So, I've been reading a lot about the problems Dell has been facing of late. Sales have been down. CEO step down. CEO come back. So, to curve the latest Dell hatin' trends, Dell has been letting the customers make suggestions. I believe Dell might have expected people to ask for lower prices; maybe an English-speaking customer service staff. They might have found that they bit off a little more than they could chew, swallow, piss right away, and get pregnant as a result when they noticed too many people were demanding this; though, it may be awhile before wee see this type of deal set in stone. It sounds like a great idea to me, being the open source guy I am, but I don't know if I would buy a PC knowing I would only use this. I'd say, if anything, I'd get a Mac and dual boot it with this OS. However, Internet Explorer does seem like a fine browser, but anyone who has used Mozilla Firefox knows there is no comparison. I think it would be great to see PCs come packed with Firefox rather than IE. Either way, I think it's great to see a PC company move away from helping Microsoft create monopolies for itself. And these requests just show how people are looking for just that.
Google's newly released Google Apps., which has been predicted would have trouble competing with Microsoft's more expensive Microsoft Office applications, is showing some good early progress with replacing Microsoft Office in around 100,000 businesses. This is good despite the security (which is actually very good) and offline issues the applications face. Google will no doubt see much more business coming out of this as reluctant companies see more of what Google Apps can do. If you're the kind of person (and not a company) who sees this as some great shit, you can use the free version, Google Docs & Spreadsheets. If you're just looking for a word processor, you might want to check out Corel's new WordPerfect Lightning. If you've never used WordPerfect before, it's a lot like Microsoft Word, but with many more helpful features and will proofread your work like nobody's business. I haven't use the new Lightning version yet, but you go ahead, and I'll just assume it's good. Keep in mind it's still in beta.
This week in stupidity:
Fox News has created its own conservative answer to Comedy Central's "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." The show seems to be doing very poorly due to its audience and the fact that the producer doesn't seem to have ever seen "The Daily Show."
I used to think my Wii was a harmless thing. Other people seemed to think so, too. It was even making decent sales. All of that ended when the Christians showed up.
If you use e-mail, blogs, or anything, please watch out for this.
I've been looking back on my blog for the past twenty seconds, wondering what has happened. Things didn't used to be this way. It didn't take me long to realize that the fact is, all I ever do is fuck and read the news. I realize my lack of readers don't want to hear about my huge, black dick in some bitches ass, so I bring you the news that is important to me. Because, that is all there is left.
Anyway, how are you guys? It's been awhile since we last talked. I'm doing well. I went to the funeral home a few hours ago to see my good friend, Jake. He didn't say a lot.
I got a couple of movies tonight. I'm about to watch one of them. House of 1,000 Corpses, I'd say. I heard it's good.
You guys know any good books out there? I've got plenty of ideas, but I would like some more.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Toothpaste & Diarrhea
I was watching Neil deGrasse Tyson promote his new book on BookTV tonight. He spoke of black holes and asteroids and water and death. I liked pretty much everything he had to say. He suggested we look up an article he had written tat didn't quite make it into the book by means of a quick Google search. I responded, "You seem like my kind of fuck. Yes, I will look up your article using my local Google search engine." I typed the words he suggested, and there it was--top of the shit. I clicked on the result and read. It was a short but interesting read on spherical shapes in the universe. Though, it seems like you would not assume I meant spherical shapes outside the universe; therefore, please disregard my saying, "in the universe." If you are the type of person who shows interest in the universe and enjoys discussing such things over some beers, feel free to read Tyson's article: On Being Round.
On a much lighter note, I may have found a job in the unattainable portion of the temp community production possibilities frontier. If I were to get this job, I would no longer have to break up with my girlfriend; instead, I could afford to simply kill her.
Mozilla finally released an updated version of its Firefox 2 model. Security flaws were fixed, but more importantly, my copy and paste problem was put right. You can update your browser by going to getfirefox.com, but I don't know why anyone would want to to that when all he or she would need to do is select "Check for updates..." in the help menu in the Firefox browser.
If you are a video game enthusiast, or if you've become like me, a technology and business enthusiast, you could check out Nexgen Wars dot com. The website lets the consumer (or non-consumer) vote for which of the three next generation video game consoles they would expect to win round seven of the ever going console wars. Normally I would care less about such a situation, but this time it's personal. You see, in the past, there has always been multiple consoles for me to care about. The Atari competed against masturbation. Both all right choices. The NES had the SNES. The SNES had the Genesis. The N64 had the Dreamcast. The Dreamcast had the PS2. The PS2 did not have the Gamecube (although the Gamecube was a fair enough choice). All of these were tremendous choices, except for the Atari (and all the other ones that were not masturbation). Normally, I would still have my two choices in the argument: Sony v. Nintendo (due to my dislike of Microsoft, they will never make a good enough anything for me, unless it's masturbation . . . or parenthesis), but this time it's personal. I at one time in my life thought Sony was cool--thought Sony was my friend. But sadly, Sony fucked me over one too many time (one time). I would now love to see Sony crash and burn. Now, try to imagine my rage at reading the professional market outcome predictors' predictions that the PS3 will ultimately win the war. I killed seven of my twelve hostages that day. End the end, it will be up to the consumer to decide, and so far, the consumer chooses the Wii at over 50 percent of the vote.
Keep in mind the 360 has not only been out for fifteen months while the other two have only been out three since first release, but it also attributes half (blatant lie, total exaggeration, I made it up) its sales to people replacing faulty models. I feel sorry for this guy.
I don't meant to make it sound like I'm a hard-core video gamer. I'm not. I might have been at one time. I spend maybe three hours a month playing video games (if I'm lucky). My day is mostly comprised of reading the news (up to two hours a day), lifting weights, maybe running, studying economics, studying anything and reading anything good. I didn't even know the Wii was capable of playing video games. Up until last night, I thought is was just an interactive TV program/computer. I spent my hours reading news on the news channel, checking up on the weather on the weather channel, checking my Myspace and Gmail and watching Google Video/Youtube videos on the internet channel, practicing my right to vote on the everybody votes channel, downloading new channels and video games I never play on the virtual console channel, and redesigning photographs on the photo channel. Come to think of it, I've never ever heard of such a thing as a video game. What is a video game anyway? I don't even know.
Now that I've got it in my head, I like to discuss this everybody votes channel. On its surface, it seems very shallow. You vote in polls composed of silly little questions. That's the silly part. But if one were to tether a heavy stone to one of the restraining hostages feet, that person would find that this is a much deeper lake. After picking one of two responses to a question, the user gets the option to predict which response will get the most votes. After the votes are counted, the Mii (the user's pawn) gets a score. After finding the results of so many polls, the system will be able to show the user where he or she is lacking in mental growth based on right or wrong predictions and the type of questions he or she makes predictions on. So far, I a fucking genius in every aspect.
