Daring to Try, to Do it or Die, I Gotta Be Dead

Friday:

I took my AP bio final. I then went to AP bio. Then I went with some of the squib people to breakfast. Then I went back to school to work on my page. Then I went home. Then I went to the track sectional. Then I ran a PR in the 4x800. I ran a 2:18.Then I went potty. Then I went to Taco Bell with Audrey, Jen, Chrissy, and Ashley Woolen. Then Eric Byrer and some foreigners showed up. Then we were all gonna go to my house, and then I went there, and everyone else just kinda decided to not show up. Then I ended up going to play basketball ( me, Stefan, Jon/Josh, Stephanie, and Matt). I kinda just stood there for a while, thinking about stuff. I spent a lot of the time looking a the tree behind the basketball goal, imagining seeing myself hanging from it. It made me feel a little better to see that the world would still be there even if I was dead. Then I took Stephanie home. Then I went to pick Stefan up from his house. Then I helped him look for his Team America: World Police special edition unrated version DVD. Then we watched the movie. Then I had some pizza, and then I went to bed.


Saturday:

I did nothing, and then I went to the movie theater and did some fun things for about and hour. Then Tyler and I shook hands. Then I went to Jim Peck's house. After a while, I drove by Adam Barlow's house to see if he was around, and then I went to the Schmitts' house, and I broke some dumb broad's back. I ate some things. We exchanged stories, then Eric Byrer left. It was about one a.m. by this time, and Justin told me he was going to bed at two. We went out into the one room, and we discussed Stephen King and some other things. Then he offered to lend me his Donnie Darko The Director's Cut DVD. I looked at the clock, and it was a little after three. I was quite surprised by this, us talking so long. It reminded me of the time last summer when I went over to the Schmitts' house and was talking to Justin and Matt Baker and ended up leaving at three a.m. So, I went home and had some pizza and took a shower, and then I went to bed at about 4:30.


Sunday:

I woke up at about 1. I had some pizza for breakfast. I went over to the Gahimers' to watch Donnie Darko. They said it was stupid, and it pissed me off. I hate when people label something they don't understand as stupid. I was pissed off even further when Stephanie turned the TV to a movie that was stupid and pretended it was something special. I went home at this point, because my head was starting to act up. I took some pills when I got home, and then I watched Donnie Darko with my brother. Then I ate some Pizza. Then I went back to the Gahimer place to watch "Family Guy." Luckily, Fox decided to play fucking stupid-ass Star Wars, so I watched "Desparate Housewives" instead. Rex died. I guess he won't having anymore problems with crying when he ejaculates. Then I watched some more TV (Bam and Rosanne). Then I went home and called Amanda. I woke her ass right up and exchanged stories with her. Then I did some more things, and that's about it.

Tom

This post is far from done.




Hi. I'm Blaire. This is a picture of me about eight months ago. I am holding some awards I got for my accomplishments throughout the cross country season. I am not that small anymore. I now have a nice layer of class-4 armor. My hair is now a great deal shorter as well.




That's my brother, Brandon Kyle, on the left with his tennis participation award. We are lying on the cafeteria floor at our school.




I'm here with my family.




Blaire, Alex Miller, Zach Fox, done running the race guy, good job.




Coach man was quite proud of us that day.




Stephanie and I were supposed to dance, but Stephanie acted like she needed to talk to me about something, and she just said that because she didn't want to dance, because she can't dance, so we just sat down, and she started talking about some stupid shit, and Lindsay Conner took a picture and gave it to me at school the following week.




I got this guy and a keychain. And guess what. I didn't even want one of those fuckin XXXXXXXXXXL t-shirts, so suck my balls.




I was counting some tallying some freshman survey stuff for Audrey Brown in squib (our school's yearbook) the other day, and I came across this guy. I thought it was pretty funny. Do you see it? It's funny.




This is from the senior packet we had to fill out for squib. Every senior was asked to fill one of these out. I had to make some adjustments to mine before turning it in, so I decided to scan it before i did so, so I could always remember it how it was. The answers I put. I would have gotten in trouble for having them on there. No joke. I kick ass.




