I fell into my closet. And then I took a shower. Then I played drunken Gran Turismo 3. My dad asked me if I was alright, so I tried to keep still. Zach and Stefan told me to go straight to bed, but I didn't. I did all of this.

7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol related crime? No. But I would like to some day.

8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk? Clinton Coffey. Friday night.

9. Ever forgot their name? Yeah. I knew what it was on the last question, but I can now no longer recall.

10. When was the last time you were drunk? Friday and Saturday

11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge? No. I wish. Yes.

12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time? I don't need alcohol. I need food and water.

13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated? Rubbing.

14. Favorite liquor: Rubber buns.

15. Favorite beer: Deer.

16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk? It's the best.

17. Have you ever swam drunk? Yes. If I remember correctly. And I probably don't.

18. What kind of a drunk are you? Fun. I like to yell at people, touch boobies and fight people.

19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you? I never lie.

20. Favorite drinking partner(s): Dandelo.

21. Favorite bar: Alcohol: The Movie

22. Have you ever completely blacked out? Not while I was drunk.

23. Have you ever puked from drinking? There are other things to consider here.

24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'? YES!!! I'm so excited. I didn't realize it had anything to do with me drinking. I thought I was just sad that Tamara was emo.

25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated? Yes. I like to run and hit Nick in the head. (Thaddaeus that one's for you)

26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight? Yes!!!

27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know? Kaitlyn and Ani.

28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk? Zach Tatlock.

29. Do you have a drunken nickname? Citizen Dildo.

30. Have you received a 'booty call"? Dad, Citizen Dildo won't come out of the closet.

31. Funniest drunken scene in a movie: The end of Vanilla Sky, when I was drunk and I watched it, because it's good.

33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know? I don't sleep.

34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you? No. Well, my dad.

Allow me to leave Krista Huffer's answer to number 35, because she was absolutely right.

35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'? someone getting really really sick (Nick lol) or someone getting in trouble

That is seriously what Krista put. You can ask her yourself if you'd like.

36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer or cocktail waitress? I don't date, I write.

37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"? No. I don't talk to myself. That would be totally gay.

38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks? Non.

39. Have you ever drank too much on a date? What the fuck did I say?

40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink? Vanilla Coke

41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane? I've been drunk on The Great Plains.

42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day? I'd like to think so.

43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind? No. Fuck shoes.

44. What's your favorite drinking game? fuck the dealer (when i'm the dealer)

45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk? GOD YES!!!

46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk? My spine.

47. Ever been drunk at a concert? No.

48. Is this survey getting too long? It's always been too long.

49. Are you ready for the last question? Humor.

50. Why do you drink? So I could take this survey.

L

This poster would be a lot better if it was a picture of a catholic priest.

Hahaaaa, this survey is strong boy. Thank you, goddammit.

Name:: Blere
Age:: Fitteen
Gender:: Mell
Height:: Phi sump'n
Weight:: $
Ring size:: About ten inches.
Pants size:: Most pants are too small in the penis area.
Shirt size:: Small
Shoe size:: 13-14
Piercings:: Martinings
Tattoos:: Mattoons
Hair color:: Dark One Lite
Hair length:: Let's just say if I was one of those guys, I wouldn't need to cut my hair.
Eye color:: White
Zodiac sign:: Librarian
Chinese zodiac sign:: Oxford
Body type/size:: Large/obese
Birthday:: October Sky
Birthplace:: Shelbyville, IN
Place now:: Bloomingdale, IN
Race/ethnicity:: Caucasian - German/Irish/Fetish
School and grade/year:: Native Americana University, sophomonehreome
Natural hair color:: Charlie Brown
GPA:: 3.14
Blood type:: Homomo, I forget
Hobbies:: Sleeping, music, Internet, movies, drinking, smoking, partying, chilling, let's make sure internet is capitalized
I.Q.:: I.Qu.
Do you excercise:: If walking around campus counts, then yes. If not, yes.
Are you healthy:: Sometimes...he touches me in my pants.
Fun?:: ions
Serious?:: No, it's a fake knife.
Sarcastic?:: more plastic
Funny?:: People laugh at me, but I would like a normal banana later, so yeah.
Cute?:: ip
Pretty?:: Much
Good-looking?:: Relativity
Beautiful?:: I wouldn't say so. No, but a few do
Optimistic?:: Lions
Smart?:: yar
Opinionated?:: Yes. We should s
Outgoing?:: .
Shy?:: With people I don't know how to kill.
Unique?:: Am I unique?
Sweet?:: Salty
Hyper?:: Haha, no
Talkative?:: I don't like it when people talk about nothing.
Creative?:: These bites were made for poppin.
Imaginative?:: myHummp
Gloomy?:: gloomy
Happy?:: sometimes
Depressed?:: Occasionally
Silly?:: Don't be stupid.
Loud?:: Do I look like a dumb bitch to you?
Quiet?:: Yeah
Dependant?:: defendant
Loyal?:: to the king
Truthful?:: to my god too
Clever?:: ceven
Confident?:: this movie is stupid
Annoying?:: i wish i was watching something else
Artistic?:: sidekick
Musical?:: Heavens no, Hell yeah
Poetic?:: more than you can guess
Charming?:: Not around redheads
Wise?:: always
Special?:: K
Magical?:: testicles of a newt
Sensitive?:: Yes
Lustful?:: Hahahahahahahahahahaha, I am very shiny.
Sexy?:: Beating my kids.
Horny?:: Um? Mom...
Loving?:: Yessss
Lazy?:: Haha yes
Stylish?:: I am me. I think.
Normal?:: not at all
Goofy?:: Yep
Brave?:: I don't know. Put 'em up! Put 'em uuup!

