Hammertime

I've had very little time to sleep lately, thanks to some asshole. It all started about a week ago, when I decided I would start reading the Hunter S. Thompson books given to me to read by a close friend: Stefan (the asshole). I can't clearly remember the last time I was so hooked into a book that I found myself waking up early to read. There have been numerous occasions where I have stayed up all night (or all day) to read, but I'd never prematurely risen from bed to do it. Sleeping is nearly my favorite thing to do, and I hate stopping it when I don't have to. That should tell you how bad the situation has become.

Had become.

The situation is now over. I am both relieved and saddened. I've read more in the past week than I have the rest of the year (divided by seventeen). If this confuses you, it's only because I have failed to mention the many other works I have read this week as well. And I will continue to fail to do so.
Here we see the asshole with his hot out-of-the-oven bride, or, as I like to call her, Sam Gambrel.





Kingdom of Fear immediately took a hold on my mind. After reading the first page, I knew I was about to lose sleep. There was no way around it. With work and beating off, I just didn't have time for both constant reading and sleep. I had to not have one. IT wasn't a hard choice to make; the book pretty much made the choice for me. It reminds me of the time I read some Tucker Max. You know what I'm talking about: "I hate my table." It clicked just like that.

Block paragraphs.

I had trouble tell at times what was real and what was kinda real (or, I should say, kinda not real). When the Judge came into the scene, I immediately wondered if I was reading pure fiction. It was the only time I got that feeling during the book. I'm sure some or most of it might have been based on actual happenings--we are talking about HST, after all.

Overall, I'd give the book a ten out of five. The only problem I had was not having my own copy to paint. I sent my cousin, Deanna, to fetch me my own many times, all to no avail.

Screwjack was second on the list. It was the only book I was able to put down as fast as I picked it up, only because that's how long it was. It was touching, but felt like what it had would have worked better if it was divided and archived with other works, like the Leach story. I'm not saying it wasn't of worth, but that it was over before you could enjoy it. Like a premature orgasm without the embarrassment.

I immediately went from Screwjack into the first 100 pages of Better than Sex. That was just the other day. I finished the second half earlier today. It offered a somewhat different experience compared to the other books. It was pure politics. Amazing stories. I learned a lot about politicians I'm sure I wouldn't have found anywhere else. It exposed a lot of the players and made them seem more like real people than the fictitious characters they appear to be on TV.

If I had to give the books a label, I would call them inspiring. Taking control of ones life seems possible through the examples of Dr. Thompson. I most likely wouldn't be writing a new blog post if it weren't for him (or the asshole who lost many hours of my sleep time).

'Til next time. Mahalo...nigga!

Long Time, No Shit

I haven't written in here for awhiles, because I don't use my computer for anything but a CD player these days. Writing would be much easier to do if Nintendo would release a goddamn Wiiboard. Anyway, I hope one of these places give me a job, because I'm bored as shit and ready to move on.

I want someone to teach me how to sail.

If there was more time, I would be more happy with time wasted, but this isn't the case.

Shelbyville's library sucks balls.

Stefan and I went to Chicago with his dad the other day. It was my first time there, and it was good. The weather wasn't that great, yet I felt as though it was great enough. Make sense?
So we took the tour and took his dad to the airport. We got back to town and . . .

that's all.

Toothpaste & Diarrhea

I was watching Neil deGrasse Tyson promote his new book on BookTV tonight. He spoke of black holes and asteroids and water and death. I liked pretty much everything he had to say. He suggested we look up an article he had written tat didn't quite make it into the book by means of a quick Google search. I responded, "You seem like my kind of fuck. Yes, I will look up your article using my local Google search engine." I typed the words he suggested, and there it was--top of the shit. I clicked on the result and read. It was a short but interesting read on spherical shapes in the universe. Though, it seems like you would not assume I meant spherical shapes outside the universe; therefore, please disregard my saying, "in the universe." If you are the type of person who shows interest in the universe and enjoys discussing such things over some beers, feel free to read Tyson's article: On Being Round.

On a much lighter note, I may have found a job in the unattainable portion of the temp community production possibilities frontier. If I were to get this job, I would no longer have to break up with my girlfriend; instead, I could afford to simply kill her.

Mozilla finally released an updated version of its Firefox 2 model. Security flaws were fixed, but more importantly, my copy and paste problem was put right. You can update your browser by going to getfirefox.com, but I don't know why anyone would want to to that when all he or she would need to do is select "Check for updates..." in the help menu in the Firefox browser.

