"Brutally witty. . . .

So the picture upload thing would not work last night. I'll just do this and then try again.

Thousands have taken it.......let's see if you can handle it, you drunken bastard! If you answer 'no' to number one, then there is no need to keep going. But if it's 'yes', then let the answers roll!!!!!

1. Have you even been drunk? No

2. How old were you the first time you got drunk? I was fourteen the first time I got high on marijuana. I think I was fifteen the first time I drank.

3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated? Like on the phone?

4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'? I've drunk speed-dialed.

5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members? Not really. Wait. Yes. My sister. And my mom. And dad. And brother.

6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk? Once. I came home after my first time. My mom followed me into my room, because I almost fell when I took my shoes off. And I tried to take my pants off so I could take a shower. I fell into my closet. And then I took a shower. Then I played drunken Gran Turismo 3. My dad asked me if I was alright, so I tried to keep still. Zach and Stefan told me to go straight to bed, but I didn't. I did all of this.

7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol related crime? No. But I would like to some day.

8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk? Clinton Coffey. Friday night.

9. Ever forgot their name? Yeah. I knew what it was on the last question, but I can now no longer recall.

10. When was the last time you were drunk? Friday and Saturday

11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge? No. I wish. Yes.

12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time? I don't need alcohol. I need food and water.

13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated? Rubbing.

14. Favorite liquor: Rubber buns.

15. Favorite beer: Deer.

16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk? It's the best.

17. Have you ever swam drunk? Yes. If I remember correctly. And I probably don't.

18. What kind of a drunk are you? Fun. I like to yell at people, touch boobies and fight people.

19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you? I never lie.

20. Favorite drinking partner(s): Dandelo.

21. Favorite bar: Alcohol: The Movie

22. Have you ever completely blacked out? Not while I was drunk.

23. Have you ever puked from drinking? There are other things to consider here.

24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'? YES!!! I'm so excited. I didn't realize it had anything to do with me drinking. I thought I was just sad that Tamara was emo.

25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated? Yes. I like to run and hit Nick in the head. (Thaddaeus that one's for you)

26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight? Yes!!!

27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know? Kaitlyn and Ani.

28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk? Zach Tatlock.

29. Do you have a drunken nickname? Citizen Dildo.

30. Have you received a 'booty call"? Dad, Citizen Dildo won't come out of the closet.

31. Funniest drunken scene in a movie: The end of Vanilla Sky, when I was drunk and I watched it, because it's good.

33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know? I don't sleep.

34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you? No. Well, my dad.

Allow me to leave Krista Huffer's answer to number 35, because she was absolutely right.

35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'? someone getting really really sick (Nick lol) or someone getting in trouble

That is seriously what Krista put. You can ask her yourself if you'd like.

36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer or cocktail waitress? I don't date, I write.

37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"? No. I don't talk to myself. That would be totally gay.

38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks? Non.

39. Have you ever drank too much on a date? What the fuck did I say?

40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink? Vanilla Coke

41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane? I've been drunk on The Great Plains.

42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day? I'd like to think so.

43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind? No. Fuck shoes.

44. What's your favorite drinking game? fuck the dealer (when i'm the dealer)

45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk? GOD YES!!!

46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk? My spine.

47. Ever been drunk at a concert? No.

48. Is this survey getting too long? It's always been too long.

49. Are you ready for the last question? Humor.

50. Why do you drink? So I could take this survey.