You Said Your Girlfriend's Pregnant Now, How Far Along is She?

I have lots of new fun stories to tell, but I'm tired, and I'd never tell you guys anyway.

It looks like our old friend is at it again.

Google has recently released an alternative to Microsoft Word. You can sign up for writely.com beta and you don't even need a Google account.

Two new films from Trey Parker and Matt Stone? Fuck that.

Get Down On Your Knees and Tell Me You Love Me

I've been meaning to get this out for awhile. I hope you can read his comments.


My printer doesn't always work so well.




I also came across an old batch of Cotton Candy today. I'm expecting some big things to happen with that in these next few weeks.

Credit Card? You Got It.

I know I say this a lot, but I just swung my right foot out too much when I turned into the bathroom. I didn't actually turn into the bathroom; you know what I mean. Anyway, this miscalculation led to me losing two toes. I used to make this mistake all the time when I was younger. I actually can't remember the last time it's happened. My foot hurts.

My good friend Jesse (I call him Jess. He left a comment for me yesterday under that name, but he is Jesse everywhere else on Blogger. I'm not quite sure how he managed to pull that one off.) has recently started a blog. I find this to be quite exciting. You see, Jesse will be going off to school soon and I shall need a way to monitor his movements. His blog only has one post in its current state, but it will most likely grow to several hundred in the next few months. His first post is a very good one. He describes the joy of his two new, very good friends described as "one male and one female." He has decided to keep the names classified because he feels names are pointless and all that matters is that we all support President Bush. I couldn't agree with him more, but I'd still like to share these names with you. The "boy" he writes of is none other than the late, great Nick Allen. I don't know where Jesse's fondness of Nick came from. It must have been that night Nick wouldn't drink because he had to drive home in ten minutes (Pussy! Cough!Cough! Pussy!). I just checked my medication that I haven't taken in months, and I have six half-pills left. Let me know. They're gonna go fast. The "girl" in this mysterious tale is also a good friend of mine, Zachatatl. You see, the night Nick wouldn't drink was also the night everyone else did (Cough!Cough! StrongBoy!). Zach later decided to piss all over my dad's car. This caused bad blood between the two of us. The problem with this was the fact that I already had enough bad blood from the raised prolactin levels. It was fine when I could lactate, but now I have milk coming out of one titty and Bon Jovi classics coming out the other.

My point: We need more people in power setting good examples for our youth. Jesse, being the big CEO that he is, doesn't need to go to college. He already has all the riches any man could possibly dream of. What could he possibly accomplish by going to college that he hasn't accomplished at this point? Well, I'll tell you. He's setting an example for people like Derek Weaver--people who are poor and ugly to the most extreme circumstance.

I need ice for my foot. Holla-atchaboy!

How I Spent My Summer (Working) Vacation (Vacation)

This summer has been a blast. I have been on vacation from my life as well as my blogging career. Here are a few of the gems you have missed out on.

I hung out with the guys. Nick is on the left. Randal is in the middle. And Jimmy is the lazy one on the right.

Randal left after I scared his dog and made her run into a door and then caused her to piss on the floor. It took Nick almost no time at all to get his pants off.

I also taught some bad language to some animals. If you can't make out what this character is saying, I can only do this for you, "I want your dick . . . That's a mouthful." Now, I only taught him every word up until "dick," mind you. The rest was all him. These video games are getting smart.

Not two minutes later did I witness my brother (Brandon) on top of my sister (Ashley).

Then I kissed a French guy after our race.

I Had Another Day

I woke up today. I finished some Tucker Max delectables. Kylie called me. I got a hair cut.

Kylie pretending to know how to read.

Kylie pretending to know how to cut hair.

I got some of my old socks from Stefan and left my present socks there.

Back to Dashboard

UnderTheRose09

Who is this?

They instant messaged me, but I didn't want to stay on, so I declined. Let me know.

Tired

That is why I'm going to bed.