Hammertime

I've had very little time to sleep lately, thanks to some asshole. It all started about a week ago, when I decided I would start reading the Hunter S. Thompson books given to me to read by a close friend: Stefan (the asshole). I can't clearly remember the last time I was so hooked into a book that I found myself waking up early to read. There have been numerous occasions where I have stayed up all night (or all day) to read, but I'd never prematurely risen from bed to do it. Sleeping is nearly my favorite thing to do, and I hate stopping it when I don't have to. That should tell you how bad the situation has become.

Had become.

The situation is now over. I am both relieved and saddened. I've read more in the past week than I have the rest of the year (divided by seventeen). If this confuses you, it's only because I have failed to mention the many other works I have read this week as well. And I will continue to fail to do so.
Here we see the asshole with his hot out-of-the-oven bride, or, as I like to call her, Sam Gambrel.





Kingdom of Fear immediately took a hold on my mind. After reading the first page, I knew I was about to lose sleep. There was no way around it. With work and beating off, I just didn't have time for both constant reading and sleep. I had to not have one. IT wasn't a hard choice to make; the book pretty much made the choice for me. It reminds me of the time I read some Tucker Max. You know what I'm talking about: "I hate my table." It clicked just like that.

Block paragraphs.

I had trouble tell at times what was real and what was kinda real (or, I should say, kinda not real). When the Judge came into the scene, I immediately wondered if I was reading pure fiction. It was the only time I got that feeling during the book. I'm sure some or most of it might have been based on actual happenings--we are talking about HST, after all.

Overall, I'd give the book a ten out of five. The only problem I had was not having my own copy to paint. I sent my cousin, Deanna, to fetch me my own many times, all to no avail.

Screwjack was second on the list. It was the only book I was able to put down as fast as I picked it up, only because that's how long it was. It was touching, but felt like what it had would have worked better if it was divided and archived with other works, like the Leach story. I'm not saying it wasn't of worth, but that it was over before you could enjoy it. Like a premature orgasm without the embarrassment.

I immediately went from Screwjack into the first 100 pages of Better than Sex. That was just the other day. I finished the second half earlier today. It offered a somewhat different experience compared to the other books. It was pure politics. Amazing stories. I learned a lot about politicians I'm sure I wouldn't have found anywhere else. It exposed a lot of the players and made them seem more like real people than the fictitious characters they appear to be on TV.

If I had to give the books a label, I would call them inspiring. Taking control of ones life seems possible through the examples of Dr. Thompson. I most likely wouldn't be writing a new blog post if it weren't for him (or the asshole who lost many hours of my sleep time).

'Til next time. Mahalo...nigga!

Yeah?

Just look at all this stuff. It's ridicalus.



So, I'm sitting at the computer, right?, and Ani puts this thing on my face. I take it off and look at it, then I make one and put it on her face.



I'm hard at work on my swimming page.



Sarah is taking out the guy she put in my hair.



Still going.



Haha! Look at her stupid face.



Here I am, looking at a piece of paper.



All of a sudden, Audrey189 invites me over for a make-out party.



I accept her invitation.



Audrey189: Hold on. I think I just farted.



Blaire: Oh fuck! I think I'm choking on it.



Blaire and Audrey189: Oh my God! That train is headed right for us!



I'm doing well with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It is very good, better than I had expected.



I found out the other night that Oasis did a cover of "Cum On Feel the Noize," so I jumped on KaZaA and downloaded that bitch.