Wesley Flemming. Now, there's a character. You probably won't get what is so great about this one unless you know Wesley. As a matter of fact, I saw the responses on this and thought is seemed like Wesley material. I was not at all surprised when I looked at the top of the paper and saw his name. Wesley is a very small little bitch. He has a wonderfully dry sense of humor. I could go on for days, but no.




This beautiful piece of art should really be closer to the top.

So, we were in AP bio the other day, dissecting pig hearts and stuff. While everyone was hard at work, I was fingerpainting...with pig blood. It was fun as shit. I showed it to many people. Most were scared. All were happy to know how awesome I was.




Cross Country Camp, Summer 2003. That is Zack Attack on the left. Jon Lee is in the middle, while I am on the right with my really short hair. You need to recca-nize.

Correction: This picture is from the state track meet we went--it's so fucking hot, I wish my parents believed in air conditioning--to, because Sean Hudson ran and finished fourth (?) in the 1600. He was seeded seventh and we caught about 800 cicaidas in a bottle. They died later on. I kept the bottle in my room, and it started to expand over time. Stefan came over and twisted the lid in my room, and it made the whole house smell like shit. My dad later threw the bottle away. This picture takes place about two years after my original claim. Sorry for the mix-down.



Do you guys remember this? Sectional. Stephanie came. She was just plain bad luck.

I just thought of something funny:

-do you have an umbrella?
-yeah, let me get it

I spent most of my time over there, talking about Lees and their penises and other good stuff.

Danny Nuthak bought Stephanie some popcorn, and they fell in love and had sex on the bleachers.




I ran. Josh is over there too.

Chicken McPenis

There was something I wanted to blog about last night, but I was really tired. I don't remember what it was now.

I have to write a paper for Chris, my bio teacher, on the dangers of eating spoiled pork.

Beat your Track

Um. Well.


Late Saturday night, Stefan and I went over to Stephanie's house. This was after I made out with Eric Voss. Justin Cory had also delivered a pizza here. "Okay, back to the bitches." We went over there, and we didn't know what the situation was with the sleeping and such, so we decided to go around back to let Stephanie know we were there.

Bad idea.

We went around front, and I knocked three times. Jessica came out and demanded that we come in. Stephanie threw a fit, and she said Amnityville. Things got way better with the nacautica and the...fuck...what else?...shit...something about semi-trucks and that's all I can remember right now. Stefan and I decided to take Stephanie to her sister's place on the west side. Stephanie didn't give me good directions, so we got lost quite a few times. We finally made it, and Stephanie seemed pissed off about something. We took off from there, and I drove right across the grassy plains. That was fun as shit. After that, we went back to my house, and Stefan got his car, and I got his cellular, and I followed him to his house, and I got in his car, and we went to the middle school and burnt some shit out in the grass, and then we went back to his house, and Susan and Ashley Woolen and Tom Bonehead came over, and I read some stories to them, and we all had a good laugh, and then Susan told us the story of her lesbian, and then Shotaro and Bryce came over, and we all hanged out for a little while, and then I went to my home, and then I did some stuff there, and then I called Amanda, and it was, like, 3:30 A.M., and she is an hour in the future now, so it was about 4:30 A.M. by her watch, and we talked for a pretty long time, and then she got in bed and sounded tired and started speaking some crazy jibberish, so I hung up on her ass, and then I did some more stuff, and then I went to bed.

My mother woke me up a few times the next day so she could get me to go to my grandparents' house for mother's [or is it mothers'? (or is it mothers?)] day, and I was gonna go, but Stefan came over and wanted me to run with him, and then I made a horrible mistake, and my day ended up being ruined, so I pretty much just laid in my bed after that, but I did get up a few times to do stuff, and then I had to go to (censored) to get some poster-board for my government project. That shit took forever. But the new Family Guy was on and it was pretty sweet. I was the only one in my family who got the Vincent Van Gogh joke. I explained it to my dad, and he laughed. That's all for that day. Wait! It isn't. One more thing. Final Fantasy Anthology came with a CD with all of the great scores from Final Fantasy V and VI. There are some beautiful pieces of Super Nintendo music on that guy, and I forgot all about it for the longest time, and it brought back many wonderful memories.