If you are a video game enthusiast, or if you've become like me, a technology and business enthusiast, you could check out Nexgen Wars dot com. The website lets the consumer (or non-consumer) vote for which of the three next generation video game consoles they would expect to win round seven of the ever going console wars. Normally I would care less about such a situation, but this time it's personal. You see, in the past, there has always been multiple consoles for me to care about. The Atari competed against masturbation. Both all right choices. The NES had the SNES. The SNES had the Genesis. The N64 had the Dreamcast. The Dreamcast had the PS2. The PS2 did not have the Gamecube (although the Gamecube was a fair enough choice). All of these were tremendous choices, except for the Atari (and all the other ones that were not masturbation). Normally, I would still have my two choices in the argument: Sony v. Nintendo (due to my dislike of Microsoft, they will never make a good enough anything for me, unless it's masturbation . . . or parenthesis), but this time it's personal. I at one time in my life thought Sony was cool--thought Sony was my friend. But sadly, Sony fucked me over one too many time (one time). I would now love to see Sony crash and burn. Now, try to imagine my rage at reading the professional market outcome predictors' predictions that the PS3 will ultimately win the war. I killed seven of my twelve hostages that day. End the end, it will be up to the consumer to decide, and so far, the consumer chooses the Wii at over 50 percent of the vote.

Keep in mind the 360 has not only been out for fifteen months while the other two have only been out three since first release, but it also attributes half (blatant lie, total exaggeration, I made it up) its sales to people replacing faulty models. I feel sorry for this guy.

I don't meant to make it sound like I'm a hard-core video gamer. I'm not. I might have been at one time. I spend maybe three hours a month playing video games (if I'm lucky). My day is mostly comprised of reading the news (up to two hours a day), lifting weights, maybe running, studying economics, studying anything and reading anything good. I didn't even know the Wii was capable of playing video games. Up until last night, I thought is was just an interactive TV program/computer. I spent my hours reading news on the news channel, checking up on the weather on the weather channel, checking my Myspace and Gmail and watching Google Video/Youtube videos on the internet channel, practicing my right to vote on the everybody votes channel, downloading new channels and video games I never play on the virtual console channel, and redesigning photographs on the photo channel. Come to think of it, I've never ever heard of such a thing as a video game. What is a video game anyway? I don't even know.

Now that I've got it in my head, I like to discuss this everybody votes channel. On its surface, it seems very shallow. You vote in polls composed of silly little questions. That's the silly part. But if one were to tether a heavy stone to one of the restraining hostages feet, that person would find that this is a much deeper lake. After picking one of two responses to a question, the user gets the option to predict which response will get the most votes. After the votes are counted, the Mii (the user's pawn) gets a score. After finding the results of so many polls, the system will be able to show the user where he or she is lacking in mental growth based on right or wrong predictions and the type of questions he or she makes predictions on. So far, I a fucking genius in every aspect.

My love affair with this machine isn't ill-founded. I have frown to love growth. The opportunities to learn are endless with the Wii. The other options in this field offer nothing like this. Their boxes should be labeled "No expansion necessary!" It's just more of the same. Even if you don't enjoy video games, it's something you should have. Even when it isn't on, I have so much fun pretending the remote is a gun. It feels so good to give that trigger a squeeze.

I lift weight and run enough for neither to make me sore, no matter how long I do or don't do either one. Thanks to my Wii, I spent ten minutes boxing in front of my TV the other day, and I couldn't move the next morning. No bull.

On that note, I'd like to bring up the fact that I hate not being in school. If I had the funding, I would always be studying everything any old genius can enemize me with. Thanks to the system, that reality has become a very large virtual reality. I wish I could at least live in a university community. That way I could find the professor bars, drink with the professors, discuss issues with the professors, and get a much cheaper education with the benefit of studying one-on-one with the professors.

Please send me money. I've grown to love economics and computers, and my learning potential keeps growing.


I'd be lying if I were to say that I haven't been quite affected by death of late. To start off, my great-great-aunt died. That didn't affect me so much, but it did introduce me to some new family. I'd say my family tree sprouted a second trunk that day. It was a trunk I didn't want to be associated with, but it was a trunk nonetheless.

DeWayne Saylor was a kick-ass guy I hung out with this one time in middle school. We started out hanging out separately at the same movie theater, but became more hanging out in the same group as the night progressed. The movie was Saving Silverman. He left th movie and came back with some Twizzlers, which he offered to everyone, even me, a guy he didn't know. We were all on our way to Cagney's after the movies like so many other time, and as we waited for traffic to stop at the intersection, he passed through. The traffic never seemed to slowed down or part for him, yet he made it through, unharmed. The seating arrangement was Kylie Dickmann and some other people at one table; Jake Miller, DeWayne, Stefan and myself at another table; and Jeff Lee and some people on the horizon. The fat waitress would walk by, and DeWayne would act like there was an earthquake. After awhile, Stefan and DeWayne walked over to Speedway to get Kylie some Tic-tacs. Stefan came back with Tic-tacs and Dewayne came back with a huge-ass flashlight. And that's all I remember. I regret not knowing him better.