Roses are Dead

I got up.
I waited.
I read a little bit of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
I went to Stephanie's house.
Stephanie gave me a banana.
I asked Emily if she wanted a banana.
Emily told me I needed a banana.
Stephanie told me to eat the banana.
I kept taking bites, and watched them down with liquid so I wouldn't have to chew.
I ran out of grape stuff.
I had to chew a little bit.
I almost threw up.
We watched Spider-man 2.
I punched Stephanie in the face a few times.
Stephanie tore my pants.
I cut Stephanie's hair.
I did something else, and Stephanie doesn't know, and Emily won't tell her.
It was cold outside.
Cora told me to run.
I ran out, and didn't even get in my car, and I acted like I was running home.
I turned around before I got to the bridge and walked back.
I drove home.
I saw Russell and Kyle and Jordan and someone else, i think and another guy I don't even know, and I talked to them.
Russell told me about the ticket Kyle got.
I went home.
I ate a bunch of Ritz peanutbutter crackers.

Penetration at its Best

My last real post was on the fifteenth, so I'm gonna try to remember all the highlights since then.


2/16

Had a short swim practice.
Some people were taking pictures. I think Sam Booth and Eric Byrer got the best ones. ;)
We went to Rob's house for food and stuff, and we showed Rob the pictures, and then Cody Miller showed my mom and Tyty's mom one of them. I think it scared both of them. We then watched Old School and I beat the shit out of Chris Wooten, and then we all went home.
I talked to Clinton on the internet for just a little while. We sent each other lots of smileys.
That's about all I can remember.


2/17

Some people did their society project in English. They lived in a bubble, in the ocean. They had a picture of it. They rode elevators down to the bubble from an island. I guess the island was just a big piece of land floating around on the water, and it really pissed me off.
Swimming sectional.
I beat Cherry, right?
Yeah.
He didn't do shit.
That's right.


2/18

My groups day to go in English.
I had trouble getting the printer to print my musical talents for the project.
I had to write some lyrics at lunch.
I put on my Johnny Depp Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas shirt in front of everybody in the hallway.
We did our thing.
I read my lyrics, and it didn't even matter that I had all that music, because we didn't even use it and Miss Couden didn't even see it.
We showed our video to the rest of the class. I was somewhat fearful that Miss Couden would try to kill me after seeing me naked in the video, but she just laughed along with the rest of the class.
Swim practice.
I walked over to Beavis Alert's house at approximately 5:30 P.M. We drove around for a bit. I told him many great stories. He called Amber Alert, and then we drove thru the water and got her.
We all went to Goodwill, where we saw Eric Byrer, shopping with his mother, Susan.
We looked and looked for something for me to wear to formal. Nothing seemed to fit me.
We finally found this little black skirt and this stretchy pink shirt. We got a nice purse, and we were on our way.
Beavis Alert took me home.
I drove on over to the high school.
Senior night.
I saw my Clinton, and I gave him a hug.
I saw some Lees (one of them took notice to my shirt after some time) and a Hudson and a Kuhn and a Newkirk and a Pierce and a Barlow and an Orem (he recognized the Fear and Loathing scene on my shirt right away) and I ate four hotdogs, and then we had our cross country recognition, and then I got some ice cream.
Blaire Hartman, Andrew Newkirk, Joh Lee, Josh lee (Jon comes before Josh aphabetically), Sean Hudson, Jarod Grimme, Adam Barlow, Lindsay Conner, Justin Kuhn, and Pierce Martin all went to Applebee's, where we saw Pat Creel.
It was nice seeing Pat Creel.
I was very funny.
I told Adam Barlow many interesting stories about Lindsay Conner.
We all went home.


