Super Mario Bitches

I'm gonna do the Nintendo one first.

It's like this:
I was asleep in my bed one day when Kylie called me on the telephone. She asked me if I wanted to go fishing with her and Alex Miller. I agreed. I got up, put some clothes on, left with Kylie and Alex in Alex's big sexy truck, went to Trista's house to retrieve her Will, went to the cemetery, fished with my penis, took Will home, and then Alex took Kylie and me back to my house. We were gonna go swimming at her house, but after reading the newspaper, she decided she would rather play Nintendo. So I hooked up the NES, and we spent countless hours playing Super Mario Bros. 3. I pretty much kicked ass, and Kylie just kept fucking up and dying. We did the battle thing a lot, and I always came out on top in that as well. Ashley suddenly appeared, and the three of us went to McDonald's for some food. After they left, I went to (nothing) to purchase some diapers and a bag of chips. I went home to get my directions to Dr. Duran's house, and my brother was listening to some "Scars" by Papa Roach in our room. I ran back out to the car, expecting "Scars" to still be on when I fired it up. Then I realized that my brother was simply listening to an mp3 on the computer and the radio couldn't possibly be picking it up. But when I started the car and the radio came on, guess what was on. I went there, talked to some people, and then left. I left because I wanted to get some sleep before going into work for twelve hours. I got in bed and couldn't get there. The end.