Dick Ripple

On my latest outing to Broad Ripple, I ran into several people that I have known throughout my life.  It was nice to see them and hear them talk about my big penis.  I also ran into three people I didn't know.  These were the most intriguing people to talk to, because the approached me as if they knew me.  Upon investigating their intentions, I found that it was actually my penis they knew and not so much the person behind the penis.  After spending some time thinking about it, I have come to the conclusion that people are more interested in knowing my penis than they are me.  It makes sense.  My penis is far more attractive than me and has a much better personality.  It is for this reason that I have decided to start living my life vicariously through my penis.

Tomorrow Today Tomorrow Today

I went to the doctor this morning. He tested me for some stuff. It was all negative. He wrote me some excuses for some stuff, and he wrote some stuff for some medications. He told me I shouldn't run again until next week.

When I got to school, I found out that my XL project made it to round two, as did Tyler's and Zip's and Paul's and Randal's and I think that's all.

We did the half-mile today in fitness. I had to beat two minutes and eighteen seconds, but I ran a twenty-six or a twenty-seven. I was hurting pretty bad after that, and I coughed for about a week.

After school, I followed Mr. and Mrs. Corey to Corey's house. I had never been to this area before, so it was a new experience for me. Corey asked me if I would like to come in and say hello to John. I told him I would love to, and we went in. John wasn't there, and I got pissed off. I noticed they had a pool. I asked if I could get in. Corey told me no. He told me John would let me, and he said I should just wait for him to get home. I later went out back, to jump in the pool. Corey got the camera and a towel. I took off all my clothes and jumped in the pool. My left hand hit the ice, and it hurt. The water was very cold, so I quickly jumped out. As I was drying off, a car drove by on the road o'er yonder. I raised my hand to wave and jumped up and down. I told Corey to post the pictures in his blog (sadly, my penis is in none of them). He assured me he would do that. I will post the link to the stuff as soon as he posts it. Hello.

A Blog to End All Faggots

I'm sick. Kyle told me not to run today. He said I should see a doctor. My throat hurts, and it's pissing me off. I've been getting up in the middle of the night, because I can't sleep. When I get up, I yell and feel like I'm about to cry. Sunday night, I got up to get some Gatorade, and I sat out there in the room for a little while, drinking my stuff. When I was in my bed (the whole time before and the whole time after), I kept thinking I was with these guys again, and we were hanging out by the boys club, reading each others blogs. This kept me from getting the sleep I wanted and desperately needed. I finally started feeling drowsy when I tried to imagine walking into Shelbyville with some black guys, but then it was time to get up and go to school. That morning, my mom asked me if my sister was up with me in the middle of the night. She said she heard someone running through the hall, screaming.
Monday night-slept a little.
Tuesday night-got up at about two, and watched TV and ate some chicken breast with mashed potatoes and gravy and had some water with blue pills, then went back to bed.

Yesterday, Tuesday, again, I decided not to run in the cold weather. Coach Man sent me back to the high school to talk to Kyle and ride a bike. When I got there, I saw many children in the weight room, making up missed gym classes. This reminded me that I had one gym to make up. Kyle told me to ride a bike for twenty minutes, keeping it over 100 rpm's. My twin, Blayr, was already in there, making up a gym. This was my first time ever being in this sort of situation, so I asked Bowmanchick what to do. She told me I had to ride a bike five miles or twenty minutes, whichever comes first. I said okay, and went over to write my name on the gym make-up thing. Blayr had been the last person to come, and was the last name on the list, except her name was like this: Blaire Green. So, I wrote, "Blayr Hartman." I went over and got on a bike, and told my twin all about it. I got on the bike and started riding. After about eighteen minutes, Bowmanchick came over and said, "Hey, you're done."
I said, "How far do I have to go?"
She said, "You only had to go five miles."
"I'm almost done then."
"You're already done. Look. This is how far you've gone(Bowman chick points to the mileage thing that reads: 7.8). You've gone too far."
I then started to pedal backwards, to get rid of the unwanted mileage.
Bowmanchick: Don't pedal backwards, just get off.
Blaire: I've got this.
Bowmanchick: you can just go whenever you're done.

I was about to leave school when this kid came over and asked for a ride. I told him I would take him home. I said, "My car's over on this side."
When we got out there, he asked, "How long have you been over here?"
I then asked, "On this side of the school?"
Then he said, "No. How long have you been over here from Germany?"
So, the kid thinks I'm from Germany, and the whole way to his house, I told him about life in Germany and my house parents and stuff. He didn't seem to doubt anything I said. I am a pretty good storyteller, though. I could probably make up stuff to fool anyone in a situation like this. Just look at my trophy.

I saw Clinton Coffey a whole bunch. I gave him lots of hugs, and I showed him my genitals (I've been showing lots of people my genitals lately). Today, I was walking out of school, and I saw him pulling up in the parking lot, and he jumped out, and I threw my binder, and we ran towards each other, and I jumped and he catched me, and he spinned around with me in his arms, and that's it.

