Cpt. Pudsong, AT&T

Update!!!!

Ladies and gentlemans, we got him!

I'm on the left, and Sean Hudson is on the right.

It may sound weird to yous, but two people I know have birthdays todays.


Sean Hudson should be turning twenty today, but I don't know if he will. He sometimes changes his mind on that one, so it's anybody's guesses.

I hope to have a good picture of him to add to this soon.

Collage #1

END

Chelsea Baugher drove me home.

Mr. Lux Wouldn't drive me home.

Miss Chittick just sat at her desk.

Stop.

Coach Man loves to smile.

Mr. Lux tries to dodge while talking to a parent.

Sean Hudson becomes very angry.

Shit.

BEGINNING

Tom

This post is far from done.




Hi. I'm Blaire. This is a picture of me about eight months ago. I am holding some awards I got for my accomplishments throughout the cross country season. I am not that small anymore. I now have a nice layer of class-4 armor. My hair is now a great deal shorter as well.




That's my brother, Brandon Kyle, on the left with his tennis participation award. We are lying on the cafeteria floor at our school.




I'm here with my family.




Blaire, Alex Miller, Zach Fox, done running the race guy, good job.




Coach man was quite proud of us that day.




Stephanie and I were supposed to dance, but Stephanie acted like she needed to talk to me about something, and she just said that because she didn't want to dance, because she can't dance, so we just sat down, and she started talking about some stupid shit, and Lindsay Conner took a picture and gave it to me at school the following week.




I got this guy and a keychain. And guess what. I didn't even want one of those fuckin XXXXXXXXXXL t-shirts, so suck my balls.




I was counting some tallying some freshman survey stuff for Audrey Brown in squib (our school's yearbook) the other day, and I came across this guy. I thought it was pretty funny. Do you see it? It's funny.




This is from the senior packet we had to fill out for squib. Every senior was asked to fill one of these out. I had to make some adjustments to mine before turning it in, so I decided to scan it before i did so, so I could always remember it how it was. The answers I put. I would have gotten in trouble for having them on there. No joke. I kick ass.




Wesley Flemming. Now, there's a character. You probably won't get what is so great about this one unless you know Wesley. As a matter of fact, I saw the responses on this and thought is seemed like Wesley material. I was not at all surprised when I looked at the top of the paper and saw his name. Wesley is a very small little bitch. He has a wonderfully dry sense of humor. I could go on for days, but no.




This beautiful piece of art should really be closer to the top.

So, we were in AP bio the other day, dissecting pig hearts and stuff. While everyone was hard at work, I was fingerpainting...with pig blood. It was fun as shit. I showed it to many people. Most were scared. All were happy to know how awesome I was.




Cross Country Camp, Summer 2003. That is Zack Attack on the left. Jon Lee is in the middle, while I am on the right with my really short hair. You need to recca-nize.

Correction: This picture is from the state track meet we went--it's so fucking hot, I wish my parents believed in air conditioning--to, because Sean Hudson ran and finished fourth (?) in the 1600. He was seeded seventh and we caught about 800 cicaidas in a bottle. They died later on. I kept the bottle in my room, and it started to expand over time. Stefan came over and twisted the lid in my room, and it made the whole house smell like shit. My dad later threw the bottle away. This picture takes place about two years after my original claim. Sorry for the mix-down.



Do you guys remember this? Sectional. Stephanie came. She was just plain bad luck.

I just thought of something funny:

-do you have an umbrella?
-yeah, let me get it

I spent most of my time over there, talking about Lees and their penises and other good stuff.

Danny Nuthak bought Stephanie some popcorn, and they fell in love and had sex on the bleachers.




I ran. Josh is over there too.

Executive Producers

I'm sitting here, watching How's your News? on my little sister's portable DVD player. This is supposed to be a funny movie. It's a documentary where a bunch of retarded travel around the U.S., interviewing people about stuff and stuff. I wanted to get this movie a long time ago, but I assumed it didn't really exist.

Something bad happened to my IT band the other day, and I haven't been able to run for the past few days.

Kellie subbed for Miss Couden the other day.

I drew a picture of Megan for Ben.