I heard from Stephanie Mae on our way to Taco Bell that my good friend, Jake Hargrove, had passed away as the result of a car accident the night before. I can't be sure it's true just yet, but I've seen enough evidence on Myspace to feel he is really no longer with us. I knew Jake pretty well. I hadn't really seen him much lately, but we sure did hang out quite a bit during school in my younger days, mainly during recess hours at Loper. I remember in fourth grade, we had to read to the first graders in Mrs. Meredith's class. During one of these outings, Jake got on the Mac in the back of the room, where we were both supposed to be reading to kids, and fucked around with all sorts of shit. This probably wouldn't be all that funny today (he wasn't doing anything damaging), but back then, we didn't know anything about what was going on. All we knew was we weren't allowed to fuck with the computers, or some serious shit would go down. I laughed so hard I cried, watching Jake fuck around with that shit. He was the first person I ever saw with a CD player. He had it out at recess. I was surprised to see how fast the CD was spinning. It was like a record player on crack. The rest of my life is mostly a blur up until the point where we had all sorts of fun in study hall. My most favorite memory from that time is of Jake feeding me Pop-tarts and wiping the crumbs off my face in a very homosexual way and the pregnant study hall lady getting pissed off in the process. She seemed to be pissed off a lot. I think it was because she was pregnant. I remember she'd get really pissed when Jake would start pulling the string from his sweatshirt hood through his numerous holes. That was neat too. I regret not hanging out with Jake more. We never partied together. That's why everyone needs to get outside and get laid right now. I'll miss you big time, Jake. And if you aren't really dead, I'll miss you someday.








I decided to skip a few lines, because I still have things to write about, but no transition.

After my aunt's funeral, I got to know my cousins, Cody, Ashley, and I want to say Paul. I also made everyone laugh and love me. I talked to the Aunt Betty and the Uncle Tom about their boys. Ate. Hugged everyone before leaving. It was a good time on all accounts.

I guess I'll make this it then.

Everyone should read Freakonomics if they haven't yet. There is even a bigger and expandeder version out now. Feel free to pick up a copy.

I Had Another Day

I woke up today. I finished some Tucker Max delectables. Kylie called me. I got a hair cut.

Kylie pretending to know how to read.

Kylie pretending to know how to cut hair.

I got some of my old socks from Stefan and left my present socks there.

Carson Daly, NV

So here's the dill.

Man, I like Firefox.

I finally got through all of my emells. Feel free to emell me anytimes nah.

I was bored yesterday, so I decided to invite people to use Google Talk with me. I thought at the time that you wouldn't need Gmail to use it, but I was wrong. That's a good thing, because now all the people I invited can join Gmail. Go ahead and give yourselves a pat on the back.

I didn't go to bed two nights ago, because the seniors wanted me to come cook out with them in the Shelbyville Senior High School parking lot.

I went to bed later that day, after watching a program on Harry Houdini on The History Channel. Well, I also went to imdb.com to check up on Kingdom Hearts II voice actors and ended up drawing some lines between "Drawn Together" and Final Fantasy X.

I slept for only about five hours yesterday, and then I was tired. I went to Stefan's dad's house (if you can believe that happy crappy) to hang out with some people. Clinton the Coffey maker came over, and I went with him and his girlfriend to a place to get a drink (Pepsi). We came back and had a good time. Some guys wanted to see my penis because they had heard rumors that it wasn't really as big as people say it is. They believed it when they saw me pull it down to my knee.

I ended up leaving that bunch, because I was hungry. I had no money, and no one would buy me a taco if I were to have driven them to Taco Bell. I went home and had some noodles, meatloaf, pop-tarts things, some shit and some other people.

I read a little while I sat sat on the toilet, and then I warshed my face and went to bed. I would have taken a shower, but I had to get up rill early to call Elwood to talk about my job offer.

So I guess it was about four o' the clock when I got in my bed. I couldn't sleep, and I'm not sure if I ever did. I got up at 7:45 a.m. I watched some cartoons, and then gave the Elwoods a call at 8:05 a.m. I go in tomorrow for initiation or lubrication or whatever it is. It should be good. I'm going to be building transmissions for lawn mowers or some stupid shit. I'm pretty excited about that. I don't know what the word is on blogging about my job, but I hope it gets me fired.

So, after my phone call with the lady, I tried to sleep. I ended up playing Kingdom Hearts II while I was in bed. Then I tried to sleep again--didn't work. I sat up and made my dad make me some breakfast. Then I downloaded some things.

