Monday, November 08, 2010

Balls State

Several months ago, amid a night of sitting around a fire, participating in certain things, my dear friend Sam began to speak of the troubles he has in finding friends to travel with him to his alma mater, Ball State University.  I suggested that I might have an interest in pursuing such a trip with him sometime in the future, due to my need for social activity and constant approval of people I hardly know.  He instantly became enthralled at the idea of taking me up to Muncie with him and insisted that I let him know when I had a weekend free for such a journey. All I had to do was ask to have a weekend off from work, and we'd be set.

For some time, I had been planning on attending the birthday celebration for my other dear friend, Kate.  Her constant coquetry and sense of humor kept me interested, so I promised to be in attendance at the gathering at a certain downtown Indianapolis bar for the celebration of her existence.  The date set for the party was the ninth of October.  I had been looking forward to it ever since attending the same celebration the year prior, and I knew she had been looking forward to seeing me there even more.

The week before that of Kate's birthday I received an SMS text message from Sam: "Take next weekend off you asshole. It is Ball State's homecoming and you will be going there with me."  I had a decision to make.  On the one hand, I care deeply for Kate, my ex future roommate.  On the other hand, I really need to get out and meet some new people and get really drunk and make an ass out of myself.  In the end, I decided to do the right thing.  I picked up the phone and texted my future roommate, telling her something had suddenly come up and I wouldn't be able to make it to her party.  It pained me to have to do so, but I had a feeling it would bring us closer together in the end.  I was wrong about that.  Long story short: she's dead now.

It comes time to leave for our trip, and we do a couple things on the way there. We eat, we watch Sam's brother's football game that he isn't playing in because of an injury.  We go to meet Sam's dad in the parking lot behind the school.  Sam suggests what we are all thinking: that his dad is about to murder the three of us and harvest our organs.  This turns out to not be the case, and we are all grateful.

From there we go to a Marsh somewhere.  The bitch at the office won't punch in a goddamn card for us, so I slapped her in the face.  We got out of there pretty quick.  There was a girl service clerk taking out the trash who kept eye fucking Sam, so we helped Sam throw that bitch in the dumpster.  We don't put up with eye fucking; that's sexual harassment, and sexual harassment isn't cool.  You sexually harass, you get killed.  That's the rule.

Later that night, Sam got into a heated debate on his Android smart phone.  I wish I could recall what it was he said that was so funny, but I just can't seem to find that memory.

Around this time, everyone starts drinking.  I think I left out the part where we arrive at the house, but that is exactly where we are.  I'm drinking. Other people are drinking.  We go to the liquor store at some point to get some more drink, and I get even more drunker after that.  I eat a bunch of food from the people's fridge while they are not looking.  Finally, I convince Sam to get the fuck out of that house and try to look for some women.  Sadly, by this point, I was a little too fucked up to really be in control of my actions.

By the time we got to the bar, I was ready to do something else.  I'm not sure what it was I exactly wanted to do, but I walked out of the bar and quickly found myself not knowing where I was.

I walked around a bit, and I eventually heard someone yelling some shit at me.  I turned to investigate, and I found that it was a young man standing on a porch at a house party.  I approached the person and convinced him that I meant him no harm.  I said a few things to him, then another guy came out and told us we had to go inside.  My next memory is being in the bathroom at the same house (I think) with a few other people.  As I walked out, I realized that I didn't know anyone, and I wasn't in any shape to be making new friends.  I left.

After strolling around a bit, I ended up hearing someone else yelling at me.  This time, it was a girl and a guy.  I approached the two, and the girl assured me she would paint my face for free.  It sounded like a good deal at the time.  She painted my face and we talked; about what, I have no idea.

Anyway, I'm only about one fourth of the way through this story, and I'm gonna go ahead and call it quits.  It's taken me around a month of writing this, and I'm using way too many inconsequential details, and I think it's totally gay, and I haven't even written about the funny parts of the trip.  Fuck it.  Don't read this post.
 
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