I went back to school today. It was gay as fuck. We took the AP Bio test (the AP test), and I was awesome, but I can't tell you what I did, because that would be illegal. Mr. Lux bought us all snickerses for our break, and that was nice. After all of that, I went to fitness, where I benched a lot of shit. Everyone was impressed.

We're doing this debate project in English, and my group is pro-choice. I found this place with some pro-choice slogans on the internet, and one of them is really good and I like it:

"Hey George, Stay out of My Bush!"

Anyway, I really liked that one.

I did find a bunch of pictures of aborted fetuses last week. That was pretty sweet.

We had a big meet in Franklin today. I ran the last leg of the 4x800, and we were already so far behind, that I decided not to be so serious about it. Right off the bat, I was skipping around, and then I was yelling at the Lees and Pierson, and then at the end of my second and final lap, I tried to pass the baton to Tate, and he didn't take it, and my split was 2:28, which is 9 seconds slower than the 2:19 I ran in fitness the other day. My best time in a meet at this point is 2:23. Stephanie and Emily showed up and tried to take advantage of Sam. Luckily, I was there to save him. We all went up to the place and said hey to everyone and Stephanie kept flirting with my dad. I later ran the 800 and did it in 2:20. My best time ever in a meet (my already best time ever is 2:18, set by me in fitness a long time ago this year) was right there. I went back up to sit with Stephanie and Emily, and my grandparents gave me some grape Gatorade, and it was good. Sam was way ahead of Stefan and Alex in the 3200, and Emily was gonna go out with him if he won, but Stefan beat him by like this much and it was a good race. Alex got way behind because he has a hernia, and he had sex with Kristen. At the end, we all went down to talk to Derek (sp?) Atwood (?) and Danny Nuthak, and Stephanie fell in love with Danny again, but she was afraid to touch him.

We all went home, and Stefan saw Cheesy walking in Franklin, and I wanted to drive Krissy's new stupid-ass Beatle, but the dumb bitch wouldn't let me, and then I found out where Ani lives, and then I went home for some McDonald's, and here I am.

Wait.

I told Sam he should touch Stephanie's boobies, and he said it would be sexual assault, and I told him she was an illegal immigrant and there was nothing she could do, and that's all there is to that story.

Shit. I just realized how early we got back. Damn.

Long Lived Anna

I got up today.
I shaved.
I played hit the soccer ball with the bat with my brother.
Then we played basketball.
Well, I played basketball with my sister first.
She ran into the house after I hit her with the ball a few times.
Then I had to get some bats down from the attic.
Then I played with my brother.
I had some chicken.

The Kylie thing last night.
You know.
Well, you don't know.
Just pretend you do.
No big deal.

I was licking this green algae stuff in bio on Thursday.
We put it under a microscope and found out that it had flatworms all over it.
I might have flatworms in my stomach right now.
I hope I do.
I don't think that's really a bad thing.
It's more of a funny thing.
I like funny things.
Like Sam's penis.

Shit.

I Hate Goddamn Bananas

Corey finally put up those sexy pictures of me. Here's one. Here's the other. The water was really cold, so I jumped out pretty quick, and he didn't get any pictures of me while I was in there. Oh well. Better luck next time.

I went to grab for my Team America soundtrack last night, and it wasn't there. I am very upset about that. If anyone sees it, please return it to me. Download "Lisa and Gary." It's really good. I told my parents I wanted it played at my funeral, and they got kinda freaked out. But it is good, so have fun.