My love affair with this machine isn't ill-founded. I have frown to love growth. The opportunities to learn are endless with the Wii. The other options in this field offer nothing like this. Their boxes should be labeled "No expansion necessary!" It's just more of the same. Even if you don't enjoy video games, it's something you should have. Even when it isn't on, I have so much fun pretending the remote is a gun. It feels so good to give that trigger a squeeze.
I lift weight and run enough for neither to make me sore, no matter how long I do or don't do either one. Thanks to my Wii, I spent ten minutes boxing in front of my TV the other day, and I couldn't move the next morning. No bull.
On that note, I'd like to bring up the fact that I hate not being in school. If I had the funding, I would always be studying everything any old genius can enemize me with. Thanks to the system, that reality has become a very large virtual reality. I wish I could at least live in a university community. That way I could find the professor bars, drink with the professors, discuss issues with the professors, and get a much cheaper education with the benefit of studying one-on-one with the professors.
Please send me money. I've grown to love economics and computers, and my learning potential keeps growing.
I'd be lying if I were to say that I haven't been quite affected by death of late. To start off, my great-great-aunt died. That didn't affect me so much, but it did introduce me to some new family. I'd say my family tree sprouted a second trunk that day. It was a trunk I didn't want to be associated with, but it was a trunk nonetheless.
DeWayne Saylor was a kick-ass guy I hung out with this one time in middle school. We started out hanging out separately at the same movie theater, but became more hanging out in the same group as the night progressed. The movie was Saving Silverman. He left th movie and came back with some Twizzlers, which he offered to everyone, even me, a guy he didn't know. We were all on our way to Cagney's after the movies like so many other time, and as we waited for traffic to stop at the intersection, he passed through. The traffic never seemed to slowed down or part for him, yet he made it through, unharmed. The seating arrangement was Kylie Dickmann and some other people at one table; Jake Miller, DeWayne, Stefan and myself at another table; and Jeff Lee and some people on the horizon. The fat waitress would walk by, and DeWayne would act like there was an earthquake. After awhile, Stefan and DeWayne walked over to Speedway to get Kylie some Tic-tacs. Stefan came back with Tic-tacs and Dewayne came back with a huge-ass flashlight. And that's all I remember. I regret not knowing him better.
I heard from Stephanie Mae on our way to Taco Bell that my good friend, Jake Hargrove, had passed away as the result of a car accident the night before. I can't be sure it's true just yet, but I've seen enough evidence on Myspace to feel he is really no longer with us. I knew Jake pretty well. I hadn't really seen him much lately, but we sure did hang out quite a bit during school in my younger days, mainly during recess hours at Loper. I remember in fourth grade, we had to read to the first graders in Mrs. Meredith's class. During one of these outings, Jake got on the Mac in the back of the room, where we were both supposed to be reading to kids, and fucked around with all sorts of shit. This probably wouldn't be all that funny today (he wasn't doing anything damaging), but back then, we didn't know anything about what was going on. All we knew was we weren't allowed to fuck with the computers, or some serious shit would go down. I laughed so hard I cried, watching Jake fuck around with that shit. He was the first person I ever saw with a CD player. He had it out at recess. I was surprised to see how fast the CD was spinning. It was like a record player on crack. The rest of my life is mostly a blur up until the point where we had all sorts of fun in study hall. My most favorite memory from that time is of Jake feeding me Pop-tarts and wiping the crumbs off my face in a very homosexual way and the pregnant study hall lady getting pissed off in the process. She seemed to be pissed off a lot. I think it was because she was pregnant. I remember she'd get really pissed when Jake would start pulling the string from his sweatshirt hood through his numerous holes. That was neat too. I regret not hanging out with Jake more. We never partied together. That's why everyone needs to get outside and get laid right now. I'll miss you big time, Jake. And if you aren't really dead, I'll miss you someday.
I decided to skip a few lines, because I still have things to write about, but no transition.
After my aunt's funeral, I got to know my cousins, Cody, Ashley, and I want to say Paul. I also made everyone laugh and love me. I talked to the Aunt Betty and the Uncle Tom about their boys. Ate. Hugged everyone before leaving. It was a good time on all accounts.
I guess I'll make this it then.
Everyone should read Freakonomics if they haven't yet. There is even a bigger and expandeder version out now. Feel free to pick up a copy.
On a much lighter note, I may have found a job in the unattainable portion of the temp community production possibilities frontier. If I were to get this job, I would no longer have to break up with my girlfriend; instead, I could afford to simply kill her.
Mozilla finally released an updated version of its Firefox 2 model. Security flaws were fixed, but more importantly, my copy and paste problem was put right. You can update your browser by going to getfirefox.com, but I don't know why anyone would want to to that when all he or she would need to do is select "Check for updates..." in the help menu in the Firefox browser.
If you are a video game enthusiast, or if you've become like me, a technology and business enthusiast, you could check out Nexgen Wars dot com. The website lets the consumer (or non-consumer) vote for which of the three next generation video game consoles they would expect to win round seven of the ever going console wars. Normally I would care less about such a situation, but this time it's personal. You see, in the past, there has always been multiple consoles for me to care about. The Atari competed against masturbation. Both all right choices. The NES had the SNES. The SNES had the Genesis. The N64 had the Dreamcast. The Dreamcast had the PS2. The PS2 did not have the Gamecube (although the Gamecube was a fair enough choice). All of these were tremendous choices, except for the Atari (and all the other ones that were not masturbation). Normally, I would still have my two choices in the argument: Sony v. Nintendo (due to my dislike of Microsoft, they will never make a good enough anything for me, unless it's masturbation . . . or parenthesis), but this time it's personal. I at one time in my life thought Sony was cool--thought Sony was my friend. But sadly, Sony fucked me over one too many time (one time). I would now love to see Sony crash and burn. Now, try to imagine my rage at reading the professional market outcome predictors' predictions that the PS3 will ultimately win the war. I killed seven of my twelve hostages that day. End the end, it will be up to the consumer to decide, and so far, the consumer chooses the Wii at over 50 percent of the vote.
Keep in mind the 360 has not only been out for fifteen months while the other two have only been out three since first release, but it also attributes half (blatant lie, total exaggeration, I made it up) its sales to people replacing faulty models. I feel sorry for this guy.
I don't meant to make it sound like I'm a hard-core video gamer. I'm not. I might have been at one time. I spend maybe three hours a month playing video games (if I'm lucky). My day is mostly comprised of reading the news (up to two hours a day), lifting weights, maybe running, studying economics, studying anything and reading anything good. I didn't even know the Wii was capable of playing video games. Up until last night, I thought is was just an interactive TV program/computer. I spent my hours reading news on the news channel, checking up on the weather on the weather channel, checking my Myspace and Gmail and watching Google Video/Youtube videos on the internet channel, practicing my right to vote on the everybody votes channel, downloading new channels and video games I never play on the virtual console channel, and redesigning photographs on the photo channel. Come to think of it, I've never ever heard of such a thing as a video game. What is a video game anyway? I don't even know.