[Section 2 - This or that about you]

Righty/lefty/either:: I use my left hand when the right gets tired.
Glasses/contacts/none:: My glasses were behind the toilet the last time I was them. Contact.
Punk/goth/prep/thug/??:: All and none of the above.
Innie/outie:: It depends on if I'm having sex with a guy or a girl.
Tan/pale/average/??:: Gone where, outer space?
Freckles/none/huge dick:: none

[Section 3 - Family]

Mom's name:: Linda
Dad's name:: David
Siblings/their names/their ages:: Blair-1791
Dead family members:: Huge dicks, big pussies.
Do you live with your siblings?:: Chris
Parents married/divorced/neither?:: that's morbid
Parents together/separated/dating/none?:: Dating
Do you have any stepparents?:: my medication
Ex-stepparents?:: my mom
Do you have any children of your own?:: i have other people's children
If so, what are their names and ages?:: i'll never tell
If not, do you want any?:: Never/Again

[Section 4 - Favorites]

Color:: Pink
Food:: Mac & cheese or beating my kids
Drink:: Diet Sprite
Candy:: Mr. Goodbar bites... mmmitch.
Flavor:: pizza
Movie:: You've Got Nothing
Band:: Bad Religion, The Offspring, Millencolin, Lagwagon, Fall Out Boy, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Full House
Game:: Final Fantasy IX, Legend of Zelda, Tom Spalding
Element:: Elephant
Music type:: Indie Anna Jones
Actor:: Vince Price
Actress:: Eliza Dushkukuku
Month:: Weekend
Season:: Spring
Holiday:: Summer
Shampoo/conditioner:: John Travolta's Black Brunette
Song:: Movie
Number Number Number:: One One One
Phrase:: "Fuck shoes/me, holla"
Letter:Word::Crazy:Dead
Magazine:: Electromagnetic Gothic Morbid
Restaurant:: Taco Bell
Sport:: Punching Kaitlyn in the face
Animal:: Puppy
Language:: I wish I spoke Italian.
Girl's name:: Blair
Boy's name:: I believe it's Haydn
Flower:: Wiggler
Country:: Gulf of Mexico
Weather:: Sunny, slight breeze, 98 degrees
Person:: Blair Kteve. Juuuuuust fuck around.

[Section 5 - Nothing]

Sexual orientation:: Aaron Blain
Are you a virgin?:: Sometimes. Not in the winter.
Do you like to have nothing?:: That's all a good Christian soldier like myself needs.
Do you like to have oral communication?:: Dido
Do you like to have anal nothing?:: No, but I do enjoy anal sex.
Do you like to give more or get more?:: I get more than I take.
Do you usually give more or get more?:: In terms of calories, yes.
Does size matter?:: Well, I don't want to come between you.
Do you like to kiss?:: It's fine.
French kiss?:: Never done it.
Make out?:: French kiss
Favorite position:: James LaChance
Are you more dominant?:: I suppose
Or more submissive?:: I suppose (i did not even see this one coming)
Do you look at porn?:: Who has time (for anything else)?
Do you masturbate?:: Absolutely not.