I was running late to school this morning, because I wanted to get on the internet. I decided it was time to leave after just a little while. I went out to the kitchen to find my brother cleaning up a lots of coffee off the counter. I asked him if we were leaving, and he got some more paper towel and told me he had to finish cleaning the shit up, so my dad wouldn't know where his coffee went. I got back on the computer, and my brother decided to have diarrhea. I asked him if I should wait, and he said I should. After about ten minutes, my brother told me to leave him. I left. Brother...oh no! was the excuse written by myself on the sign-in thing. I went to class, and I saw the black chick and Tamera or something, and then I kept finding grass in my hair. I read in AP bio, and Jim and I lifted like a couple of awesome bitches. In English, Ben and I talked to Megan. I ran, and it was alright. My feet got really numb again. I saw Sean Hudson while my feet were numb, and we talked. I ran back to the school, and I broke a watch. The pieces went flying everywhere, and I said, "I wasn't expecting that to happen." Coach Man was waiting on Sean to get back, and I told him Sean ran from his house, and we decided that Sean would probably run home and not to the high school. Coach Man left, and then Sean showed up. I talked to Sean for a little while, and then he showed me some nice abdominal workouts, and then I decided to take him home, and we saw Stan in the parking lot, and he talked to Sean about U of I and Bryce, and he said U of I was one of the schools he went to, and he said he really liked it there. I took Sean home, and I went home.

Hyssopus officinalis

I feel sick, and I don't wanna do anything right now, and I have to finish my bio paper, but I just wanted to put this right quick. I was researching my plant, Hyssopus officinalis, and I found that it is effective in treating and tumors. A coincidence? Absolutely.

Penetration at its Best

My last real post was on the fifteenth, so I'm gonna try to remember all the highlights since then.


2/16

Had a short swim practice.
Some people were taking pictures. I think Sam Booth and Eric Byrer got the best ones. ;)
We went to Rob's house for food and stuff, and we showed Rob the pictures, and then Cody Miller showed my mom and Tyty's mom one of them. I think it scared both of them. We then watched Old School and I beat the shit out of Chris Wooten, and then we all went home.
I talked to Clinton on the internet for just a little while. We sent each other lots of smileys.
That's about all I can remember.


2/17

Some people did their society project in English. They lived in a bubble, in the ocean. They had a picture of it. They rode elevators down to the bubble from an island. I guess the island was just a big piece of land floating around on the water, and it really pissed me off.
Swimming sectional.
I beat Cherry, right?
Yeah.
He didn't do shit.
That's right.


2/18

My groups day to go in English.
I had trouble getting the printer to print my musical talents for the project.
I had to write some lyrics at lunch.
I put on my Johnny Depp Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas shirt in front of everybody in the hallway.
We did our thing.
I read my lyrics, and it didn't even matter that I had all that music, because we didn't even use it and Miss Couden didn't even see it.
We showed our video to the rest of the class. I was somewhat fearful that Miss Couden would try to kill me after seeing me naked in the video, but she just laughed along with the rest of the class.
Swim practice.
I walked over to Beavis Alert's house at approximately 5:30 P.M. We drove around for a bit. I told him many great stories. He called Amber Alert, and then we drove thru the water and got her.
We all went to Goodwill, where we saw Eric Byrer, shopping with his mother, Susan.
We looked and looked for something for me to wear to formal. Nothing seemed to fit me.
We finally found this little black skirt and this stretchy pink shirt. We got a nice purse, and we were on our way.
Beavis Alert took me home.
I drove on over to the high school.
Senior night.
I saw my Clinton, and I gave him a hug.
I saw some Lees (one of them took notice to my shirt after some time) and a Hudson and a Kuhn and a Newkirk and a Pierce and a Barlow and an Orem (he recognized the Fear and Loathing scene on my shirt right away) and I ate four hotdogs, and then we had our cross country recognition, and then I got some ice cream.
Blaire Hartman, Andrew Newkirk, Joh Lee, Josh lee (Jon comes before Josh aphabetically), Sean Hudson, Jarod Grimme, Adam Barlow, Lindsay Conner, Justin Kuhn, and Pierce Martin all went to Applebee's, where we saw Pat Creel.
It was nice seeing Pat Creel.
I was very funny.
I told Adam Barlow many interesting stories about Lindsay Conner.
We all went home.