I had to stop my last download, because goddamn Limewire was slowing my shit down so much.

It got really windy awhiles back and made my room cold. The thunder caused Oreo to take shelter under my bed, where he resides to this day. But it's pretty nice out, I must say.

I tried reading a few minutes ago, but I only got a few pages in before I started shutting down.

The Da Vinci Code got some pretty terrible reviews. I'm thinking about not seeing it now. I don't like shitty movies based on good books. I like shitty movies, but I don't like them making a good book look bad. I don't think I've ever liked a Ron Howard film, but Dan Brown assured me this one would be good. I just don't know anymore. This was kinda neat (gay), though.

Well, I think I'm gonna start getting ready.

1. Get ready.
2. Lift.
3. Eat.
4. Shower.
5. Go to bed.
6. Get the fuck out of here.

Googol

David Vice is speaking about his book, "The Google Story" on Book TV on C-SPAN2 right about now. This guy is pretty much awesome. I've been a huge fan of Google for a few years now. I'm always going to Google Labs to see what's new for me to download and what I can play with, but this guy knows a lot, and I really wanna work for Google now. I'm going to have this book one way or another. My birthday is coming up in just over eleven months, so keep that in mind.

I spent a great deal of time at Stefan's yessirday. I had been playing Gran Turismo 2, and then I wrote a blog, and then Stefan called me and told me to come over. I ended up watching a special on Chris Farley on E! before going. When that was over, I decided to take my sister and some of her friends to her boyfriend (Cole)'s house. Then I went to pick up Adam Gaudin. I talked to them peoples, then Adam and I went to my house so I could return the trimmer to my dad and go potty.

Once at Stefan's, I talked to his dad, Goran, for just a little while, and then we met Jordan and shot around. MeLiSsAB 055 showed up and we all hung out. We went inside and watched a great deal of season six. People came and went during this period, and then I had to take Adam home. I went home and ate spaghetti. I got my you-know-what and went to Stefan's house to drink it. I shared some with this one chick. I can never remember her name. Then Stefan and I drank and smoked and ate and talked for hours and watched videos and talked to Audrey and then I went home hours later listening to Ignition. It is a short drive between our houses, but I wanted to listen to the CD a whole lot, so I drove around for awhile. I got home and read a chapter from V for Vendetta then I took a shower and went to bed with Gatorade in my belly and shit.

My brother woke me up a few times, because he likes to sleep with the phone. He also is on my computer 24/7. He likes pissing me off. Kill him for me. I am on my computer right now. He finally got up. So I eventually grabbed the phone, and put it in the hall.

I went back to sleep and got up at 2:30 p.m. I played Kingdom Hearts for a few hours and here I am, watching Boyz N the Hood. Goodbye.

Bride of Chuck Norris

If Chuck Norris died and ended up in a doll, we'd all be fucked.

Chuck Norris is most likely the most popular 65-year-old on Earth right now. Carlos Ray was born March 10, 1940 in the small town of Ryan, Oklahoma. He is a blackbelt in Tang Soo Do as well as everything else you can think of. He is a 6-time World Karate Champion and was on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" last night.

He traded Chuck Norris knowledge with everyone.

Everyone laughed and had a good time.

He has the whitest, most beautiful smile.

When the show was over, he killed everyone--even Stefan's black wife.

Finding Emo

The title comes from a good convo I had with my good friend last night. I'm gonna put it in my other blog when I'm done with this.

I'm home for Christmas. My mom says she wants to take back some of the gifts she got me, because she found out I don't believe in God. This had got to be at least the eighth time she's found out. I don't know why she has to be such an idiot.

I went Christmas shopping with Stephanie and Emily the other night. I saw a lot of people there.





I left my retainer at school. I hope I'll be alright.
I get to start taking creatine again today. I'm excited about that.

Fuck SNL. It isn't funny anymore. I don't watch it anymore unless there is going to be someone good hosting. It would be a lot better if it was just that person. Cane Cook and Jack Black are much funnier than they look on goddamn SNL. There are only a few castmembers who are funny. The rest just suck. Most of the skits they do are just fucking stupid and need to be rid of. If we kill everyone who sucks on the show, and replace them with dancing Nintendo controllers, we'd be in good shape. I'm just saying.

I went to a swim meet yesterday. It was really early in the morning, and I didn't want to get up early, so I just didn't go to bed. There is a really sexy girls swim team this year. I'd have to say Nathan is the sexiest of them all. It was a good meet with lots of laughs and sluts.


Brandon sat here with Stefan once before.

After the stuff happened, we looked at the constructions of the high school.
The library.

Stefan and Nick Allen.

The hallway and student center.