2/19

Got up at about nine.
Got on the internet for a while.
Shaved.
Went to the high school.
Got on the bus.
Went to Center Grove for sectional finals.
Went into the locker room.
Stefan found a pencil.
Stefan tried to get pencil stuck in ceiling.
Blair found stool.
Blair tried to get stool stuck in ceiling.
Stool didn't stick.
Stool came back down.
As did a nice portion of the ceiling.
Oops!
Blair picked up some big pieces of the ceiling.
We got out of there very quickly.
We swam.
We got 45 points, I think.
We lost.
Um.
I went home.
I got dressed up for formal.
I picked up Amber Alert.
Her mom, I think, got some pictures.
We went to see Beavis Alert at work.
We headed over to Lindsay Conner's house.
We passed Bryce New on Amos.
We got to Linday's just in time to see the end of Secret Window.
Johnny Depp.
Adam Barlow was there.
Megan Allen and Lori Nigh showed up.
We all went to get Erica Cole and Derica.
We all went to Logan's Roadhouse.
We saw Pat Creel there.
What are the odds of that?
We ate.
I told Adam Barlow a secret.
Megan left her cell phone on the table, so I took it.
I called a few people from Megan's phone.
I called Sally, pretending to be Adam, and he didn't like the message I left her, and he erased it.
We went to the thing.
Everyone thought I was beautiful.
People were getting pictures of me left and right.
We danced.
A bunch of guys were wanting to take me home with them.
We went to Denny's.
A guy gave me a dollar for wearing a skirt.
I got this Oreo thing.
We left.
I went home, I think.
Wait.
I played games with Adam Barlow as we were heading down 44.
And then I led the way for a little, and then I started driving crazy, and then this cop pulled up, and I drove away very slowly.
The cop just kinda sat there for a bit, and then he went on his way.
And then I went home.
I started to write a poem about it, I think.
I think I fell asleep around 5.


2/20

Got up at about noon.
Talked to Blaine Zimmerman on the internet.
He directed me towards Paris Hilton's contacts (not the kind you wear in your eyes).
I tried many of the numbers.
None seemed to work.
I think that's about it.


2/21

Got up.
Went to the computer.
Recognized, right away, the headline stating that my new hero, Hunter S. Thompson, had committed suicide.
I spent most of the day finding links to him and putting them in my blog.
I sat around.
Uh....
Hmmm.
I found out Dragonball GT is on Cartoon Network now.
I know I'm gonna have to start watching Dragonball GT.
It's been such a long time since I've seen any Dragonballs.
It really is the best show ever once you seen it seven times.
I watched Howard Stern.
Very funny.
I watched Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Very funnier.
The fucking President's thing.
The kid, the Even Stevens guy. Yeah, him.
I went to bed.
Had lots of trouble sleeping.


2/22, Today

I added five pages to my AP music theory guy.
I stopped trying on it, that's why I was able to get so much done.
All through AP bio, I wanted to use penetration for an answer to a question Mr. Lux would ask.
About halfway through the class, Mr. lux asked a question. He said the word begins with a P and ends with an N, and I'm sure you could imagine the joy I had right then.
I gave my answer. It was the wrong answer.
Mr. Lux was really pissed off.
The correct answer was pollen.
I got my thing with my English project grade, and it was alright.
Oh, yeah, I also got a vocab guy back.
16. The fervor of the impact caused the fetus's fead to tear thru his mother's abdomen.
17. The exulting clown received a gift of charred diarrhea from his brother's spaceship to the moon.
18. Mr. Lux glowered at Mark Twain after the b's came and ate a bunch of human embryos.
19. The Chris mutinously kicked the senator in the head, causing him to get a big hug--I didn't stop laughing.
20. The Jesus malevolently ran into the bank and shot three of the hostages, and then he returned home to count the number of undesireable that's in his college essay.
And, oh, I got this marriage plan thing back.
I will marry a Christmas tree. I would want to have all family members in attendance, dead or alive. It would be in a large castle on a cliff, overlooking the Gulf of Jesus. We will join forces and defeat the evil empire. Everyone gets rice crackers and Mountain Dew. Admission will be $35 for adults, $15 for children, and 75 cents (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE CENT SIGN!) for the deceased. Instead of throwing rice at the end part, people will throw exotic animals. At the very end, the tree and I will jump off the cliff and die in each others arms on the rocky beach below, but before we hit the ground, Megan will reach down and grab us and throw up into the sky, where we will live in a city in the clouds happily ever after.
Good.
I'm glad it's done.
I ran today.
Not very long.
But I did run.

This has got to be the longest blog post ever.