2/19

Got up at about nine.
Got on the internet for a while.
Shaved.
Went to the high school.
Got on the bus.
Went to Center Grove for sectional finals.
Went into the locker room.
Stefan found a pencil.
Stefan tried to get pencil stuck in ceiling.
Blair found stool.
Blair tried to get stool stuck in ceiling.
Stool didn't stick.
Stool came back down.
As did a nice portion of the ceiling.
Oops!
Blair picked up some big pieces of the ceiling.
We got out of there very quickly.
We swam.
We got 45 points, I think.
We lost.
Um.
I went home.
I got dressed up for formal.
I picked up Amber Alert.
Her mom, I think, got some pictures.
We went to see Beavis Alert at work.
We headed over to Lindsay Conner's house.
We passed Bryce New on Amos.
We got to Linday's just in time to see the end of Secret Window.
Johnny Depp.
Adam Barlow was there.
Megan Allen and Lori Nigh showed up.
We all went to get Erica Cole and Derica.
We all went to Logan's Roadhouse.
We saw Pat Creel there.
What are the odds of that?
We ate.
I told Adam Barlow a secret.
Megan left her cell phone on the table, so I took it.
I called a few people from Megan's phone.
I called Sally, pretending to be Adam, and he didn't like the message I left her, and he erased it.
We went to the thing.
Everyone thought I was beautiful.
People were getting pictures of me left and right.
We danced.
A bunch of guys were wanting to take me home with them.
We went to Denny's.
A guy gave me a dollar for wearing a skirt.
I got this Oreo thing.
We left.
I went home, I think.
Wait.
I played games with Adam Barlow as we were heading down 44.
And then I led the way for a little, and then I started driving crazy, and then this cop pulled up, and I drove away very slowly.
The cop just kinda sat there for a bit, and then he went on his way.
And then I went home.
I started to write a poem about it, I think.
I think I fell asleep around 5.


2/20

Got up at about noon.
Talked to Blaine Zimmerman on the internet.
He directed me towards Paris Hilton's contacts (not the kind you wear in your eyes).
I tried many of the numbers.
None seemed to work.
I think that's about it.


2/21

Got up.
Went to the computer.
Recognized, right away, the headline stating that my new hero, Hunter S. Thompson, had committed suicide.
I spent most of the day finding links to him and putting them in my blog.
I sat around.
Uh....
Hmmm.
I found out Dragonball GT is on Cartoon Network now.
I know I'm gonna have to start watching Dragonball GT.
It's been such a long time since I've seen any Dragonballs.
It really is the best show ever once you seen it seven times.
I watched Howard Stern.
Very funny.
I watched Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Very funnier.
The fucking President's thing.
The kid, the Even Stevens guy. Yeah, him.
I went to bed.
Had lots of trouble sleeping.


2/22, Today

I added five pages to my AP music theory guy.
I stopped trying on it, that's why I was able to get so much done.
All through AP bio, I wanted to use penetration for an answer to a question Mr. Lux would ask.
About halfway through the class, Mr. lux asked a question. He said the word begins with a P and ends with an N, and I'm sure you could imagine the joy I had right then.
I gave my answer. It was the wrong answer.
Mr. Lux was really pissed off.
The correct answer was pollen.
I got my thing with my English project grade, and it was alright.
Oh, yeah, I also got a vocab guy back.
16. The fervor of the impact caused the fetus's fead to tear thru his mother's abdomen.
17. The exulting clown received a gift of charred diarrhea from his brother's spaceship to the moon.
18. Mr. Lux glowered at Mark Twain after the b's came and ate a bunch of human embryos.
19. The Chris mutinously kicked the senator in the head, causing him to get a big hug--I didn't stop laughing.
20. The Jesus malevolently ran into the bank and shot three of the hostages, and then he returned home to count the number of undesireable that's in his college essay.
And, oh, I got this marriage plan thing back.
I will marry a Christmas tree. I would want to have all family members in attendance, dead or alive. It would be in a large castle on a cliff, overlooking the Gulf of Jesus. We will join forces and defeat the evil empire. Everyone gets rice crackers and Mountain Dew. Admission will be $35 for adults, $15 for children, and 75 cents (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE CENT SIGN!) for the deceased. Instead of throwing rice at the end part, people will throw exotic animals. At the very end, the tree and I will jump off the cliff and die in each others arms on the rocky beach below, but before we hit the ground, Megan will reach down and grab us and throw up into the sky, where we will live in a city in the clouds happily ever after.
Good.
I'm glad it's done.
I ran today.
Not very long.
But I did run.