Library. The computers used to be along that wall.

Here is the little room where the Mexicans used computers.

Student Center

Monkey Bars

Wall

Hole on east side of student center.


Well, that's all I really care to talk about. Except for telling Rob to give Aaron Cherry the benefit of the fist in the jaw when he was simply considering to give him the benefit of the doubt when he decided to be sick all week.

Karma Po-lice

Well, I went into my room to unhook my internets, and I noticed the CPU was on top of the 2wire mini modem thing, and it was hot. All I did was move that guy out, and then the phone worked. I called Stefan, and he and Dane was on they way o'er here. They got here, and then I drove ourselves over to Karma. The first thing I bought was a roller for cigarettes. Cigarettes are female cigars. That means if a guy smokes cigarettes, he's a pussy. After that, I saw Justin Schmitt and bought three Fall Out Boy CD's. (Is that right? I don't remember all of the apostrophe rules.) I eventually made my way back home, where I tried to call Audrey. That didn't work out so well. I guess she doesn't like to have her phone out at the golf places, where she works all day and night--give someone else a chonce. I listened to my new Fall Out Boy disks while I got on the internets and bought two Fall Out Boy CD's, an Offspring dual-disc, and an Offspring DVD. Then I purchased the Fall Out Boy fanclub kit thing. Then my dad came home and then we got some pizza. And then I watched "That 70's Shit." I am very tired. UPN is addictive.

Kylie and Ashley double-you came over here yesterday. I gave Kylie her card and birthday present. I got them right before they came over. They laughed pretty hard at the card and the gifts. Then we all went into my room to watch Kinsey on DVD. Then they left. I drew a smiley face on my penis and went with my brother to get some physicals. We got to the doctor place and we kept punching each other in the face. The nurse was freaking out about it, but we just laughed. I read the whole eye chart with my right eye. It took about ten minutes to do it. My brother and I were laughing the whole time, and when I did read it, it was with my left eye, clearly looking between my fingers. I also peed on my hand and on the floor, just like I did at school that one time when I was taking a drug test. We went to McDonald's after the facts, and I think that's about all I did that day.

Nick Haehl

I went to bed at 10 p.m. yesterdays. I wanted to sleep until about 10 a.m. today. I over-shot my goal by about five hours. I woke up a little after 3 p.m. That makes it about 17 hours of sleep, which beats my old record of 14.5 hours a couple of weeks ago. It was hard for me to stand up when I got out of bed, and I was out of breath by the time I got to my parents' computer. I kept ending up back in my bed as my brother kept playing Soul Asylum on my computer. He finally stopped that shit and started playing something stupid (that's what he usually listens to--Britney Spears or something), and I was able to eat my Little Debbie Fudge Brownies. I started writing this blog at about 3:48. It is now 4:34, and I'm listening to "Save Me" by Unwritten Law. You see, I slept for 17 hours, and I'm now having trouble sitting still. I keep getting up and jumping around. That's about why it's taking me so long to do this.

I was supposed to call Stefan when I got up so we could watch Seven together. I just realized I have the ability to change the color of my text. I also need to call Audrey Brown to tell her. The problem is, the phone says the line is already in use, and the phone just makes a farting sound when you pick it up. We first had this problem when I got internet capabilities in my room. I think my internet might be the reason for this interference, even though it's not supposed to be doing that shit to me. If I had my cell phone, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but I never called that cell phone place back, and now it seems I never will. Oh well. This sentence is blue.

P.S. I really like Soul Asylum. If I still had that link about their bass guy dying, I would put it in here. But I don't have it, so you'll never see it.

Daring to Try, to Do it or Die, I Gotta Be Dead

Friday:

I took my AP bio final. I then went to AP bio. Then I went with some of the squib people to breakfast. Then I went back to school to work on my page. Then I went home. Then I went to the track sectional. Then I ran a PR in the 4x800. I ran a 2:18.Then I went potty. Then I went to Taco Bell with Audrey, Jen, Chrissy, and Ashley Woolen. Then Eric Byrer and some foreigners showed up. Then we were all gonna go to my house, and then I went there, and everyone else just kinda decided to not show up. Then I ended up going to play basketball ( me, Stefan, Jon/Josh, Stephanie, and Matt). I kinda just stood there for a while, thinking about stuff. I spent a lot of the time looking a the tree behind the basketball goal, imagining seeing myself hanging from it. It made me feel a little better to see that the world would still be there even if I was dead. Then I took Stephanie home. Then I went to pick Stefan up from his house. Then I helped him look for his Team America: World Police special edition unrated version DVD. Then we watched the movie. Then I had some pizza, and then I went to bed.