Oh, yeah. One more thing. On our boulder run on Monday, we were heading back, and we were on that one long road, 250 south, I think, and the wind was coming at us very strong, and it carried the soud of a guy in a brown truck that plays ice cream truck music. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew he was watching over me.

Cinema of the State

So, I guess Blink isn't really broken up.

I guess.

I went to school and was awesome all day.

Alex showed me a new lift for my bicepts.

I taught that one guy how to bench and squat and do some other things.

I went to Lindsay's house. I wore my Triton Elementary t-shirt, and I told her to wear hers. She gave me some nice pants to wear. She wore her shirt. I wore a scarf around my neck. I looked like a faggot. We went to the place. Shelbyville beat the blue guys. We waved to Sally. After the game, we went out to my car, and Lindsay got in, and as I was getting in, these chicks ran up to me and asked to see my penis, so I showed them my penis, and they got really turned on. When Lindsay called me, I was watching "Family Guy." It was "Death is a Bitch." That was the episode, and it had been a while since I had seen it. While we were at the game, she asked me if I remembered the part from the Family Guy with Death, and she wasn't able to finish the question, because I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I explained the situation to her. I have to remember to go back to my show choir post and add her name to it before she notices it's not there again.

Penetration at its Best

My last real post was on the fifteenth, so I'm gonna try to remember all the highlights since then.


2/16

Had a short swim practice.
Some people were taking pictures. I think Sam Booth and Eric Byrer got the best ones. ;)
We went to Rob's house for food and stuff, and we showed Rob the pictures, and then Cody Miller showed my mom and Tyty's mom one of them. I think it scared both of them. We then watched Old School and I beat the shit out of Chris Wooten, and then we all went home.
I talked to Clinton on the internet for just a little while. We sent each other lots of smileys.
That's about all I can remember.


2/17

Some people did their society project in English. They lived in a bubble, in the ocean. They had a picture of it. They rode elevators down to the bubble from an island. I guess the island was just a big piece of land floating around on the water, and it really pissed me off.
Swimming sectional.
I beat Cherry, right?
Yeah.
He didn't do shit.
That's right.


2/18

My groups day to go in English.
I had trouble getting the printer to print my musical talents for the project.
I had to write some lyrics at lunch.
I put on my Johnny Depp Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas shirt in front of everybody in the hallway.
We did our thing.
I read my lyrics, and it didn't even matter that I had all that music, because we didn't even use it and Miss Couden didn't even see it.
We showed our video to the rest of the class. I was somewhat fearful that Miss Couden would try to kill me after seeing me naked in the video, but she just laughed along with the rest of the class.
Swim practice.
I walked over to Beavis Alert's house at approximately 5:30 P.M. We drove around for a bit. I told him many great stories. He called Amber Alert, and then we drove thru the water and got her.
We all went to Goodwill, where we saw Eric Byrer, shopping with his mother, Susan.
We looked and looked for something for me to wear to formal. Nothing seemed to fit me.
We finally found this little black skirt and this stretchy pink shirt. We got a nice purse, and we were on our way.
Beavis Alert took me home.
I drove on over to the high school.
Senior night.
I saw my Clinton, and I gave him a hug.
I saw some Lees (one of them took notice to my shirt after some time) and a Hudson and a Kuhn and a Newkirk and a Pierce and a Barlow and an Orem (he recognized the Fear and Loathing scene on my shirt right away) and I ate four hotdogs, and then we had our cross country recognition, and then I got some ice cream.
Blaire Hartman, Andrew Newkirk, Joh Lee, Josh lee (Jon comes before Josh aphabetically), Sean Hudson, Jarod Grimme, Adam Barlow, Lindsay Conner, Justin Kuhn, and Pierce Martin all went to Applebee's, where we saw Pat Creel.
It was nice seeing Pat Creel.
I was very funny.
I told Adam Barlow many interesting stories about Lindsay Conner.
We all went home.


2/19

Got up at about nine.
Got on the internet for a while.
Shaved.
Went to the high school.
Got on the bus.
Went to Center Grove for sectional finals.
Went into the locker room.
Stefan found a pencil.
Stefan tried to get pencil stuck in ceiling.
Blair found stool.
Blair tried to get stool stuck in ceiling.
Stool didn't stick.
Stool came back down.
As did a nice portion of the ceiling.
Oops!
Blair picked up some big pieces of the ceiling.
We got out of there very quickly.
We swam.
We got 45 points, I think.
We lost.
Um.
I went home.
I got dressed up for formal.
I picked up Amber Alert.
Her mom, I think, got some pictures.
We went to see Beavis Alert at work.
We headed over to Lindsay Conner's house.
We passed Bryce New on Amos.
We got to Linday's just in time to see the end of Secret Window.
Johnny Depp.
Adam Barlow was there.
Megan Allen and Lori Nigh showed up.
We all went to get Erica Cole and Derica.
We all went to Logan's Roadhouse.
We saw Pat Creel there.
What are the odds of that?
We ate.
I told Adam Barlow a secret.
Megan left her cell phone on the table, so I took it.
I called a few people from Megan's phone.
I called Sally, pretending to be Adam, and he didn't like the message I left her, and he erased it.
We went to the thing.
Everyone thought I was beautiful.
People were getting pictures of me left and right.
We danced.
A bunch of guys were wanting to take me home with them.
We went to Denny's.
A guy gave me a dollar for wearing a skirt.
I got this Oreo thing.
We left.
I went home, I think.
Wait.
I played games with Adam Barlow as we were heading down 44.
And then I led the way for a little, and then I started driving crazy, and then this cop pulled up, and I drove away very slowly.
The cop just kinda sat there for a bit, and then he went on his way.
And then I went home.
I started to write a poem about it, I think.
I think I fell asleep around 5.


