You Think We Could Jump Across this Brooke? No? Let's Just Go Back and Play in the Sandbox, Then.

Rougher Draft (Don't read this one. Read the complete version down below.)

Many, many years ago, my father gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Her name was Brooke. She was a large baby, weighing in at 18 pounds. She had a baby sister a short time later, but that was just something no one cared about. What everyone cared about was the next installment to the family: me. As we grew up, my sister and I formed a friendship no one could touch. Over the years, I have gotten myself stuck in many great predicaments, finding I can trust my older sister with anything.
The earliest memory I have of my sister helping me out of a tight situation is when I was about seven. The kid next door, Sean Hudson, had a skateboard. I was enthralled by the awesomeness of the contraption. Sean was about my age, so we would play tag sometimes. Every once in a great while, Sean would get out his skateboard. We would take it out front and ride it up and down the sidewalk. Neither of us really knew how to use a skateboard, but we could ride along well enough on our knees. My parents did not approve of me riding on a skateboard. Mother had warned against it. She promised trouble for me if I were to disobey. I disobeyed all the time without consequence, until I fell off and cracked my head open.
The first person I came across was my sister (the real one), and she was well aware of my mom’s stance on what I had been doing. She told my mom she had seen me trip and fall while running back to the house. My mom totally fell for it. I went to the hospital and got some stitches. That was the end of it.
One thing I totally hate and can not stand, is drug use. I can handle being around alcohol, but that is where I draw the line. When I got a little older, some of the kids in my clickety-click started drinking alcohol. I must have been about twelve. I even tried it a few times, and I would rely on my sister to help me lie to my parents about where I was and what I was doing. By the time my friends started using meth, my sister could drive and had a car. I could rely on her to pick me up and take me home if I felt uncomfortable with my surroundings. My parents would have freaked out if they knew I had been hanging out with people who were using such drugs. I would never have been able to call them for help.
Once I was in high school, I began having relationships with girls. My sister was in college at this point, but I could still call her and ask for advice. I had no difficulty in telling her about any problems I was having. I was scared to death of what I would need to do if something were to come prematurely, like the end of the world. If Tom Cruise had been my dad, this probably would not have worried me. The problem was, Tom Cruise was not my dad. My dad was much taller than Tom Cruise. A lot of girls are turned off by short men, but I think Tom Cruise is a total hottie. Some girls think other girls are hot. My sister, however, liked boys, just like me. That worked out wonderfully, because she knew exactly how to help me. I didn’t have to worry about her going to my parents, and telling them my situation. My parents already hated me enough the way it was. I knew my sister would love me no matter what. She was a little upset when I first told her about my homosexual fantasies, but she was very supportive all the way up to the point when I changed my mind.
Sisters are a great thing to have, and I would recommend everyone get one right now. They will definitely save you a heaping nipple of trouble. And when I say sister, I mean friend, because people need to have someone to fall back on when they need a helping hand. Without that sort of friendship, it can be easy to lose your way.


Ultimate Final Draft

Many, many years ago, my father gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Her name was Brooke. She was a large baby, weighing in at eight pounds eleven ounces. She had dark brown hair and brown eyes. She is now of normal height and is not too fat. She smells like flowers and is never too busy to have some ice cream with her little brother. She can, at times, be judgmental, but she is never really too hard on folks about it. As we grew up, my sister and I formed a friendship no one could touch. Over the years, I have gotten myself stuck in many great predicaments, finding I can trust my older sister with anything.
The earliest memory I have of my sister helping me out of a tight situation is when I was about seven. The kid next door, Sean Hudson, had a skateboard. I was enthralled by the awesomeness of the contraption. Sean was about my age, so we would play tag sometimes. Every once in a great while, Sean would get out his skateboard. We would take it out front and ride it up and down the sidewalk. Neither of us really knew how to use a skateboard, but we could ride along well enough on our knees. My parents did not approve of me riding on a skateboard. Mother had warned against it. She promised trouble for me if I were to disobey. I disobeyed all the time without consequence, until I fell off and cracked my head open.
The first person I came across was my sister (the real one), and she was well aware of my mom’s stance on what I had been doing. She told my mom she had seen me trip and fall while running back to the house. My mom totally fell for it. I went to the hospital and got some stitches. That was the end of it.
One thing I totally hate and can not stand is drug use. I can handle being around alcohol, but that is where I draw the line. When I got a little older, some of the kids in my clickety-click started drinking alcohol. I must have been about twelve. I even tried it a few times, and I would rely on my sister to help me lie to my parents about where I was and what I was doing. By the time my friends started using meth, my sister could drive and had a car. I could rely on her to pick me up and take me home if I felt uncomfortable with my surroundings. My parents would have freaked out if they knew I had been hanging out with people who were using such drugs. I would never have been able to call them for help.
Once I was in high school, I began having relationships with girls. My sister was in college at this point, but I could still call her and ask for advice. I had no difficulty in telling her about any problems I was having. I was scared to death of what I would need to do if something were to come prematurely, like the end of the world. If Tom Cruise had been my dad, this probably would not have worried me. The problem was, Tom Cruise was not my dad. My dad was much taller than Tom Cruise. A lot of girls are turned off by short men, but I think Tom Cruise is a total hottie. Some girls think other girls are hot. My sister, however, liked boys, just like me. That worked out wonderfully, because she knew exactly how to help me. I didn’t have to worry about her going to my parents, and telling them my situation. My parents already hated me enough the way it was. I knew my sister would love me no matter what. She was a little upset when I first told her about my homosexual fantasies, but she was very supportive all the way up to the point when I changed my mind.
Sisters are a great thing to have, and I would recommend everyone get one right now. They will definitely save you a heaping nipple of trouble. And when I say sister, I mean friend, because people need to have someone to fall back on when they need a helping hand. Without that sort of friendship, it can be easy to lose your way. I have no idea where I would be or what I would be doing today if not for Brooke. If I had to guess, I would say that I would probably be dead.


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