t...Time...to leave?

I got my first issue of Time today. I'm very excited. For seriously, more than normal excited. This is just a few days after getting my first issue of Newsweek, but I've already read more of the Time. It's not that I like Time more than Newsweek; I just haven't had time (normal time) to read my Newsweek. Now, I know what you're thinking--Goddammit Blairre, if you had time to read Time, then hows come you couldn't fine newsweek (time) to read Newsweek?

So, here's the situation (no bullshit). Newsweek isn't as good as Time. Actually, it might be better. I don't know. I never gave it a chance. I really haven't had the time for it until today, when my dad threw this weeks issue of Time at me. Well, John McCain was on the cover, which beat out the President Bush cover of Newsweek. Not that Newsweek has a bad thing going here; it's obviously depicting Bush as a loser with a capital "R" (though, how else could one really depict him?). But 4rill, I'll get there. One thing at a time. It isn't easy to read Newsweek while writing a blog, IMing, doing one's part in the study of protein folding, and reading the business section of Time. On top of all that, I've got bills to pay of until I go back to school in the fall, so I really don't owe anyone an explanation.

I know it mean little publishing these word here, but John McCain needs to be the candidate on the Republican ticket in 2008 (2008). I don't agree with all of his views, but he's definitely the least likely of the Republican candidates to continue destroying the libertarian ideals of our forefathers. We need to stop fucking with these goddamn traditionalists. While the rest of the world is making progress, we're still debating whether or not evolution can be backed up with the teachings of the bible. What the fuck is wrong with people? I think we all need to make a pact right now to take at least one stupid person a week, and make them read a fucking book. Everyone needs to do this. Stupidity spreads like wildfire. It won't go away on it's own. It's going to be a hard fight. Hard because it will never end. People should need to be tested before they're allowed to vote. I know a lot of what I'm saying here is contradictory, but really, fuck stupid people. And I shouldn't really be singleing out any groups here, I've met dumbasses all across the board. They travel in large numbers. The good thing is they're always happy express openly their flaws.

Goodnight.

Why Juno Sucks Ass

For the past few weeks I've been hearing from all sorts of lifeforms how fantastic Jason Reitman's film, Juno, is. I first heard of the film from my boss, Jamie. I said, "My brother saw Sweeney Todd last night; he said it was one of the best movies he's ever seen." Jamie responded, "It's a musical. I saw Juno; and it was one of the best movies I've ever seen." It was the first time I had ever heard of Juno. Jamie has pretty good taste in good, so I saw no reason to believe there was any amount of trickery at play.

Fast forward some time. Someone (I don't remember who) said the same thing about it.

Fast forward awhiles. Deanna says, "Let's see Juno. I says, "Oh yeah, I heard it's good."

I heard from others (my brother, Ross Toss, everyone else in the whole world) that it was a great movie.


After a week or two, Deanna said to me, "I saw Juno. It was really good. We should watch it together. I gave the obvious response: "Whatever."

Deanna and I went to Taco Bell last night. I had some burritos. They were decent burritos. We crossed the street to see Juno. It was one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time.

Juno contained four events, somehow spread thin enough to cover 92 minutes of film (spoilers):

1. Juno gets Knocked Up.

2. Juno doesn't have sex with an older man.

3. Juno gives the baby away.

4. Credits.

Don't get me wrong. The whole movie wasn't all that bad. There actually were three funny parts in the film. My first laugh came when Ricky Fitts's (when writing something other people will read, one should always add the extra s when referring to a singular possessive entity ending in s to prevent confusion over weather the entity is singular or plural) mother, Barbara Fitts, said something about Jesus. I was the only person in the theater laughing. The second laugh came when we saw Michael Cera's fat mother the first time. Again, I was the only one laughing. The third laugh occurred the second time we saw his mother. I didn't laugh that hard.

I'm not sure why I'm the only person on Earth who hated this movie. Actually, I just checked the message board on IMDB, and it turns out a lot of people hated it. I fell much better now. I only hope I was able to save a few people by writing this.

If you've made it this far, thank you for giving me a chance to vent.