Did I already say that?

I went to see the Ring 2 with Kaitlyn Clark and Sean Pudson and Jon Lee last night. I enjoyed myself. We walked to Taco Bell, where we saw Kyle DeWitte. We went to my house, and then I ate a bunch of stuff and went to bed.

My dad took me to get some new shoes today. We went to Best Buy and he bought me Anchorman and How's your News?.

This movie is starting to piss me off, and someone owes me a picture.

I Hate Goddamn Bananas

Corey finally put up those sexy pictures of me. Here's one. Here's the other. The water was really cold, so I jumped out pretty quick, and he didn't get any pictures of me while I was in there. Oh well. Better luck next time.

I went to grab for my Team America soundtrack last night, and it wasn't there. I am very upset about that. If anyone sees it, please return it to me. Download "Lisa and Gary." It's really good. I told my parents I wanted it played at my funeral, and they got kinda freaked out. But it is good, so have fun.

I was running late to school this morning, because I wanted to get on the internet. I decided it was time to leave after just a little while. I went out to the kitchen to find my brother cleaning up a lots of coffee off the counter. I asked him if we were leaving, and he got some more paper towel and told me he had to finish cleaning the shit up, so my dad wouldn't know where his coffee went. I got back on the computer, and my brother decided to have diarrhea. I asked him if I should wait, and he said I should. After about ten minutes, my brother told me to leave him. I left. Brother...oh no! was the excuse written by myself on the sign-in thing. I went to class, and I saw the black chick and Tamera or something, and then I kept finding grass in my hair. I read in AP bio, and Jim and I lifted like a couple of awesome bitches. In English, Ben and I talked to Megan. I ran, and it was alright. My feet got really numb again. I saw Sean Hudson while my feet were numb, and we talked. I ran back to the school, and I broke a watch. The pieces went flying everywhere, and I said, "I wasn't expecting that to happen." Coach Man was waiting on Sean to get back, and I told him Sean ran from his house, and we decided that Sean would probably run home and not to the high school. Coach Man left, and then Sean showed up. I talked to Sean for a little while, and then he showed me some nice abdominal workouts, and then I decided to take him home, and we saw Stan in the parking lot, and he talked to Sean about U of I and Bryce, and he said U of I was one of the schools he went to, and he said he really liked it there. I took Sean home, and I went home.

Thanks for the Update, Ben Green

I braided Kylie's hair a little bit today. It was pretty sweet.

On my way back to the school, on my run, I was passed by Sean Hudson's old friend, the old guy that drives the brown truck with the ice cream guy music and the spinny thing on the back bumper. It was the closest I've ever been to that guy. I hope to run into him again soon, so I can confront him and reveal his true identity.

I wish someone would kill me. Haha!

Fuck you guys.

Run Away!

I went to Zach's house today. He was there with Jon Lee. He was doing stuff. Jon Lee informed the two of us that Sean Hudson had plans to run with his girlfriend, Gwendolyn Kemple, towards the boulder, so Zach and I made plans to ambush them. Jon left, and Zach and I went out to stretch. At one point in our run, a dog came out and tried to eat us, but luckily, I used my high-pitched scream to scare it away. And scare it away it did. Yessir. We ran out there really far, and Zach stopped in the road to go potty. He was facing that way, and I noticed a car coming from that direction. I said, "Hey, Zach!" Zach put his clothes on in a hurry, and we ran back the way we came. It was almost no time at all before we saw the young couple running towards us. We hid behind a bush, and when they were very close, we jumped out and killed them. Well, alright, we didn't kill them, but we did scare the shit out of them. Go Bears! We talked for a little while, and then Zach and I ran back. We stretched. I went for a drive in the country, and then I went home. While I was pulling into the driveway, I turned the radio to Quew Ninety-five. There was a good song about cocaine. I listened to the song. When the song was over, Desperado came on, and it's a really good song, and I listened to it and sang all the words and it's my favorite Eagles song of all time, and it'd been a while since I last heard it, and it's good to thin about, and so I'll put the lyrics right here:

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow
Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get
Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone
Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late.