Now that I've got it in my head, I like to discuss this everybody votes channel. On its surface, it seems very shallow. You vote in polls composed of silly little questions. That's the silly part. But if one were to tether a heavy stone to one of the restraining hostages feet, that person would find that this is a much deeper lake. After picking one of two responses to a question, the user gets the option to predict which response will get the most votes. After the votes are counted, the Mii (the user's pawn) gets a score. After finding the results of so many polls, the system will be able to show the user where he or she is lacking in mental growth based on right or wrong predictions and the type of questions he or she makes predictions on. So far, I a fucking genius in every aspect.
My love affair with this machine isn't ill-founded. I have frown to love growth. The opportunities to learn are endless with the Wii. The other options in this field offer nothing like this. Their boxes should be labeled "No expansion necessary!" It's just more of the same. Even if you don't enjoy video games, it's something you should have. Even when it isn't on, I have so much fun pretending the remote is a gun. It feels so good to give that trigger a squeeze.
I lift weight and run enough for neither to make me sore, no matter how long I do or don't do either one. Thanks to my Wii, I spent ten minutes boxing in front of my TV the other day, and I couldn't move the next morning. No bull.
On that note, I'd like to bring up the fact that I hate not being in school. If I had the funding, I would always be studying everything any old genius can enemize me with. Thanks to the system, that reality has become a very large virtual reality. I wish I could at least live in a university community. That way I could find the professor bars, drink with the professors, discuss issues with the professors, and get a much cheaper education with the benefit of studying one-on-one with the professors.
Please send me money. I've grown to love economics and computers, and my learning potential keeps growing.
I'd be lying if I were to say that I haven't been quite affected by death of late. To start off, my great-great-aunt died. That didn't affect me so much, but it did introduce me to some new family. I'd say my family tree sprouted a second trunk that day. It was a trunk I didn't want to be associated with, but it was a trunk nonetheless.
DeWayne Saylor was a kick-ass guy I hung out with this one time in middle school. We started out hanging out separately at the same movie theater, but became more hanging out in the same group as the night progressed. The movie was Saving Silverman. He left th movie and came back with some Twizzlers, which he offered to everyone, even me, a guy he didn't know. We were all on our way to Cagney's after the movies like so many other time, and as we waited for traffic to stop at the intersection, he passed through. The traffic never seemed to slowed down or part for him, yet he made it through, unharmed. The seating arrangement was Kylie Dickmann and some other people at one table; Jake Miller, DeWayne, Stefan and myself at another table; and Jeff Lee and some people on the horizon. The fat waitress would walk by, and DeWayne would act like there was an earthquake. After awhile, Stefan and DeWayne walked over to Speedway to get Kylie some Tic-tacs. Stefan came back with Tic-tacs and Dewayne came back with a huge-ass flashlight. And that's all I remember. I regret not knowing him better.
I heard from Stephanie Mae on our way to Taco Bell that my good friend, Jake Hargrove, had passed away as the result of a car accident the night before. I can't be sure it's true just yet, but I've seen enough evidence on Myspace to feel he is really no longer with us. I knew Jake pretty well. I hadn't really seen him much lately, but we sure did hang out quite a bit during school in my younger days, mainly during recess hours at Loper. I remember in fourth grade, we had to read to the first graders in Mrs. Meredith's class. During one of these outings, Jake got on the Mac in the back of the room, where we were both supposed to be reading to kids, and fucked around with all sorts of shit. This probably wouldn't be all that funny today (he wasn't doing anything damaging), but back then, we didn't know anything about what was going on. All we knew was we weren't allowed to fuck with the computers, or some serious shit would go down. I laughed so hard I cried, watching Jake fuck around with that shit. He was the first person I ever saw with a CD player. He had it out at recess. I was surprised to see how fast the CD was spinning. It was like a record player on crack. The rest of my life is mostly a blur up until the point where we had all sorts of fun in study hall. My most favorite memory from that time is of Jake feeding me Pop-tarts and wiping the crumbs off my face in a very homosexual way and the pregnant study hall lady getting pissed off in the process. She seemed to be pissed off a lot. I think it was because she was pregnant. I remember she'd get really pissed when Jake would start pulling the string from his sweatshirt hood through his numerous holes. That was neat too. I regret not hanging out with Jake more. We never partied together. That's why everyone needs to get outside and get laid right now. I'll miss you big time, Jake. And if you aren't really dead, I'll miss you someday.
I decided to skip a few lines, because I still have things to write about, but no transition.
After my aunt's funeral, I got to know my cousins, Cody, Ashley, and I want to say Paul. I also made everyone laugh and love me. I talked to the Aunt Betty and the Uncle Tom about their boys. Ate. Hugged everyone before leaving. It was a good time on all accounts.
I guess I'll make this it then.
Everyone should read Freakonomics if they haven't yet. There is even a bigger and expandeder version out now. Feel free to pick up a copy.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Please Don't Spend Any More Money On Ringtones
You can just go to buildatone.com and make your own for free.
It looks like I'm finally getting a job. Feel free to send me money anyway. You know where to find me.
I've been reading and exercising way too much lately. I have have decided to change my routine more toward eating and sleeping activities.
I've been going through my entire blog, fixing (some) spelling and grammatical errors. I think I will be making a list of my favorite posts. I had forgotten how funny I used to be. The list we be more for me and less for you. I just love reading about myself.
Anyway, stay strong. And keep shitting.
It looks like I'm finally getting a job. Feel free to send me money anyway. You know where to find me.
I've been reading and exercising way too much lately. I have have decided to change my routine more toward eating and sleeping activities.
I've been going through my entire blog, fixing (some) spelling and grammatical errors. I think I will be making a list of my favorite posts. I had forgotten how funny I used to be. The list we be more for me and less for you. I just love reading about myself.
Anyway, stay strong. And keep shitting.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
A NEW RECORD!!!!
Well, it's been a little over two months since Sony's Playstation 3 saw a release in Japan, and, wouldn't you know it, the price is already dropping. Is it because Sony has found a more efficient way to produce them? No. According to this, Sony has nothing to do drop. Retailers are just trying to get whatever they can for the 20GB model of the console, which the article claims "PS3 sales in Japan haven't cooled off, they've frozen."
Now this doesn't really seem like much of a surprise to us. Sony seems to be seeing the same problem here in America. Go into any game retailer, and you can see the PS3s just sitting on the shelves, not going anywhere. You can't even get retail price for them on eBay.