[Section 6 - Fiends]

Would you consider yourself a good friend?: It depends which me you want.
Would you rather have a lot of friends or a few good friends?:: One good fuck and a few supporters.
Who is your best friend?:: Michael, Mom
Do you have a lot of friends?:: Too many to count in one round
How many good friends would you say you have?:: 20 or so
Are you a good friend?:: I hate my life
Has anyone ever told you that you were a good friend?:: They've told me to get out of their closet.
Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad friend?:: Ani has, but she's a stupid bitch.
Do you tend to be more outgoing or shy?:: Christian
Do you consider yourself to be better than your friends?:: Not all of them
Do you consider you and your friends to be better than everyone else?:: Haha, yeah.
Do you think your friends ever get tired of you?:: It happens a lot.
Do you ever get tired of your friends?:: I have scars.
Do you like to make new friends?:: Yar
Do you talk a lot?:: I can if someone has red hair.
Are you nervous when you talk to people?:: A little, if I don't know them very well
Do you ever say your someone's friend just to make them feel good?:: Ani. But it's only so I can turn around and hurt her feelings later on.
Do you ever lie about who your friends are?:: I sometimes lie about being friends with The Sand Lot.
Do you ever play people as friends to make yourself look good?:: As if I don't look too good the way it is.

[Section 7 - Love]

Do you believe in love?:: I believe in fantasy...
Do you believe in love at first sight?:: Final Fantasy
What is love?:: IX
Have you ever been in love?:: If by love, you mean quicksand.
Are you now?:: Haha. That would be weird. Yes.
Have you ever told someone you loved them?:: Haha. That would be weird. Yes.
If so, were you telling the truth? If not, would you?:: Haha. That would be weird. Yes.
Are you married/divorced/neither?:: I'm married to my work.
Are you with someone/single/dating/none?:: I'm with Josh Lee. I believe I'm single, but I sometimes wonder if there is someone else in here. I use my datebook a lot. Some.
Do you believe in soulmates?:: Soul Caliber
Could you ever fall in love with someone of a different religion?:: I already have. She's black.
Different ethnicity?:: Absolutely not.
Same gender?:: That would be simply hilarious.
Different political views?:: I wouldn't mind an arguement every now and then.
Do you love certain material possesions?:: Yes, the ones with emotional value city
Certain hobbies?:: I really like kicking and throwing things and playing golf in the house at my parents' area, breaking shit and watching my mom clean it up.
Your friends?:: Not really.
Your family?:: Oreo.
Yourself?:: At times.
Do you have a crush?:: A one.
Do you date people just because of how they look?:: I don't date people for anything.
Do you care how people look?:: I don't like it when people look at me. Unless I'm yelling at someone. Then it's fine.
Would you date someone who was sweet even if they weren't good-looking?:: If they were hot
Would you date someone hott even if they were assholes?:: If I wanted to get them in my basement.
Would you date someone who was nice to you but asshole to others?:: I love that kind.
Would you date someone for their money?: Yeah.
Would you use someone?:: I think that's illegal
Have you used someone?:: I plead the fifth.
Have you dated someone just for their money?:: Yeah. My dad.
Have you ever dated someone who was sweet but weren't good-looking: I believe it's pronounced "wasn't."
Have you ever dated someone who was hott even though they were an asshole?:: Yeah. That's the last time I ever date my asshole.
Have you ever dated someone who was nice to you but an asshole to others?:: I'm getting tired of these questions.
Would you ever date someone for sexual reasons?:: Moby what?!
Have you?:: What? Have I what?
Would you ever have an internet bf/gf?:: Maybe to be funny. I think I would like an internet GF. Haha. You know.
Have you?:: I'm not gay.

[Section 8 - Politics and such]

Are you a democrat?:: No.
Or a republican?:: No.
Or independent?:: No.
How do you feel about abortion?:: Pro-choice
Gay marriage?:: Pro
Smoking?:: Pro
Marijuana?:: Pro
Drugs?:: Depends
Illegal immigrants?:: No
Premarital sex?:: Yeah.
Porn?:: No
Alcohol?:: Pro
Racism?:: No
Whores/prostitution?:: No
Cloning?:: No
Suicide?:: Yes
Death penalty?:: Yes
Religion in government?:: No
Our president?:: Hell no
Downloading music?:: Yes
Burning CDs?:: Burning toast.
Animal testing?:: No
School uniforms?:: Sure
One nation, under God?:: No.