Anyway, near the end of the song, my mom came out with the phone, but I was singing, and when the song was done, she told me Sean called and wanted me to come to his house. She said she wasn't sure if it was Sean, but she said the person had a soft voice, so she thought it must have been Sean. Sean Hudson.
It was Jon. I went to Sean's house, and I saw his dad, Mike; and his mom, Mike; and his sister, Mike, and the five of us (Sean, Gwendolyn, John, Zach, and Blaire) went to Ridder's. I rode with Jon. I took off my shorts, and I rolled down the window, and I held my shorts out there for everyone to see. While we were going down 44, I saw a cop, and I tried to roll down the window, but Jon had disabled my ability to do so. So, I kept flipping off the cop, and I pretended I was shooting him, and Jon was getting really mad. We got there and we talked about retarded kids at the river, and running the trail thing, and Zach with his bone, and Zach falling down the stairs with it, and Zach riding into a basketball goal, and Blaine Zimmerman. It was a good time. We all went our separate ways and now I'm here.

Penetration at its Best

My last real post was on the fifteenth, so I'm gonna try to remember all the highlights since then.


2/16

Had a short swim practice.
Some people were taking pictures. I think Sam Booth and Eric Byrer got the best ones. ;)
We went to Rob's house for food and stuff, and we showed Rob the pictures, and then Cody Miller showed my mom and Tyty's mom one of them. I think it scared both of them. We then watched Old School and I beat the shit out of Chris Wooten, and then we all went home.
I talked to Clinton on the internet for just a little while. We sent each other lots of smileys.
That's about all I can remember.


2/17

Some people did their society project in English. They lived in a bubble, in the ocean. They had a picture of it. They rode elevators down to the bubble from an island. I guess the island was just a big piece of land floating around on the water, and it really pissed me off.
Swimming sectional.
I beat Cherry, right?
Yeah.
He didn't do shit.
That's right.


2/18

My groups day to go in English.
I had trouble getting the printer to print my musical talents for the project.
I had to write some lyrics at lunch.
I put on my Johnny Depp Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas shirt in front of everybody in the hallway.
We did our thing.
I read my lyrics, and it didn't even matter that I had all that music, because we didn't even use it and Miss Couden didn't even see it.
We showed our video to the rest of the class. I was somewhat fearful that Miss Couden would try to kill me after seeing me naked in the video, but she just laughed along with the rest of the class.
Swim practice.
I walked over to Beavis Alert's house at approximately 5:30 P.M. We drove around for a bit. I told him many great stories. He called Amber Alert, and then we drove thru the water and got her.
We all went to Goodwill, where we saw Eric Byrer, shopping with his mother, Susan.
We looked and looked for something for me to wear to formal. Nothing seemed to fit me.
We finally found this little black skirt and this stretchy pink shirt. We got a nice purse, and we were on our way.
Beavis Alert took me home.
I drove on over to the high school.
Senior night.
I saw my Clinton, and I gave him a hug.
I saw some Lees (one of them took notice to my shirt after some time) and a Hudson and a Kuhn and a Newkirk and a Pierce and a Barlow and an Orem (he recognized the Fear and Loathing scene on my shirt right away) and I ate four hotdogs, and then we had our cross country recognition, and then I got some ice cream.
Blaire Hartman, Andrew Newkirk, Joh Lee, Josh lee (Jon comes before Josh aphabetically), Sean Hudson, Jarod Grimme, Adam Barlow, Lindsay Conner, Justin Kuhn, and Pierce Martin all went to Applebee's, where we saw Pat Creel.
It was nice seeing Pat Creel.
I was very funny.
I told Adam Barlow many interesting stories about Lindsay Conner.
We all went home.