So, if you've already purchased a PS3, I'm sorry. And if you haven't, wait a month or two, and you'll have the opportunity to buy the cheapest Blu-ray DVD player/toilet on the market.
What sounds better to you? A Blu-ray DVD player at the high price of $1,000? Or a Blu-ray DVD player/toilet for $50? Do the right thing.
Now this doesn't really seem like much of a surprise to us. Sony seems to be seeing the same problem here in America. Go into any game retailer, and you can see the PS3s just sitting on the shelves, not going anywhere. You can't even get retail price for them on eBay.
So, if you've already purchased a PS3, I'm sorry. And if you haven't, wait a month or two, and you'll have the opportunity to buy the cheapest Blu-ray DVD player/toilet on the market.
What sounds better to you? A Blu-ray DVD player at the high price of $1,000? Or a Blu-ray DVD player/toilet for $50? Do the right thing.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I Found Myself Lying In My Own Milk
I was awoken yesterday morning at around seven a.m. when my father came into my room. I got up to take out my retainer. When I returned, I found my blanket, soaked with Blaire nipple juice. I had trouble sleeping after that point. I had been in the middle of one of the best dreams in a long time when I was awoken, and my mind kept turning to it. I managed to get close to sleep around nine, but found myself tired of trying when I noticed the big spot on my sheet under my nipple.
I illegally downloaded Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan and Jackass Number Two. They were both good, but the former was the one that was hilarious. I'd highly recommend it to anyone with two dicks.
If anyone needs to take a shit at this point, we are in the same boat.
I illegally downloaded Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan and Jackass Number Two. They were both good, but the former was the one that was hilarious. I'd highly recommend it to anyone with two dicks.
If anyone needs to take a shit at this point, we are in the same boat.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
(Chris) Tucker Max
It looks like our old pal Tucker Max has been busy getting ready for Comedy Central on the television and writing a new book, Asshole Finish First. Tucker has had these (this and this) things to say about things. Personally, I don't know if the show would be that great, but the book is looking pretty good.
This Guy's Name is Frosty
"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who also said that he believes the Earth is 14,000 years old. "The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. ... The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."
I'm just glad we have nutjobs like this guy to help destroy today's yoots.
So I guess what this guy is saying is as long as we have global warming, we will have a lower percentage of oxygen, and without sufficient oxygen, God's flames will die out quickly, leaving us to reap the benefits and retire early.
Thank you, Frosty. Now give me back my goddamn magic hat before you scare any more children with your shenanigans.
I'm just glad we have nutjobs like this guy to help destroy today's yoots.
So I guess what this guy is saying is as long as we have global warming, we will have a lower percentage of oxygen, and without sufficient oxygen, God's flames will die out quickly, leaving us to reap the benefits and retire early.
Thank you, Frosty. Now give me back my goddamn magic hat before you scare any more children with your shenanigans.
Friday, December 29, 2006
cheating hurts...:/ (You will laugh.)
Girl: is on the couch making out with a hot guy, her cellphone rings...
Girl:Hey babe, I'll be right back. I need to take this call.
Boy: Yeah okay. Sure.
She walks into the next room.
Girl: Hey! What's up?
Guy [on her cellphone]: Nothing, hey hun, do you think we could go do something later tonight? What are the chances my boss let me get out early.
Girl: Yeah, sounds great!
Guy [on her cellphone]: Okay. I'm right by your house, I'll come to get you now.
Girl: That's not such a good idea...
Guy [on her cellphone]: Why not?
Girl: I'm busy right now... sorry.
Guy [on her cellphone]: With what? It's our anniversary! You didn't make any other plans did you...?
In her head she yells, SHIT! Throws clothes back on quickly.
Girl: No No... I was just eating... with the family.
Guy [on her cellphone]: But I thought you said your family was away this weekend, up at your resort?
The guy walks into her house, turns the corner into the hallway. Goes downstairs, and finds his bestfriend on her couch, half un-dressed, trying to pull his pants back on and his girlfriend pulling her shirt over her head.
Guy: What the hell is going on?!
Girl: I can explain! Please listen to me!
Guy: Benny? How could you do this to me! Rachel! I thought you loved me! And yet, your sleeping with MY BEST FRIEND!!!!
Girl: John...!
John with tears in his eyes, he rushes out of room, and slams the door.
Benny climbs out of the window, starts his car, and drives off down the street.
Girl runs after her boyfriend. Yelling...
Girl: NOOOO! Please!! Come back John!! Pleeeeeasssse????!! She falls down and cries.
John turns around, looks straight at his girlfriend in tears.
John: Why? Rachel, why? I loved you! Oh my God, I'm in love with a whore. Does this mean I have to pay you now?!
Here take this as the cash. He drops a ring box on her lap.
She opens the ring box. Her jaw drops... Before her eyes is a diamond wedding ring.
Girl: You were going to propose?
Guy: Yeah... how dumb was I? And as he slowly walked back to his car, his headlights faded... And she was in despair.
Later that night, the girl got a phone call from the police saying he just jumped off the bridge and killed himself.
If you love/like someone, and you want them in your life forever. Repost in 380 seconds as "cheating hurts." Or your true love will walk away from you
Girl:Hey babe, I'll be right back. I need to take this call.
Boy: Yeah okay. Sure.
She walks into the next room.
Girl: Hey! What's up?
Guy [on her cellphone]: Nothing, hey hun, do you think we could go do something later tonight? What are the chances my boss let me get out early.
Girl: Yeah, sounds great!
Guy [on her cellphone]: Okay. I'm right by your house, I'll come to get you now.
Girl: That's not such a good idea...
Guy [on her cellphone]: Why not?
Girl: I'm busy right now... sorry.
Guy [on her cellphone]: With what? It's our anniversary! You didn't make any other plans did you...?
In her head she yells, SHIT! Throws clothes back on quickly.
Girl: No No... I was just eating... with the family.
Guy [on her cellphone]: But I thought you said your family was away this weekend, up at your resort?
The guy walks into her house, turns the corner into the hallway. Goes downstairs, and finds his bestfriend on her couch, half un-dressed, trying to pull his pants back on and his girlfriend pulling her shirt over her head.
Guy: What the hell is going on?!
Girl: I can explain! Please listen to me!
Guy: Benny? How could you do this to me! Rachel! I thought you loved me! And yet, your sleeping with MY BEST FRIEND!!!!
Girl: John...!
John with tears in his eyes, he rushes out of room, and slams the door.
Benny climbs out of the window, starts his car, and drives off down the street.
Girl runs after her boyfriend. Yelling...
Girl: NOOOO! Please!! Come back John!! Pleeeeeasssse????!! She falls down and cries.
