Lyfe of Brian

For the three of you who realize that I have changed my name to Brian, here is the explanation.  If you were expecting something sweet and awesome as shit, I'm sorry.  You won't find that here.

After seeing Steve (I think his name is Steve) many times at work, where he can clearly see my name tag, it dawned on me that he hadn't been calling me Brian because he thought it was funny.  He really thought my name was Brian.

The other day, a man who often comes in to send faxes called and asked me a question.  I answered him, and he asked if I was Robert.  I assured him I wasn't Robert, and he asked me if I was Craig.  I told him I wasn't Craig.  He then asked me if I was Brian.  We have a Robert and a Craig, but no Brian (R+C+-B).  I knew that he must have been talking about me when he said Brian.  I assured him at this point that he was actually talking to Judy.  He further tried to find out who I (Brian) really was, but I wouldn't back down from my Judy story.  He finally gave up and I was able to go about my shit.

Later in the day, I started thinking about how often people call me Blaine and Blake and stupid shit like that.  I don't have a problem with my name being Blair or having people come up to me and telling me that their granddaughters are named Blair or that they think my name is exotic.  I like that shit.  What I don't like is being reminded of how fucking stupid people are when my name is on a goddamn tag right in front of them, and they still call me stupid shit.  So, I have decided to fix this problem by selecting my most popular name: Brian.

Please, be aware that I will no longer respond to Blair.  I will respond with a smile and nothing else (which means I just lied).  I will now only respond to my God-given names: Brian & @TheRealJohnKing.