Saturday:

I did nothing, and then I went to the movie theater and did some fun things for about and hour. Then Tyler and I shook hands. Then I went to Jim Peck's house. After a while, I drove by Adam Barlow's house to see if he was around, and then I went to the Schmitts' house, and I broke some dumb broad's back. I ate some things. We exchanged stories, then Eric Byrer left. It was about one a.m. by this time, and Justin told me he was going to bed at two. We went out into the one room, and we discussed Stephen King and some other things. Then he offered to lend me his Donnie Darko The Director's Cut DVD. I looked at the clock, and it was a little after three. I was quite surprised by this, us talking so long. It reminded me of the time last summer when I went over to the Schmitts' house and was talking to Justin and Matt Baker and ended up leaving at three a.m. So, I went home and had some pizza and took a shower, and then I went to bed at about 4:30.


Sunday:

I woke up at about 1. I had some pizza for breakfast. I went over to the Gahimers' to watch Donnie Darko. They said it was stupid, and it pissed me off. I hate when people label something they don't understand as stupid. I was pissed off even further when Stephanie turned the TV to a movie that was stupid and pretended it was something special. I went home at this point, because my head was starting to act up. I took some pills when I got home, and then I watched Donnie Darko with my brother. Then I ate some Pizza. Then I went back to the Gahimer place to watch "Family Guy." Luckily, Fox decided to play fucking stupid-ass Star Wars, so I watched "Desparate Housewives" instead. Rex died. I guess he won't having anymore problems with crying when he ejaculates. Then I watched some more TV (Bam and Rosanne). Then I went home and called Amanda. I woke her ass right up and exchanged stories with her. Then I did some more things, and that's about it.

Tom

This post is far from done.




Hi. I'm Blaire. This is a picture of me about eight months ago. I am holding some awards I got for my accomplishments throughout the cross country season. I am not that small anymore. I now have a nice layer of class-4 armor. My hair is now a great deal shorter as well.




That's my brother, Brandon Kyle, on the left with his tennis participation award. We are lying on the cafeteria floor at our school.




I'm here with my family.




Blaire, Alex Miller, Zach Fox, done running the race guy, good job.




Coach man was quite proud of us that day.




Stephanie and I were supposed to dance, but Stephanie acted like she needed to talk to me about something, and she just said that because she didn't want to dance, because she can't dance, so we just sat down, and she started talking about some stupid shit, and Lindsay Conner took a picture and gave it to me at school the following week.




I got this guy and a keychain. And guess what. I didn't even want one of those fuckin XXXXXXXXXXL t-shirts, so suck my balls.




I was counting some tallying some freshman survey stuff for Audrey Brown in squib (our school's yearbook) the other day, and I came across this guy. I thought it was pretty funny. Do you see it? It's funny.




This is from the senior packet we had to fill out for squib. Every senior was asked to fill one of these out. I had to make some adjustments to mine before turning it in, so I decided to scan it before i did so, so I could always remember it how it was. The answers I put. I would have gotten in trouble for having them on there. No joke. I kick ass.




Wesley Flemming. Now, there's a character. You probably won't get what is so great about this one unless you know Wesley. As a matter of fact, I saw the responses on this and thought is seemed like Wesley material. I was not at all surprised when I looked at the top of the paper and saw his name. Wesley is a very small little bitch. He has a wonderfully dry sense of humor. I could go on for days, but no.




This beautiful piece of art should really be closer to the top.

So, we were in AP bio the other day, dissecting pig hearts and stuff. While everyone was hard at work, I was fingerpainting...with pig blood. It was fun as shit. I showed it to many people. Most were scared. All were happy to know how awesome I was.




Cross Country Camp, Summer 2003. That is Zack Attack on the left. Jon Lee is in the middle, while I am on the right with my really short hair. You need to recca-nize.

Correction: This picture is from the state track meet we went--it's so fucking hot, I wish my parents believed in air conditioning--to, because Sean Hudson ran and finished fourth (?) in the 1600. He was seeded seventh and we caught about 800 cicaidas in a bottle. They died later on. I kept the bottle in my room, and it started to expand over time. Stefan came over and twisted the lid in my room, and it made the whole house smell like shit. My dad later threw the bottle away. This picture takes place about two years after my original claim. Sorry for the mix-down.



Do you guys remember this? Sectional. Stephanie came. She was just plain bad luck.

I just thought of something funny:

-do you have an umbrella?
-yeah, let me get it

I spent most of my time over there, talking about Lees and their penises and other good stuff.

Danny Nuthak bought Stephanie some popcorn, and they fell in love and had sex on the bleachers.




I ran. Josh is over there too.

Beat your Track

Um. Well.