[Section 9 - Religious beliefs]

What religion do you practice?:: Nature.
Have you ever practiced a religion besides the one you practice now?:: I've never really been involved in anything.
Has someone ever tried to force you into believing certain things?:: Yes. And I hate them for it.
Has someone ever tried to force you to practice another religion?:: Yes. And I hate them for it.
Do you go/have you been to religious gatherings?:: Scary.
What religion are your parents?:: Testiclehead.
Do your parents care if you practice the same religion as them or not?:: My mom seems to think, because I'm her son, I'm her.
Do they know what religion you practice?:: My mom realizes I'm not a Christian every once in a while, and gets upset about it, and then goes on pretending I am again.
Are you open about your beliefs?:: Yes
Have you ever lied about your religious beliefs to look cool?:: I fucking hate that.
Do you believe a superior being exists/ existed and created life?:: These questions are bringing up bad memories.
One God?:: What?
Does God(s) have a gender?:: Does Gods know where is at?
Male/female/neither?:: Who the fuck cares?
No God?:: No God?! No food! I'm fucking hungry!
Heaven/Hell?:: Heaven
Jesus?:: Maybe
Angels/demons?:: Angels
Spirits?:: These questions are just silly.
Ghosts?:: No.
Miracles?:: Maybe.
Aliens?:: Yeah.
Love?:: No
Fate?:: Lot.
Horoscopes?:: Start Here
Astrology?:: Asstrology
Luck?:: I can't be funny all the time.
Animals are superior, inferior or equal to humans?:: Humans are animals.
Night and day differ for a religious reason?:: Haha. Yeah. It's because God likes it when his toothbrush glows in the dark.
Ethnicity making someone superior/inferior to others?:: If they are of a fat ethnicity.
Do you dress certain ways to express your religion?:: Maybe. No.
Do other people assume what religion you practice by what you wear?::
Do you meditate/fast/chant/other?:: Other
Do you believe/agree with everything about your religion?:: Did Russell write these up? I'm on to you, Mr. Russell.
Do you believe you're right and no one elses religion matters?:: I believe everyone is right. The problem is that there are too many idiots.
Do you ever doubt your religion or religious beliefs?:: I doubt your religious beliefs, Russell.
Do you believe in yourself?:: Depends.
Are you open to other religions?:: Not really.
Do you feel superior to people who don't believe the same things as you?:: Somewhat.
Do you think everyone should practice your religion?:: They should think for themselves.
Are you interested in learning about other religions?:: Yar.

[Section 10 - Animals]

Do you have any pets?:: Yes
If so what are they? If not, do you want any?:: A dog, Oreo. A bitch, Ashley Megan. And one cunt, Daddy.
What kind of pet would you like to have?:: A homosexual.
What is your favorite color on animals?:: White. Blond hair, blue eyes.
Do you believe people should keep pets?:: As to eating them?
Do you enjoy animals?:: I enjoy eating them.
Do you like taking care of animals?:: Dolphins (when they get caught in those silly nets).
Do you animals keep you company?:: Maybe. Do you?
Do you kill animals?:: I touch animals in their pants.
Do you hunt?:: No.
Do you hate animals?:: Yes!
Do you like small/big/all/no animals?:: I like small animals a lot more than I am going to fuck her.
Do you think animals are treated poorly?: She kicked my dog.
Do you wish you could change the way people act towards animals?:: I wish I could change the way people act towards pirates.

[Section 11 - This or that]