2/20

Got up at about noon.
Talked to Blaine Zimmerman on the internet.
He directed me towards Paris Hilton's contacts (not the kind you wear in your eyes).
I tried many of the numbers.
None seemed to work.
I think that's about it.


2/21

Got up.
Went to the computer.
Recognized, right away, the headline stating that my new hero, Hunter S. Thompson, had committed suicide.
I spent most of the day finding links to him and putting them in my blog.
I sat around.
Uh....
Hmmm.
I found out Dragonball GT is on Cartoon Network now.
I know I'm gonna have to start watching Dragonball GT.
It's been such a long time since I've seen any Dragonballs.
It really is the best show ever once you seen it seven times.
I watched Howard Stern.
Very funny.
I watched Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Very funnier.
The fucking President's thing.
The kid, the Even Stevens guy. Yeah, him.
I went to bed.
Had lots of trouble sleeping.


2/22, Today

I added five pages to my AP music theory guy.
I stopped trying on it, that's why I was able to get so much done.
All through AP bio, I wanted to use penetration for an answer to a question Mr. Lux would ask.
About halfway through the class, Mr. lux asked a question. He said the word begins with a P and ends with an N, and I'm sure you could imagine the joy I had right then.
I gave my answer. It was the wrong answer.
Mr. Lux was really pissed off.
The correct answer was pollen.
I got my thing with my English project grade, and it was alright.
Oh, yeah, I also got a vocab guy back.
16. The fervor of the impact caused the fetus's fead to tear thru his mother's abdomen.
17. The exulting clown received a gift of charred diarrhea from his brother's spaceship to the moon.
18. Mr. Lux glowered at Mark Twain after the b's came and ate a bunch of human embryos.
19. The Chris mutinously kicked the senator in the head, causing him to get a big hug--I didn't stop laughing.
20. The Jesus malevolently ran into the bank and shot three of the hostages, and then he returned home to count the number of undesireable that's in his college essay.
And, oh, I got this marriage plan thing back.
I will marry a Christmas tree. I would want to have all family members in attendance, dead or alive. It would be in a large castle on a cliff, overlooking the Gulf of Jesus. We will join forces and defeat the evil empire. Everyone gets rice crackers and Mountain Dew. Admission will be $35 for adults, $15 for children, and 75 cents (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE CENT SIGN!) for the deceased. Instead of throwing rice at the end part, people will throw exotic animals. At the very end, the tree and I will jump off the cliff and die in each others arms on the rocky beach below, but before we hit the ground, Megan will reach down and grab us and throw up into the sky, where we will live in a city in the clouds happily ever after.
Good.
I'm glad it's done.
I ran today.
Not very long.
But I did run.

This has got to be the longest blog post ever.

Come to Think of it, I don't have Any Rolls

Yesterday, we had a swim meet against Warren Central. We won. When we were done swimming, Felps dircted my attention toward a girl sitting way up in the bleachers. I couldn't see her very well (she was facing the other direction and talking on her cell phone), but Felps assured me she had big boobies, so I told him we should just stand there and stare at her. We did that for a little while, and then we walked over to the diving area. We talked to Tyty for just a little while, and then I happened to look back at the bleachers. There I saw my mom, standing behind that one girl, waving at us, so I said, "Hey guys, let's pretend to wave at my mom, but really be doing it to that chick up there, that way no one will ever know." We waved, and my mom tapped the girl on the shoulder, and then pointed to us and then we went into the locker room. On our way out of the school, I waved to the girl and said goodbye, and then we came back to Shelbyville. A little after ten, I went over to Stefan's house, where we watched Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas. My dad called about ten minutes into the movie, because I had left my house without telling anyone, and he was quite confused. I told him that Stefan and I were watching a porno, and that it'd be done it five minutes. He then said, "Alright, well, I'll see you in about ten minutes." The movie ended about one point five seven hours later, and I got home at a little bit past twelve. The movie was good, and I would highly recommend watching it.

I played tag in the locker room after swim practice today. I later sat down and discovered something amazing, but I'm never gonna tell anyone about it, because it is totally inappropriate.