Late Saturday night, Stefan and I went over to Stephanie's house. This was after I made out with Eric Voss. Justin Cory had also delivered a pizza here. "Okay, back to the bitches." We went over there, and we didn't know what the situation was with the sleeping and such, so we decided to go around back to let Stephanie know we were there.

Bad idea.

We went around front, and I knocked three times. Jessica came out and demanded that we come in. Stephanie threw a fit, and she said Amnityville. Things got way better with the nacautica and the...fuck...what else?...shit...something about semi-trucks and that's all I can remember right now. Stefan and I decided to take Stephanie to her sister's place on the west side. Stephanie didn't give me good directions, so we got lost quite a few times. We finally made it, and Stephanie seemed pissed off about something. We took off from there, and I drove right across the grassy plains. That was fun as shit. After that, we went back to my house, and Stefan got his car, and I got his cellular, and I followed him to his house, and I got in his car, and we went to the middle school and burnt some shit out in the grass, and then we went back to his house, and Susan and Ashley Woolen and Tom Bonehead came over, and I read some stories to them, and we all had a good laugh, and then Susan told us the story of her lesbian, and then Shotaro and Bryce came over, and we all hanged out for a little while, and then I went to my home, and then I did some stuff there, and then I called Amanda, and it was, like, 3:30 A.M., and she is an hour in the future now, so it was about 4:30 A.M. by her watch, and we talked for a pretty long time, and then she got in bed and sounded tired and started speaking some crazy jibberish, so I hung up on her ass, and then I did some more stuff, and then I went to bed.

My mother woke me up a few times the next day so she could get me to go to my grandparents' house for mother's [or is it mothers'? (or is it mothers?)] day, and I was gonna go, but Stefan came over and wanted me to run with him, and then I made a horrible mistake, and my day ended up being ruined, so I pretty much just laid in my bed after that, but I did get up a few times to do stuff, and then I had to go to (censored) to get some poster-board for my government project. That shit took forever. But the new Family Guy was on and it was pretty sweet. I was the only one in my family who got the Vincent Van Gogh joke. I explained it to my dad, and he laughed. That's all for that day. Wait! It isn't. One more thing. Final Fantasy Anthology came with a CD with all of the great scores from Final Fantasy V and VI. There are some beautiful pieces of Super Nintendo music on that guy, and I forgot all about it for the longest time, and it brought back many wonderful memories.

I went back to school today. It was gay as fuck. We took the AP Bio test (the AP test), and I was awesome, but I can't tell you what I did, because that would be illegal. Mr. Lux bought us all snickerses for our break, and that was nice. After all of that, I went to fitness, where I benched a lot of shit. Everyone was impressed.

We're doing this debate project in English, and my group is pro-choice. I found this place with some pro-choice slogans on the internet, and one of them is really good and I like it:

"Hey George, Stay out of My Bush!"

Anyway, I really liked that one.

I did find a bunch of pictures of aborted fetuses last week. That was pretty sweet.

We had a big meet in Franklin today. I ran the last leg of the 4x800, and we were already so far behind, that I decided not to be so serious about it. Right off the bat, I was skipping around, and then I was yelling at the Lees and Pierson, and then at the end of my second and final lap, I tried to pass the baton to Tate, and he didn't take it, and my split was 2:28, which is 9 seconds slower than the 2:19 I ran in fitness the other day. My best time in a meet at this point is 2:23. Stephanie and Emily showed up and tried to take advantage of Sam. Luckily, I was there to save him. We all went up to the place and said hey to everyone and Stephanie kept flirting with my dad. I later ran the 800 and did it in 2:20. My best time ever in a meet (my already best time ever is 2:18, set by me in fitness a long time ago this year) was right there. I went back up to sit with Stephanie and Emily, and my grandparents gave me some grape Gatorade, and it was good. Sam was way ahead of Stefan and Alex in the 3200, and Emily was gonna go out with him if he won, but Stefan beat him by like this much and it was a good race. Alex got way behind because he has a hernia, and he had sex with Kristen. At the end, we all went down to talk to Derek (sp?) Atwood (?) and Danny Nuthak, and Stephanie fell in love with Danny again, but she was afraid to touch him.

We all went home, and Stefan saw Cheesy walking in Franklin, and I wanted to drive Krissy's new stupid-ass Beatle, but the dumb bitch wouldn't let me, and then I found out where Ani lives, and then I went home for some McDonald's, and here I am.

Wait.

I told Sam he should touch Stephanie's boobies, and he said it would be sexual assault, and I told him she was an illegal immigrant and there was nothing she could do, and that's all there is to that story.

Shit. I just realized how early we got back. Damn.