John turns around, looks straight at his girlfriend in tears.
John: Why? Rachel, why? I loved you! Oh my God, I'm in love with a whore. Does this mean I have to pay you now?!
Here take this as the cash. He drops a ring box on her lap.
She opens the ring box. Her jaw drops... Before her eyes is a diamond wedding ring.
Girl: You were going to propose?
Guy: Yeah... how dumb was I? And as he slowly walked back to his car, his headlights faded... And she was in despair.
Later that night, the girl got a phone call from the police saying he just jumped off the bridge and killed himself.
If you love/like someone, and you want them in your life forever. Repost in 380 seconds as "cheating hurts." Or your true love will walk away from you
Monday, December 11, 2006
Maître d'hôtel Yeats de William
I wrote this today because it was due today. Sorry if it seems rushed.
If there’s one thing I like to do, it’s explore. Explore what? Exactly. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to get to know a poet I otherwise know little about. William Butler Yeats seems to be a fairly well upheld figure in the poetry industry. I can’t recall ever reading any of Yeats’ poetry during a voyage in the past. This will be uncharted territory for me. I hope I don’t get killed.
“The Scholars” is a poem I can find myself relating to. It seems to be about people following the same path, because following the same path is what people do. Old men teach young men to write like they write. They all know the same people and think the same. And at the end it mentions Gaius Valerius Catullus: “Did their Catullus walk that way?” I did some research on this Catullus, and he seems to be quite amazing, based on my personal views. In “Catullus 16,” we see Catullus verbally attacking two of his critics, stating that he “will fuck you like a boy and throat-rape you.” I find this to be far from the norm when it comes to poetry and can’t help but think Yeats means to use it to make a point of being different. It seems different yet very exciting, especially when you are used to reading the same type of love poem. While many poets aim “To flatter beauty’s ignorant ear,” Catullus decided to rape beauty’s ignorant throat.
Yeats’ poem “The Stolen Child” describes children being taken away by faeries. This poem actually helped me out a great deal, because I have always wondered what happened to my brother. The poem best explains itself in four lines repeated through the entire work: “Come away, O human child!/To the waters and the wild/With a faery, hand in hand,/For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.” The point Yeats makes is that children shouldn’t cry about being taken away by faeries. That isn’t really that bad of a fate to have to face. These children are so young they have yet to see many of the evils this world offers. Some people get shot in the face. I am sure anyone who has been shot in the face would much rather have simply been taken away by faeries. This is the exact point Yeats is trying to make, and I completely agree with him.
After moving on to “When You Are Old,” a pattern begins to show itself. Yeats poems tend to paint a picture of peacefulness with a slight case of anarchy. The first, “The Scholars” depicts people following a familiar, relaxing path, but dares us to do otherwise. “The Stolen Child” gives us hope for our children’s future: they shall spend their days in a far-off land with cute little faeries. The dark side of this is that the faeries are most likely eating the children. Yeats is trying to tell us what we don’t want to hear while covering it up with pretty lies. “When You Are Old” has the same intent, yet the bad part feels not bad at all. The poem makes you realize how close to death you are, but instead of creating feelings of sorrow, it creates feelings of other sorrow. The sorrow is good. You feel just good enough about your accomplishments.
“The Lake Isle of Innisfree” is an average feeling poem. It strikes up no feelings in my gut, but it does a fine job of reflecting what I think most of us are after. A man plans to move away, possibly running from some old pain, to find peace elsewhere. We’ve all surely been in that position. I know I’m in it right now. It’s just far too painful for me to live in a world where Thanksgiving only comes once a year. I mean, how am I supposed to live off of only 5,000 calories a day? I need so much more, yet it is so far away. I am truly heartbroken. Give me a cigarette.
Being the good parent he was, Yeats wanted to make sure his daughter turned out to be beautiful, rather than ugly. It is what any parent would want for his or her daughter. The worst thing I could ever imagine as a parent would be having an unattractive daughter. Yeats sets a good example for parents everywhere. If you can’t afford to make your daughter pretty, you’re not a good parent.
“Leda and the Swan” breaks away from the traditional Yeats. It takes the advice given in “The Scholars.” In this work, a nice lady named Leda finds herself in a position we’ve all been in after a long night of drinking. She is making babies with a swan. Raped by Zeus? I hardly think so. It seems to me like she just needed an excuse for something she never expected to end up on Youtube. Like in the earlier poems, we see a good situation gone awry.
My favorite characteristic about Keats’ writing is his ability to urge one not to follow protocol while following protocol. It’s somewhat like someone working at Wal-Mart and telling shoppers to make purchases somewhere else. It’s a good idea, but it takes a real hero to pull it off.
Yeats, I like what you’ve done with the place. It was fantastic meeting you.
If there’s one thing I like to do, it’s explore. Explore what? Exactly. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to get to know a poet I otherwise know little about. William Butler Yeats seems to be a fairly well upheld figure in the poetry industry. I can’t recall ever reading any of Yeats’ poetry during a voyage in the past. This will be uncharted territory for me. I hope I don’t get killed.
“The Scholars” is a poem I can find myself relating to. It seems to be about people following the same path, because following the same path is what people do. Old men teach young men to write like they write. They all know the same people and think the same. And at the end it mentions Gaius Valerius Catullus: “Did their Catullus walk that way?” I did some research on this Catullus, and he seems to be quite amazing, based on my personal views. In “Catullus 16,” we see Catullus verbally attacking two of his critics, stating that he “will fuck you like a boy and throat-rape you.” I find this to be far from the norm when it comes to poetry and can’t help but think Yeats means to use it to make a point of being different. It seems different yet very exciting, especially when you are used to reading the same type of love poem. While many poets aim “To flatter beauty’s ignorant ear,” Catullus decided to rape beauty’s ignorant throat.
Yeats’ poem “The Stolen Child” describes children being taken away by faeries. This poem actually helped me out a great deal, because I have always wondered what happened to my brother. The poem best explains itself in four lines repeated through the entire work: “Come away, O human child!/To the waters and the wild/With a faery, hand in hand,/For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.” The point Yeats makes is that children shouldn’t cry about being taken away by faeries. That isn’t really that bad of a fate to have to face. These children are so young they have yet to see many of the evils this world offers. Some people get shot in the face. I am sure anyone who has been shot in the face would much rather have simply been taken away by faeries. This is the exact point Yeats is trying to make, and I completely agree with him.
After moving on to “When You Are Old,” a pattern begins to show itself. Yeats poems tend to paint a picture of peacefulness with a slight case of anarchy. The first, “The Scholars” depicts people following a familiar, relaxing path, but dares us to do otherwise. “The Stolen Child” gives us hope for our children’s future: they shall spend their days in a far-off land with cute little faeries. The dark side of this is that the faeries are most likely eating the children. Yeats is trying to tell us what we don’t want to hear while covering it up with pretty lies. “When You Are Old” has the same intent, yet the bad part feels not bad at all. The poem makes you realize how close to death you are, but instead of creating feelings of sorrow, it creates feelings of other sorrow. The sorrow is good. You feel just good enough about your accomplishments.