2/19

Got up at about nine.
Got on the internet for a while.
Shaved.
Went to the high school.
Got on the bus.
Went to Center Grove for sectional finals.
Went into the locker room.
Stefan found a pencil.
Stefan tried to get pencil stuck in ceiling.
Blair found stool.
Blair tried to get stool stuck in ceiling.
Stool didn't stick.
Stool came back down.
As did a nice portion of the ceiling.
Oops!
Blair picked up some big pieces of the ceiling.
We got out of there very quickly.
We swam.
We got 45 points, I think.
We lost.
Um.
I went home.
I got dressed up for formal.
I picked up Amber Alert.
Her mom, I think, got some pictures.
We went to see Beavis Alert at work.
We headed over to Lindsay Conner's house.
We passed Bryce New on Amos.
We got to Linday's just in time to see the end of Secret Window.
Johnny Depp.
Adam Barlow was there.
Megan Allen and Lori Nigh showed up.
We all went to get Erica Cole and Derica.
We all went to Logan's Roadhouse.
We saw Pat Creel there.
What are the odds of that?
We ate.
I told Adam Barlow a secret.
Megan left her cell phone on the table, so I took it.
I called a few people from Megan's phone.
I called Sally, pretending to be Adam, and he didn't like the message I left her, and he erased it.
We went to the thing.
Everyone thought I was beautiful.
People were getting pictures of me left and right.
We danced.
A bunch of guys were wanting to take me home with them.
We went to Denny's.
A guy gave me a dollar for wearing a skirt.
I got this Oreo thing.
We left.
I went home, I think.
Wait.
I played games with Adam Barlow as we were heading down 44.
And then I led the way for a little, and then I started driving crazy, and then this cop pulled up, and I drove away very slowly.
The cop just kinda sat there for a bit, and then he went on his way.
And then I went home.
I started to write a poem about it, I think.
I think I fell asleep around 5.


2/20

Got up at about noon.
Talked to Blaine Zimmerman on the internet.
He directed me towards Paris Hilton's contacts (not the kind you wear in your eyes).
I tried many of the numbers.
None seemed to work.
I think that's about it.


2/21

Got up.
Went to the computer.
Recognized, right away, the headline stating that my new hero, Hunter S. Thompson, had committed suicide.
I spent most of the day finding links to him and putting them in my blog.
I sat around.
Uh....
Hmmm.
I found out Dragonball GT is on Cartoon Network now.
I know I'm gonna have to start watching Dragonball GT.
It's been such a long time since I've seen any Dragonballs.
It really is the best show ever once you seen it seven times.
I watched Howard Stern.
Very funny.
I watched Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Very funnier.
The fucking President's thing.
The kid, the Even Stevens guy. Yeah, him.
I went to bed.
Had lots of trouble sleeping.


2/22, Today

I added five pages to my AP music theory guy.
I stopped trying on it, that's why I was able to get so much done.
All through AP bio, I wanted to use penetration for an answer to a question Mr. Lux would ask.
About halfway through the class, Mr. lux asked a question. He said the word begins with a P and ends with an N, and I'm sure you could imagine the joy I had right then.
I gave my answer. It was the wrong answer.
Mr. Lux was really pissed off.
The correct answer was pollen.
I got my thing with my English project grade, and it was alright.
Oh, yeah, I also got a vocab guy back.
16. The fervor of the impact caused the fetus's fead to tear thru his mother's abdomen.
17. The exulting clown received a gift of charred diarrhea from his brother's spaceship to the moon.
18. Mr. Lux glowered at Mark Twain after the b's came and ate a bunch of human embryos.
19. The Chris mutinously kicked the senator in the head, causing him to get a big hug--I didn't stop laughing.
20. The Jesus malevolently ran into the bank and shot three of the hostages, and then he returned home to count the number of undesireable that's in his college essay.
And, oh, I got this marriage plan thing back.
I will marry a Christmas tree. I would want to have all family members in attendance, dead or alive. It would be in a large castle on a cliff, overlooking the Gulf of Jesus. We will join forces and defeat the evil empire. Everyone gets rice crackers and Mountain Dew. Admission will be $35 for adults, $15 for children, and 75 cents (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE CENT SIGN!) for the deceased. Instead of throwing rice at the end part, people will throw exotic animals. At the very end, the tree and I will jump off the cliff and die in each others arms on the rocky beach below, but before we hit the ground, Megan will reach down and grab us and throw up into the sky, where we will live in a city in the clouds happily ever after.
Good.
I'm glad it's done.
I ran today.
Not very long.
But I did run.

This has got to be the longest blog post ever.