This has got to be the longest blog post ever.

Pancakes and Applesause

I finally got my fucking thing printed out.

I took my honky-tonk piano part and put it on the ondes martenot. I don't know what the hell an Ondes Martenot is, so I think I'll look it up right about now... Alright, here it is. It's really neat. People commented on its similarity to that of the Mega Man musical titties.

I was being funny in AP Bio today.

I was being funny in English, too. I, for some reason, recalled a time back in eighth grade, in careers, when I told Ben Purvis he smelled like applesause. I told him that again today, and he didn't seem to remember it, so I explained the whole thing to him, and then he remembered. I took Mallory's birdhouse and gave it to Ross as a present, even though Ben is the one that took it.

Lauren Bray (that right?) followed me out to my car after school. I took her for a ride through the country, because it was a very lovely day. We got way the ef out there. We started heading back on Smithland Road, and we were going about eighty miles per hour. We both agreed that I needed to slow down, on account of the car approaching us from the other direction. It was about that time that I threw the ignition into reverse. What a crazy idea that turned out to be. We both almost flew out through the windshield. She was lucky I had her put her seatbelt on before this good time. Well, I put the guy back into drive, and I hit the gas. Nothing happened. I tried to turn the steering wheel, and it didn't seem to want to move. There was much heat and burning smell coming through the ventilation system, and I noticed that the car was no longer on, so I put it in park, and I tried to start it. It didn't start. I tried again and again, and it wouldn't start, so I pushed it, and Lauren steered it into this driveway guy, and I was walking up toward the front of the car, where I heard the engine running. I got back in the car, and I asked Lauren if she had started the car. She said she hadn't. I put the guy in drive, and it worked. It must have just overheated from all the trauma and simply started itself back up when it felt better. We went to swim practice and lived happily ever after.

I got home from swim practice, and I ate, then I gave that one chick a call, and we went to the park, and I took off my clothes, and she filmed me. I looked kinda fat, because I had just eaten a lot of shit, but I think I still looked pretty hot in the video, and she agreed with me, so I think Miss Couden will be quite pleased. So it goes.

Poor Nanna

I went to school today. I talked to Zip.

I went to AP Bio. We had a big AP Bio orgy. I talked to Mr. Lux.

I went to English. I talked to Ben. I pulled out my story, "Cotton Candy" or Cotton Candy (that all depends what I end up doing with it, I guess), and i gave it to Ben. Ben read it and passed each page to Ross as he read thru each. Ross then read each page, passing them on to Kendra. They all read and enjoyed the story. I read certain parts of it, and it reminded me of how awesome I am at writing. Well, they all told me to keep writing it, and I think I will. I'm feeling up to the challenge. Kendra asked me if she could borrow it, because she wanted to show it to Brian Kolls. I told her I would make a copy for her, but I don't really feel like doing that at the moment. Sorry, Charlie.

Vote or Die, Mr. Lux

I drew this picture on my Bio homework last night. I knew I was gonna get all of the points on this assignment, so I drew this picture at the bottom, depicting me bringing my A+ home to show Mommy.

I started writing this awesome story in study hall called "Cotton Candy." It's about this little kid's first day of kindergarten, and it's really good. Tyty and Chris Evans have both read the first part of it, and they both loved it.

I was standing outside the choir room after school today, and Bridget Brewer punched me right in my dried up titty, and it hurt. A few seconds later, Polly Anna runned up and hit me there, too, but it's ok, because it turned me on when she did it. But, it still hurts right now, and I think it's gonna be hurting for a while, and I like it.

No one would go to Taco Bell with me after school today, so I had to just come home and eat some stuff.