“The Lake Isle of Innisfree” is an average feeling poem. It strikes up no feelings in my gut, but it does a fine job of reflecting what I think most of us are after. A man plans to move away, possibly running from some old pain, to find peace elsewhere. We’ve all surely been in that position. I know I’m in it right now. It’s just far too painful for me to live in a world where Thanksgiving only comes once a year. I mean, how am I supposed to live off of only 5,000 calories a day? I need so much more, yet it is so far away. I am truly heartbroken. Give me a cigarette.
Being the good parent he was, Yeats wanted to make sure his daughter turned out to be beautiful, rather than ugly. It is what any parent would want for his or her daughter. The worst thing I could ever imagine as a parent would be having an unattractive daughter. Yeats sets a good example for parents everywhere. If you can’t afford to make your daughter pretty, you’re not a good parent.
“Leda and the Swan” breaks away from the traditional Yeats. It takes the advice given in “The Scholars.” In this work, a nice lady named Leda finds herself in a position we’ve all been in after a long night of drinking. She is making babies with a swan. Raped by Zeus? I hardly think so. It seems to me like she just needed an excuse for something she never expected to end up on Youtube. Like in the earlier poems, we see a good situation gone awry.
My favorite characteristic about Keats’ writing is his ability to urge one not to follow protocol while following protocol. It’s somewhat like someone working at Wal-Mart and telling shoppers to make purchases somewhere else. It’s a good idea, but it takes a real hero to pull it off.
Yeats, I like what you’ve done with the place. It was fantastic meeting you.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Hit Me
I lost my card. Well, I didn't lose it, but someone else gained it just the same.
Here's a nice little article about politics for yous.
I'm hungry, so I think I'm goan turn in an application or two today.
I downloaded F-Zero on the virtual console. I wouldn't recommend doing it unless you're a really big fan of old games that used to be fun but aren't even worth playing today.
I'm gonna start saving some dollars to buy some whills to get around after I get enough money to move out. Holla.
Here's a nice little article about politics for yous.
I'm hungry, so I think I'm goan turn in an application or two today.
I downloaded F-Zero on the virtual console. I wouldn't recommend doing it unless you're a really big fan of old games that used to be fun but aren't even worth playing today.
I'm gonna start saving some dollars to buy some whills to get around after I get enough money to move out. Holla.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Shit
I've been playing my Wii and watching The History Channel.
Wii is fun.
I also had a PS3 for just a little while.
I got tired of that shit pretty quick. I thought about selling it on eBay, but that would've taken too long. I put it in the trunk and pushed the car off the cliff. Problem solved.
Um.
I have two papers due tomorrow. The first one doesn't have a supposed set length. I think I'll shoot for at least three pages, if not four. I think the other one is to be no longer than one page. I also have a quiz due in my math class.
I went to Greenwood with Stephanie Mae the other day. I found a couple of books at Waldenbooks that I would like to have.
My plans for the next few Wiiks are far and few. I mean big. Fuck.
Enough of this shit.
Matthew . . .
Wii is fun.
I also had a PS3 for just a little while.
I got tired of that shit pretty quick. I thought about selling it on eBay, but that would've taken too long. I put it in the trunk and pushed the car off the cliff. Problem solved.
Um.
I have two papers due tomorrow. The first one doesn't have a supposed set length. I think I'll shoot for at least three pages, if not four. I think the other one is to be no longer than one page. I also have a quiz due in my math class.
I went to Greenwood with Stephanie Mae the other day. I found a couple of books at Waldenbooks that I would like to have.
My plans for the next few Wiiks are far and few. I mean big. Fuck.
Enough of this shit.
Matthew . . .
Sunday, November 05, 2006
We Had a Good Time at McDonald's
I dreamt my friend was reteaching me Japanese.
Try one of these out.
The weekend was all right. And by weekend, I mean Thursday up until now. I got to hang out and lift weights. I've been reliving my childhood with The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past/Four Swords. I've been writing a lot every day. I write about whatever comes to mind. I've stopped eating.
We all fall down.
Try one of these out.
The weekend was all right. And by weekend, I mean Thursday up until now. I got to hang out and lift weights. I've been reliving my childhood with The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past/Four Swords. I've been writing a lot every day. I write about whatever comes to mind. I've stopped eating.
We all fall down.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Maybe It's a Stupid Theory or Maybe Just Stupidity
I started reading Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest the other day. There is a tremendous quote from the Native American narrator early on that I would like to share with you, the people: "But it's the truth even if it didn't happen." I sat and turned it over in my head for a little while. It struck me hard--right in the kidney. The idea seems offbeat, yet somewhat assuring. Does something really have to be true in order to have happened? No. And this proves it. Next question.
I got Final Fantasy XII Monday night. It's one of the best movies in video game packaging I've seen.
The end of The Count was amazing. Just like the beginning and the 1400 pages between them. I want to read at least two other books before I read it again. Ross wants to borrow it. I don't see a problem with it. As long as he doesn't shove it up his ass like he does everything else. Anyway. Go ahead and by this version. After you obtain and read that version, do what I'm about to do: grab the Robin Buss translation, published by Penguin Classics. Buss' translation, from what I've read, has refurbished the language for our time (bad) and has reinstated all of the sex and drugs, left out in previous translations.
Bye.
I got Final Fantasy XII Monday night. It's one of the best movies in video game packaging I've seen.
The end of The Count was amazing. Just like the beginning and the 1400 pages between them. I want to read at least two other books before I read it again. Ross wants to borrow it. I don't see a problem with it. As long as he doesn't shove it up his ass like he does everything else. Anyway. Go ahead and by this version. After you obtain and read that version, do what I'm about to do: grab the Robin Buss translation, published by Penguin Classics. Buss' translation, from what I've read, has refurbished the language for our time (bad) and has reinstated all of the sex and drugs, left out in previous translations.
Bye.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Home Alone
The title really says it all.
My whole family is home alone.
I got a call last yesterday. I didn't recognize the number, but I was somewhat interested in finding out who would want to call me. It was Gamestop lady. Joe told me her Final Fantasy VII name, but I can't pull it up at the moment. She invited me to a party that starts at eleven o'clock tonight. I get to pick up my new game Final Fantasy XII at twelve o'clock while I'm at the party. Wow. She sure is nice.
I didn't sleep last night. I was up half the night reading The Count of Monte Cristo and the other half was spent trying to convince myself I wasn't M. Danglars and to stop worrying about my money woes.