Drater Socks

I found my Team America: World Police soundtrack and my Limp Bizkit "Significant Other" CD under some shit yesterday. I was very happy. Stefan and I went to his house, and we saw Lisa and her friend on their bikes. We ate some stuff at his house, and then we went to Terre Haute to see Zach Attack at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. We went swimming in the icyness of the pond, and then I said hi to Nick McNeeeleyyte. He didn't seem to know me. We went to some places and stuff. Adam Feutz: Hey, Blair? Blair: Absolutely. It was my eighteenth birthday, so I went ahead and bought some Newports and a Black & Mild. I had fun walking around and being legal. We went up to the place in the woods, and I some really hot ash in my eye. It was alright, that was a bad eye anyway. While we were eating our food--fuck it. That's for an audioblog, yes? Just like that. We went. Some shitty rum. It did the trick, though. It almost did the trick. It did a little bit. At the end, and we left, wait, the guy with Adam Feutz. I don't know who the hell he is. Black guys do fucking crazy things when you hand them vaginas. We ate with Zach one last time. I have left out a few things. It's for the best. I don't want Jesus seeing certain things. You can ask Stefan. He was there. He threw the bottle out the window. We made good time. I got a card and a computer and a printer/scanner from my parents for my birthday.

Here is a list of people who remembered my birthday:

Amanda Brundage
Kylie Dickmann
Stephanie Gahimer
Judith Lynn
Grandma
Some Guy (I don't know)

I wasn't home to talk to these people when they called:

Amanda Brundage
Kylie Dickmann
Some Guy (I don't know)

People who called Stefan on his birthday:

Not Kylie Dickmann


People who forgot my birthday:


People I still love more than Jesus loves his taffy:


Andrew, it's been a long time:


I saw Nance, too. Brandon Nance. I shook his hand, and we had a small chat:

This Shit's Fast Now...Ah Yeeah

Stefan: I put my other ball in my pocket so I wouldn't lose it.
Blair: I've got one ball in my pocket, and the other one is smoking a cigarette.

Stefan: Yeah. I was that much AHEAD of you.
Alex: Blair, if you would've had an erection, you would've beaten him.
Blaire: Yeah, I could've just pole-vaulted that last stretch.

Blaire: Hey, Shannon is running.
Stefan: Yeah.
Blair: I hope she can count laps.
Stefan: Haha.
Bleward: Haha.

One of the Parents: Alex.
Blaire: It's because he's a dick.
Will Brunner's Mom: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Blair: Hey.
Stefan: Fuck you.
Blair: Fuck you.
Stefan: ...

Mr. Lux: We're studying plants.
Blair: Is that what we're studying?
Mr. Lux: No. We're studding animals.
Blair: Oh.
Mr. Lux: ...

Stefan: It's not a frog, it's an amphibian...fuck you!

Come to Think of it, I don't have Any Rolls

Yesterday, we had a swim meet against Warren Central. We won. When we were done swimming, Felps dircted my attention toward a girl sitting way up in the bleachers. I couldn't see her very well (she was facing the other direction and talking on her cell phone), but Felps assured me she had big boobies, so I told him we should just stand there and stare at her. We did that for a little while, and then we walked over to the diving area. We talked to Tyty for just a little while, and then I happened to look back at the bleachers. There I saw my mom, standing behind that one girl, waving at us, so I said, "Hey guys, let's pretend to wave at my mom, but really be doing it to that chick up there, that way no one will ever know." We waved, and my mom tapped the girl on the shoulder, and then pointed to us and then we went into the locker room. On our way out of the school, I waved to the girl and said goodbye, and then we came back to Shelbyville. A little after ten, I went over to Stefan's house, where we watched Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas. My dad called about ten minutes into the movie, because I had left my house without telling anyone, and he was quite confused. I told him that Stefan and I were watching a porno, and that it'd be done it five minutes. He then said, "Alright, well, I'll see you in about ten minutes." The movie ended about one point five seven hours later, and I got home at a little bit past twelve. The movie was good, and I would highly recommend watching it.

I played tag in the locker room after swim practice today. I later sat down and discovered something amazing, but I'm never gonna tell anyone about it, because it is totally inappropriate.

Weekend Nipple Pinchy

Friday at swim practice, Stefan and Sam kept splashing me. They kept splashing me until I jumped on Sam and punched him in the head five or six times. Coach called us out of the pool. We all went into the locker room and he asked us what the hell it was all about. I told him what happened, and he smiled. He yelled at Sam, and then we went back out, and he yelled at everyone else. Very well.

I got up really early Saturday morning and went to swim practice. It was pretty stupid. I got home then I decided to call Stephanie, and she told me about her hanging out with Stefan. It felt good to know my plan to get them back together worked out.

Today, Sunday, I watched What Women Want and Serendipity and that's all I did and I'm done.