Big/small:: Huge dicks, big pussies.
Cat/dog:: Catdog
Black/white:: White
Coffee/tea:: Coffee
Pepsi/coke:: Coke (Dell)
Soda/other:: Other Soda
Wine/beer:: Pills
Pope/none:: Pulp
Scary/comedy:: They both make me laugh and kill people.
Books/magazines:: Books
Noise/silence:: The noise of my tommy gun; the silence of a thousand dead horses.
Winter/summer:: Summer
Autumn/spring:: Autumn
Summer/spring:: Spring
Winter/autumn:: Autumn
Night/day:: Day
Hugs/kisses:: Hugs
Life/death:: Life
TV/movie:: Movie
TV/book:: Book
Fruits/vegetables:: Vegetables
Meat/vegetables:: Vegetables
Cigarettes/alcohol:: They go together
Cold/hot:: Cold
Normal/different:: Different
Male/female:: That's stupid
School/none:: School
Red/blue:: Red-blue
Smart/fun:: Fart/smun
Love/hate:: Love
Salt/sugar:: Salt
Chocolate/vanilla:: Chocolate
Evil/good:: Good
Clean/dirty:: Clean
Angel/demon:: Angel
Sunrise/sunset:: Sunrise
Punk/goth:: Punk
Punk/prep:: Punk
Goth/prep:: Prep
Truth/lies:: Truthiness
Citrus/tasteless:: Tasteless
Cake/cookies:: Cookies
Sun/moon:: Moon
Rain/snow:: Rain
Piercings/none:: long hair
Short/long hair:: piercings
Brand name/couldn't care less::
Pool/ocean:: Pool
Penis/pencil::
Sports/wet pussy:: Sports
Wet/dry:: Wet pussy
Math/shower:: Math
Microsoft Worksorks/glowsticks:: Fireworks
Lick/bite:: I like to bite big pussies and lick sangwiches.
Naked/clothed:: concrete/union workers
Intercourse/phone:: phone

[Section 12 - Education]

Do you go to school?:: Dogs pee on brick walls?
Have you gone to school?:: HH
What's your level of education?:: Very Easy, Five Stock
Do you like school?:: I like wet pussy
Learning?:: to love again
Have you ever been homeschooled?:: It felt like home.
Would you rather be homeschooled or homesextial?:: Haha
Would you rather go to public or private school?:: It would be neat to go to a school for the blind.
Have you ever skipped school?:: I've left class by popular demand.
Faked sickness to get out of school?:: I was afraid of Mrs. Jackson.
Been suspended from the beam?:: Seventeen
Expelled?:: Gas
In detention?:: Only slightly
What's your favorite subject?:: Exploring
Least favorite?:: Rules
Your schedule, block/periods/neither?:: K
What are your grades generally like?:: Beeeeee good.
Do you have many classes with your friends?:: I have friends in my head.
What classes do you want to take?:: Racially Segregated

[Section 13 - What makes you]

Happy?:: Time, Dancing, Acting
Sad?:: The Future
Laugh?:: Me, fat people with retarded looks on they face
Dance?:: Huge dicks
Sing?:: Boko Baba
Horny?:: WWE Wrestling, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage
Scared?:: Death, People, The Future
Look good?:: have a huge dick
Feel good?:: Being asleep
Feel bad?:: Not being asleep
Cry?:: Watching Vanilla Sky when I'm drunk.
Jealous?:: Fiction
Envious?:: Dead people
Scream?:: Almost running into some chick at Warped.
Angry?:: My mom, people leaving, people leaving all the time
Smile?:: V
Flush?:: Going potty or BM.
Sleepy?:: Working out
Excited?:: The future
Nervous?:: People I don't know.
Hungry?:: People I am about to kill.
Thirsty?:: Hot pussies
Feel lonely?:: Knowing I'm alone. Period.
Sick?:: Not sleeping
Mean?:: Lack of sleep + people + stupid people
Want a hug?:: gs
Want a kiss?:: I don't have a mouf.
Bored?:: Mmph mmmm m uuuuuuu.
Crazy?:: Thinking. Change. Stupidity.
Feel strong?:: Beating the shit out of Nick Allen.
Feel important?:: Looking at everyone else
Quit?:: Running out of continues.

[Section 14 - 1-10 Rating, How important is/are]

Friends:: 10
Music:: 10
Love:: 10
Happiness:: 0
People:: 0
Silence:: Sideways 8
Animals:: 10
Education:: ???
Religion:: 10
Life:: 0
Medication:: 0
Food:: 10
Sleep:: 110%
Health:: 0
Wealth:: -0
Nature:: 10
Shopping:: 0
Fun:: 10
Comfort:: 0
Water:: 10
Sex:: Sex
Clothes:: No clothes.
Alcohol:: Rubbing (wet pussy) alcohol
Cigarettes:: No clothes.
Computer:: 10 \Phone:: Wet/dry:: wet pussy

[Section 15 - Have you ever]