I eventually made it out of bed and to school. My classes were cool, until the between era, where I started to feel bad in the tummy area. I actually felt bad in comparative religions, but I couldn't bring myself to unleash the fury of toxins that had built up in my colon. I decided on my break that I would not be attending my favorite class, poetry for Blaire, at the end of the day. I went to my folklore class and while conversing with others of the advantages of having a PENIS PULL/POLE/IDON'TKNOWWHATWEWEREREALLYTALKINGABOUT,ITWASMORELIKEWEWEREJUSTHAVINGFUNWITHAMADEUPWORD, I completely forgot about my pains.
I came home just the same, and with many hours left before the party, I am sure I will have the last 70 pages read in no time.
I like the new features, especially the page building thing. The only thing I don't like about it is the template change. The template is way off now and they use secret codes to keep me from doing it myself. Oh well. I figured it out once; I'll figure it out again.
Fucking Google AdSense just shows links to online survey stuff. Whatever. It's a party.
My whole family is home alone.
I got a call last yesterday. I didn't recognize the number, but I was somewhat interested in finding out who would want to call me. It was Gamestop lady. Joe told me her Final Fantasy VII name, but I can't pull it up at the moment. She invited me to a party that starts at eleven o'clock tonight. I get to pick up my new game Final Fantasy XII at twelve o'clock while I'm at the party. Wow. She sure is nice.
I didn't sleep last night. I was up half the night reading The Count of Monte Cristo and the other half was spent trying to convince myself I wasn't M. Danglars and to stop worrying about my money woes.
I eventually made it out of bed and to school. My classes were cool, until the between era, where I started to feel bad in the tummy area. I actually felt bad in comparative religions, but I couldn't bring myself to unleash the fury of toxins that had built up in my colon. I decided on my break that I would not be attending my favorite class, poetry for Blaire, at the end of the day. I went to my folklore class and while conversing with others of the advantages of having a PENIS PULL/POLE/IDON'TKNOWWHATWEWEREREALLYTALKINGABOUT,ITWASMORELIKEWEWEREJUSTHAVINGFUNWITHAMADEUPWORD, I completely forgot about my pains.
I came home just the same, and with many hours left before the party, I am sure I will have the last 70 pages read in no time.
I like the new features, especially the page building thing. The only thing I don't like about it is the template change. The template is way off now and they use secret codes to keep me from doing it myself. Oh well. I figured it out once; I'll figure it out again.
Fucking Google AdSense just shows links to online survey stuff. Whatever. It's a party.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
I Just Moved
To Blogger beta.
Holy shit.
The difference is unimaginable.
I mean, I couldn't have ever imagined a new blogger that is exactly the same as the old one.
No.
I haven't had time to check it out. I just now moved my blogs.
I need to make an AdSense thing for my Intendo blog so I can become a millionaire.
Up the down storiod.
If anyone can get me a copy of any kind of Linux, let me know. I want it rill bad.
Holy shit.
The difference is unimaginable.
I mean, I couldn't have ever imagined a new blogger that is exactly the same as the old one.
No.
I haven't had time to check it out. I just now moved my blogs.
I need to make an AdSense thing for my Intendo blog so I can become a millionaire.
Up the down storiod.
If anyone can get me a copy of any kind of Linux, let me know. I want it rill bad.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Amazing
I finally found a good version of Firefox 2.
It's called Firefox 2 RC 3. Go ahead and click that link to download the installation software if you want. But I would recommend reading through this before you do. You may not like what you'd be getting yourself into. The RC stands for Release Candidate. It hasn't even been released in beta form. Well, this is a beta form, but it hasn't been released as a beta version. You know what I mean.
I really like this early version of Firefox 2. Some of my add-ons from the past weren't compatible, but those were the gay ones I never used anyway. My favorite feature is the new spell check feature. Or maybe it's an add-on I downloaded. I don't know. I've got a spell checker I can click on in my Google toolbar, but I've also got the browser underlining my spelling errors. Whatever.
I also bought a Wii on the--whatever day Gamestop had the reserves in. I was fifth in line if my memory serves me the way Walter Clopton Wingfield would. I also bought a one gig memory stick/card/human/whateverthefuck.
I can feel myself getting more and more awesome every day. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one day and discovered I didn't have to talk to you assholes anymore. Goodbye assholes, hello fellow janitors at Comedy Central.
I just found out my good friend Jess is a retard. I think we all new it the whole time. We were just waiting for the right moment.
I think I'm done.
It's called Firefox 2 RC 3. Go ahead and click that link to download the installation software if you want. But I would recommend reading through this before you do. You may not like what you'd be getting yourself into. The RC stands for Release Candidate. It hasn't even been released in beta form. Well, this is a beta form, but it hasn't been released as a beta version. You know what I mean.
I really like this early version of Firefox 2. Some of my add-ons from the past weren't compatible, but those were the gay ones I never used anyway. My favorite feature is the new spell check feature. Or maybe it's an add-on I downloaded. I don't know. I've got a spell checker I can click on in my Google toolbar, but I've also got the browser underlining my spelling errors. Whatever.
I also bought a Wii on the--whatever day Gamestop had the reserves in. I was fifth in line if my memory serves me the way Walter Clopton Wingfield would. I also bought a one gig memory stick/card/human/whateverthefuck.
I can feel myself getting more and more awesome every day. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one day and discovered I didn't have to talk to you assholes anymore. Goodbye assholes, hello fellow janitors at Comedy Central.
I just found out my good friend Jess is a retard. I think we all new it the whole time. We were just waiting for the right moment.
I think I'm done.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Fuck Ozma
I spent around three hours fighting the fucker tonight, but I just can't seem to get him. I can get close, but that's when he decides to kill me on the spot. Fuck. I don't know. I guess I'll have to change my strategy. I'll try again tomorrow.
I added a new commercial to my Intendo Games blog. It's a good one.
Stefan was here for Fall Breaks, so we hung out most of the time.
We made a get well soon card for Rob, and we put it in his yard for everyone to see.
I hope he is feeling better.
I kinda hurt my arm again while I was doing pull-ups, so I failed when I tried to get my bicepts in. But I'm pretty much kicking ass at racquetball, so who the fuck?
I wrote a funny-as-fuck one-and-a-half-page four-page paper for my poetry class. It'd probably be too far over you guys' head, so I'll let you imagine.
Bitch is crazy--keep on dreaming.
I added a new commercial to my Intendo Games blog. It's a good one.
Stefan was here for Fall Breaks, so we hung out most of the time.
We made a get well soon card for Rob, and we put it in his yard for everyone to see.
I hope he is feeling better.
I kinda hurt my arm again while I was doing pull-ups, so I failed when I tried to get my bicepts in. But I'm pretty much kicking ass at racquetball, so who the fuck?