Went skinny dipping?:: Gone fat dipping (that means I fucked a fat guy)
Done drugs?:: No, but I fucked a fat guy.
Drank alcohol?:: No, but I have a huge dick.
Played strip poker?:: No, but I'd like to.
Climbed a tree?:: I wore the drapes.
Fallen from a tree?:: I scraped me knee.
Bungee jumped?:: I huwt my finga.
Been to Disneyland/world?:: Yes. (Haha! I lied!)
Been stung by a bee?:: Yar.
Pierced yourself?:: I pierced my other self.
Sky dived?:: No, but I've played strip poker.
Rolled your tongue?:: I can roll my huge dick.
Made a clover with it?:: Oh yeah.
Skiied?:: On the water.
Run into a wall?:: You know it.
Been on an airplane?:: I don't believe so.
On a train?:: Life is good.
Fainted?:: That's a made-up word, Jim.
Thrown up on purpose?:: No. Alcohol fixes what the doctors can't.
Eaten an insect?:: Not my fault.

[Section 16 - Misc.]

What color are your socks today?:: Yellow. I went potty on them.
Is that your monkey over there sneezing?:: Racist!
Do you own a spotted umbrella?:: I own a spotted nigger.
Do you like sporks?:: Yes, football.
What about chopsticks?:: Yes, hl
How many fingers do you have?:: Counting my penis, one.
Do you have any stiches?:: I give stiches; not get.
If you could be anything/anyone you wanted, what/who would you be?:: A rock in a stream. Far away from the reach of people.
Is your mushroom broken?:: I'm afraid so.
Do you abuse/starve your sims?:: At first I thought it said anus. It doesn't; it says sims.
How many candles do you own?:: Counting my huge dick, all of them.
Do you wear scarves?:: If someone else puts them on me.
Would you care if I licked your face like a cow?:: I'd probably be sent to tell you I killed him.
Are the bunnies pink?:: Their wet pussies are.
What about the hampsters, what color are they? Green Green
What do you think about make-up?:: It's ridiculous.
Random word that starts with Q:: Qu's Marsh
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?:: The past.
Do you like to be naked?:: There's nothing like it. I wish I could get the police to understand that.
My life has never been a bed a roses:: It would be really weird if has.
Munchy munchy have a taco for:: rill.
Yes that comes in:: my mouf.
I got:: here late.
Baby, life is like a ride on a:: mirrored track.
What is life?:: A chance to wonder what life is.

19 ways to win a girls heart

1. Hugs from behind.
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours).
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
6. Write little notes.
7. Compliment her Honestly.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Be super sweet to her.
10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12.Wipe away her tears
13. Love her with all your heart.
14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her).
16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her!
& DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!!
17. Take her for a long walk at night!
18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside to comfort her and hold her close
19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! because then she will think everything you ever said to her was a lie, even "i love you"

Girls - repost this if you think it's sweet

Guys - repost this if you would do any of it


....by opening this.... you have been given bad luck for 2 months 4days and 7min, but if you repost this bulletin guys will get the girl they want and girls will get the gut they wont within 1 month from 2 day. Title it "19 ways to win a girls heart


1. Hugs in the garden from afar.
2. Grab her purse when you walk next to each minority (don't make her grab yours).
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her bellybutton.
4. Cuddle with her uncle.
5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING YOU WOULDN'T FORCE YOUR MOTHER TO DO WHILE YOU WATCH.
6. Write little staves. (I hope no one gets this one.)
7. Compliment her face with a bucket of shut the fuck up.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your chambers as long as the police don't know.
9. Be super sweet to her, unless she's fat, then kill her.
10. Call her at night to fish her sweaty streams.
11. Come on her when she cries.
12.Wipe away her evidence
13. Love her with all your male friends.
14. Pick her up and tickle her feet with your dick and say it's a feather (she'll scream and say put me down but really she has no say in the matter).
15. Be a gentleman (hold the pickles).
16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 the future!
& DONT ever act difficult in front of ur friends than u r not gay when its just u and her, ya know!!!!
17. Take her for a fool at night!
18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside to comfort her and hold her clothes
19. NEVER LIFE TWO THERE!!!!!! because then she will think everything you ever said to her was a lie or just not true, even "i love you"

Girls - repost this if you think it's sweaty

Guys - repost this if you would do any of it just for kicks


....by opening this.... you have been given bad luck for 2 months 4days and 7men, but if you repost this bulletin guys will get the girl they want to eat and girls will get the guy they want within 1 moth from 2 gay. Title it "19 ways to win a girls body glove