I wrote a funny-as-fuck one-and-a-half-page four-page paper for my poetry class. It'd probably be too far over you guys' head, so I'll let you imagine.
Bitch is crazy--keep on dreaming.
Friday, September 22, 2006
i thought i was ganon but once he was sealed away
So much has happened. I've wanted to blog about things, but I'm just too lazy. For rill.
My tumor has gotten bigger, I'm assuming.
I serched my computer, destroying old documents, and finding some nice things in the process. Not all of them are that great, but I like them anyway.
I started a new blog. I really don't know what this blog will be, but from the looks of it, I'd say something having to do with my life-long love for Princess Zelda.
I'm getting a lot better at Star Fox Command.
I don't sleep at night.
I have trouble staying awake at school.
I have trouble reading of Le Comte, because I am usually very tired.
But I am about half-way thru it.
It'll pick up once I get my studies done.
Um . . .
I had to break a girls heart the other night.
I felt bad, but it sure was a great time.
I'm lifting weights a lot again.
I'll let you know.
Nintendo Fusion Tour is this Thursday. You can play some Wii with me or some DS. I might bring my DS to pwn some bitches at Star Fox Command. It's being headlined by Hawthorne Heights. The others is Relient K, Emery, Plaine White T's and The Sleeping.
Goodbye.
I made a new group on the Facebook that you guys can check out. Go ahead and ask to be let in if you like what you see. I don't know if that link will work for anybody, but I'm not gonna check it. Let me know if it doesn't work with a comment, and I won't change it, but I'll know.
My tumor has gotten bigger, I'm assuming.
I serched my computer, destroying old documents, and finding some nice things in the process. Not all of them are that great, but I like them anyway.
I started a new blog. I really don't know what this blog will be, but from the looks of it, I'd say something having to do with my life-long love for Princess Zelda.
I'm getting a lot better at Star Fox Command.
I don't sleep at night.
I have trouble staying awake at school.
I have trouble reading of Le Comte, because I am usually very tired.
But I am about half-way thru it.
It'll pick up once I get my studies done.
Um . . .
I had to break a girls heart the other night.
I felt bad, but it sure was a great time.
I'm lifting weights a lot again.
I'll let you know.
Nintendo Fusion Tour is this Thursday. You can play some Wii with me or some DS. I might bring my DS to pwn some bitches at Star Fox Command. It's being headlined by Hawthorne Heights. The others is Relient K, Emery, Plaine White T's and The Sleeping.
Goodbye.
I made a new group on the Facebook that you guys can check out. Go ahead and ask to be let in if you like what you see. I don't know if that link will work for anybody, but I'm not gonna check it. Let me know if it doesn't work with a comment, and I won't change it, but I'll know.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
I'm Drunk
I have many realizations when I'm drunk. I just had one that I found very much worth sharing.
It is about Tom Cruise.
You see, Tom Cruise has for many years been viewed as a great actor.
What I have come to realize is that being a good actor does not have a thing to do with your acting ability [not true (Winona Rider)]; it is all about being a good judge of what you act in.
A lot of people hate on Tom Cruise for his religious beliefs. A lot of people hate on Tom Cruise for crazy antics. What I have come to realize is that Tom Cruise is much more sane that most of the population guilty of condemning him.
To celebrate this finding of mine, I have created a list of criteria that disenfanchise (very legally) idiots who have no place in talking in such a way of others.
I am talking about you if:
1. Your favorite show is "The Real World."
2. Your favorite show is "Laguna Beach."
3. Your favorite show is "Big Brother."
4. Your favorite book falls somewhere in the "Gossip Girls" section.
5. You have any preferences falling in any category anywhere near anything I have just mentioned.
If anyone has any other stupid ass criteria to add to the list, please do so through commentation (I'm not sure if that's a word--Spell check didn't recognize it, and neither did I--I am pretty drunk.) through my comments (breasts) link.
I will allow the ones I see fit; the ones I feel don't belong will be discarded.
Thank you for your crazy-ass time, you fuck-asses.
Okay, I just checked "disenfranchise" with Google. Evidently the only proper way of putting it is "disenfranchised." I also come across people using periods outside the quotation marks. I have seen this many times in Le Comte de Monte-Cristo (I just checked that shit out and I am very proud to say I got it super-right on my first try while being drunk or needing help from Google.) or The Count of Monte Cristo, if you support President Bush.
Here's how I feel about it: You write how you write, and that's what makes literature and language what it is. You can take control and change the rules if that is how you choose to do things. It is as simple as that. If someone wants to change the rules of writing, all he or she needs to do is write how he or she feels fit.
If you want a definition of something, go to Google.com and type "define" followed by ":" and then a space and the word (ex. define: fuckshit).
That's all you need.
Good night. For rill.
It is about Tom Cruise.
You see, Tom Cruise has for many years been viewed as a great actor.
What I have come to realize is that being a good actor does not have a thing to do with your acting ability [not true (Winona Rider)]; it is all about being a good judge of what you act in.
A lot of people hate on Tom Cruise for his religious beliefs. A lot of people hate on Tom Cruise for crazy antics. What I have come to realize is that Tom Cruise is much more sane that most of the population guilty of condemning him.
To celebrate this finding of mine, I have created a list of criteria that disenfanchise (very legally) idiots who have no place in talking in such a way of others.
I am talking about you if:
1. Your favorite show is "The Real World."
2. Your favorite show is "Laguna Beach."
3. Your favorite show is "Big Brother."
4. Your favorite book falls somewhere in the "Gossip Girls" section.
5. You have any preferences falling in any category anywhere near anything I have just mentioned.
If anyone has any other stupid ass criteria to add to the list, please do so through commentation (I'm not sure if that's a word--Spell check didn't recognize it, and neither did I--I am pretty drunk.) through my comments (breasts) link.
I will allow the ones I see fit; the ones I feel don't belong will be discarded.
Thank you for your crazy-ass time, you fuck-asses.
Okay, I just checked "disenfranchise" with Google. Evidently the only proper way of putting it is "disenfranchised." I also come across people using periods outside the quotation marks. I have seen this many times in Le Comte de Monte-Cristo (I just checked that shit out and I am very proud to say I got it super-right on my first try while being drunk or needing help from Google.) or The Count of Monte Cristo, if you support President Bush.
Here's how I feel about it: You write how you write, and that's what makes literature and language what it is. You can take control and change the rules if that is how you choose to do things. It is as simple as that. If someone wants to change the rules of writing, all he or she needs to do is write how he or she feels fit.
If you want a definition of something, go to Google.com and type "define" followed by ":" and then a space and the word (ex. define: fuckshit).
That's all you need.
Good night. For rill.
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